People refusing to participate in group discussions

[TheTealShark]

I've been in training in a new role in the Civil Service for a couple of weeks. It's all being done remotely on Teams currently, there are around 20 of us and we're often put into smaller 'breakout rooms' for discussions which we then have to feedback to the group.

The actual role is a customer service based role involving daily telephony. However im finding that people are being a bit childish and ridiculous in the breakout rooms. They're refusing to participate/feedback to the group as the trainers often ask for a 'spokesperson to feed back.

It's a case of reading out a couple of andwers to the group on teams (and off camera) which takes around 20 seconds.
I heard one woman in the office say 'They're asking for a spokesperson and I'm flat out refusing' . I volunteered to do it.

This morning in another group one woman in our group just said 'Nope, it's not gonna be me.' . I volunteered again and I said to the group 'I don't mind doing it as it's really not a big deal, it's only reading out a couple of things."

I know the answer may be to refuse myself but it feels childish, or maybe the trainers should just nominate a person. I just think they should grow up a bit, they're in a role where they'll have to speak to people daily.

To be frank, they sound pathetic. Especially if speaking on calls is actually a core function in their roles. Bizarre.

Yes, unless they all collectively have some sort of anxiety which i doubt. One of them is very confident on putting in the chat when she's hungry and ready for lunch! I think the trainer should just pick someone so it's fairer.

I’m guessing the trainer is (mistakenly) thinking they’re adults and are capable of figuring out how to take it in turns to be fair to everyone.

They sound dreadful. I don’t envy you. Is this putting you off having to work with these people or will you escape them once the training is over?

Yes I would hope so too. It's insane! As I say they don't even have to do it on camera. Luckily I won't have to work with them at all after training.

As someone who has been on too many training sessions where we had to split into groups and then feed back, I think I'd like to know more about this training. Would you say it is an appropriate and useful tool? I guess I'm cynical but so many of them that I was forced to engage with were a complete waste of time and an insult to the intelligence.
However, it is also possible that this is a good scheme and you're just being teamed up with uncooperative people.

I would apply for a different job. Can you imagine working with that lot? My money is on them going long-term sick as soon as they can

This is incredibly common surely. People are frightened of being judged, they have no confidence in their answers, they fear they are stupid. And then there are those who find the training and format stupid and patronising.

They are being ridiculous. Everyone should take their turn. I have friends who work in the civil service and the amount of people working there who say they are unable to answer the phones because they are too anxious is also ridiculous.

The word anxiety is so massively overused and abused to get out of things people just don't want to do. Putting more pressure on other people. I'm not saying anxiety doesn't exist - of course it does, but it is a serious condition and not a word to just throw around.

Very odd behaviour, I agree. Social anxiety? Bosses present? Fear of being mocked or criticized? I’m wondering about the culture in your organisation.

They aren't even having to give their own answers. They are literally reading from a script the answers that all 7 of us came up with as a group 😅 they are ridiculous.

This sort of shit is always annoying, but I just file it under "Things to feel superior about and make sure gets noticed by my manager".

At university in seminars, I was off one week, then the other students were happy to see me back. "Oh, good. It was rubbish last week because it was just him talking the whole seminar".

Well fucking talk then, dumb dumbs.

I’m naturally introverted and quite shy but always end up being one of the first to “cave” and take my turn in this situation- not wanting to do it just isn’t good enough and a bit pathetic

It is often the biggest moaners that don't speak up about processes etc when they have the opportunity. A bit like people that don't vote but are forever moaning about the state of the country.

I think it is not understood how excruciating it is for some people to talk in front of a group, confidence comes in many disguises and so does lacking confidence

no one should feel they have to and others are always willing to step up and there will always been one that just loves the sound of their own voice

Yes agree that it is pathetic, childish and annoying. But also it doesn’t really matter- they don’t want to feed back and it’s no big deal. Unless they grow and develope they are unlikely to build a career but that’s their problem

if everyone was competent where would us doers get out promotions from? 😂

I have absolutely no problem with opening my mouth (sometimes something that might on a good day be deemed relatively intelligent comes out, too). I also have no problem with encouraging others to speak up, rather than hog attention or totally dominate a discussion.

I fucking hate breakout rooms.

You either get absolute silence, people off on breaks/answering the ten incredibly urgent emails that have come through where the manager is complaining that you aren't responding straight away - or you get one or two people who clearly haven't listened to or learned anything but have decided they're in charge and won't take comments from anybody else. And if what they've decided is the outcome is what is going to be said, I'm not going to be putting my name (or voice) to that.

Absolutely detest this method. As soon as I hear “I’m going to put you into some breakout rooms” my heart sinks at the thought of being dumped in a room with a group of strangers to “discuss”. I always participate reluctantly to get it over with as soon as possible but there are always people that don’t contribute anything. Pop up on the room don’t even say hello or on the other end of the spectrum dominate the entire discussion. Seems like a massive waste of time especially if the people in the room don’t even discuss the question and go off on a tangent about their kids or their holiday or whatever.

‘Breakout rooms’, much like ‘icebreakers’, ‘town halls’, etc etc should be consigned to history.

Send me an email with what I need to know, leave me to read it in peace, and let me get on with my actual work.

That being said, your colleagues sound awful.

Is it being assessed? I’ve done similar online training with the civil service (not a customer service role though) and your level of involvement was part of the assessment. If it’s not being assessed then many people will think it’s irrelevant and will sit back and let others lead everything.

Oh this is so annoying. I had it at uni. I don't like speaking out either but you suck it up and get on with it don't you (disabilities aside where I appreciate it may genuinely be too difficult).

I hate breakout rooms. Just a bunch of people (or black screens) staring gormlessly so I end up talking like a mad person and everyone probably leaves thinking I’m sort of crazy work extrovert, but I just absolutely hate the awkward sitting in silence! My heart sinks when I hear ‘breakout rooms’ cos I know I’ll probably be the only fucker speaking.

Great. It's these bloody fake people who prevented me from getting a job with CS, because they were able to produce all the wanky prescription phrases, self congratulation and dishonest crap about themselves at interview, to make themselves look wonderful. If you're modest, honest, natural and completely being yourself, you don't stand a chance. Bitter? Yes. It's all that's wrong with the interview process. Then you end up with these fucktards who cant actually do the job, like OP describes. Pathetic.

Ive done similar training (not online) and after twice being the spokesperson I told the group I would stand down to give someone else the opportunity. I did not wish to be accused of dominating every group. It was only with great reluctance that someone else stepped up and I had to support them.

The problem with always volunteering is that you can be accused of "loving the sound of your own voice" and unfairly so. This happened to me at uni tutorials with one lecturer who did not like mature students. I told her that its not my fault the others dont bother to do the reading and therefore have nothing to say. However I will absent myself every third week to give all those shy folks space to express themselves. I often wonder if they all sat in silence in the sessions I did not show up.

I can't stand people who don't pull their weight in group work, or refuse to do anything outside of their comfort zone. They are happy to be passengers and let other people do the heavy lifting. Just have to hope your contribution is noted and serves you well.