Update on birthday

[CleverOpalPanda]

I posted here before to see if I was unreasonable for my bday and this is an update on how things unfolded.
He never showed up for my bday he said he is sick and went out at his local shisha in the evening then told me he is struggling financially and wants to meet me when he can buy me a proper gift and 6 weeks passed with no meeting at all ,he missed valentine's as well after promising he will meet me and compensate for my bday ,for 3 or these weekends every Saturday he had problems with his cousin sorting out depts in Birmingham.He told me he has been distant because of his financial situation and will meet once it's better but I got very upset and left him this sunday.my self respect is saying you had enough but a voice says was he really having problems ?I don't want to be naive but if one can't meet you on Saturday they can meet on Sunday for a coffee for example and I offered to go to him or pay for the taxi fare.

I don’t know the background to this. But he’s not interested in you. You’re begging him for attention and even offering to pay…. And he just doesn’t care.

Stop flogging a dead horse, pick your self worth up, and have fun doing something else.

Wow your standards are in the basement. A guy who is interested in you makes an effort. This guy is at best not interested and at worst had another partner.

You are being naive

whoever he is he isn’t a friend of yours and you need to block him out of your life

@itsthetea I broke up with him I did too much for his bday and him in general and was hurting and justifying him for 6 whole weeks and lowered my standards by a lot just to keep him

No idea about your previous thread, but it’s clear this guy isn’t that into you. Move on

Didn’t see your previous thread, but here you sound desperate and sad.
Please have more self respect and cut this guy loose.

Sounds like he was ghosting you and you wouldnt take the hint OP. Stop wasting energy on this person. You don't have a relationship.

I'm.sorry man..gather up your girlfriend's and have a night out or something.

So you have broken up with him / good on you !

you deserve so much more but take time - learn to love and respect yourself . Only then will uou get true love and respect.

Another who doesnt recall your earlier thread.
But please realise this person is not for you. He's not interested, not willing to give you time etc... hes full of excuses.

Move on with no wondering "what if...."

@Pancakeflipper he was very consistent with communication but not meeting full of excuses so I cut my loses and left ,I think he wanted me for papers and now he knows he can't get papers so not useful anymore

@Pancakeflipper on previous theread I was saying he didn't want to take me out for dinner for my bday and was unprepared for it generaly

He’d already broken up with you.

Move on.

What do you mean papers? Is he here illegally?

Yes he is but we are the same nationality and now I feel utterly stupid as I always doubted him but gaslighted myself because there was a time he was very consistent with me but not over the top love bombing me either

You have been very stupid. You are taking a huge risk getting caught up in a scheme like this, potentially jeopardising your own status in this country.
Distance yourself from him immediately, and don’t look back.

If a man really likes you, he’ll move mountains to see you. You seem so desperate for crumbs op. Please know you are worth so much more. Forget this loser and raise the bar in future.

@Swiftie1878 I think I dint know how it would affect me legally as I am settled now here a British citizen ,there was attraction at some point but looking clearly there also was strategy to get papers ,now I discovered he can't get these anymore as he has a criminal conviction of 3 yrs in the past so he has been saying he is going to leave the country and go back

gosh - is there any way to report this as he may try it on with some other poor woman and that’s highly illegal

you have basically been a victim of abuse - he stringing you along as he thought you would be of use

@Screamingabdabz he used to do that put a lot of effort and I held onto that cause we were together for a year almost and I gaslighted myself

No you don’t gaslight yourself ! you fell for an abusive man and now ( like many of us) feel a bit stupid, like it’s your own fault

but many of us know that’s not the case. It shows you have a trusting and loving personality that he was trying to twist to his advantage

@itsthetea I don't think he is ,he wants to leave as he is struggling with his status and there was some attachment here initially that did seem genuine but not anymore ,I expressed to him that him with no papers can't offer me anything really

Ah, op
I hope your birthday went ok, regardless of this idiot’s antics.

You haven’t seen him in 6 weeks, you’re not in a relationship.