The driveway drama continues. Neighbours are still driving me insane. What should I do now?

[9champions]

I’m not sure if anyone remembers my last thread, but to save me from explaining the background, I’ll link it here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5482826-neighbour-using-my-drive-landlord-wont-help-what-can-i-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I’m not really looking for opinions on that since we’ve already discussed it. However, I’d like to hear your thoughts on what’s happened since then and what I should do next.

After chatting with the neighbour and her outright refusing to stop, I decided to put up my own fence for some privacy and to stop her from using my driveway. I considered putting down planters, boulders, etc. (which I’ll get to in a minute), but I figured a fence would be a better option since it’s sturdier. It’s not ideal because my driveway is pretty narrow, and the extra cost is frustrating, but their fence is right on the boundary line anyway, so hopefully, it won’t make a big difference, and I’ll still have enough space to get in and out of my car.

I’ve been trying to get someone to come over and give me a quote for the last few weeks, but I’ve been let down a couple of times. Finally, someone is coming this week to have a look. Now, about the planters. I’ve been parking my car there as usual, but somehow she’s still managed to squeeze past. I wanted to put something there while I was away this weekend until the fence was up, so I placed 2 long thin planters there (on my land, not hers). I got home yesterday, and there was a knock on the door. It was her saying she ran over the planters and broke them, offering to pay for a new one, etc. I said no (they were £2.50, so I’m not going to bother asking for that), but isn’t this just ridiculous? The planters were on my drive, so the only reason she hit them was because she drove over my property. She tried to claim she clipped them with her back wheel, but that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t cutting across the drive in the first place. It was honestly like something out of a comedy sketch.

I’d be more sympathetic if this was their only choice, but it’s not. They could:

Take down their fence so he can park the van there instead and put the car on the street to create more space.

Talk to the landlord again about the fence.

Talk to their neighbours and ask them to leave more room on the road for the van.

Move the van when she needs to go out or come back home.

They’re opting for the easiest, most convenient solution, even if it means damaging someone else's property. It just reaches a point where it becomes bone idle.

So what should I do now? Continue with the fence and hope she doesn’t crash into it or damage it? I can let the planter go, but not a fence. I’ve already asked her nicely, and she made excuses. I’ve put obstacles in her way, and she’s just driven over them. So what else can I do? Should I really have to go through all this trouble to stop someone from using my property?

What’s even more confusing is that she says she can’t get out of her car on the side of the fence because there isn’t enough space, so she has to pull onto the driveway instead of reversing and driving off in a straight line. But her partner was in the passenger seat yesterday and got out on that side just fine, so there’s clearly enough room. I think she’s just a bad / lazy driver and doesn’t want to reverse on.

Before anyone says it’s not causing any damage, I don’t care. It’s my property, and I don’t want them using it. If it was now and again, that would be different, but not every day, multiple times a day. They've been dicks and unhelpful in the past, so no, I don't feel like helping them out either.

I don’t touch anything that isn’t mine, not do I drive over other people’s drives, so you don’t need to worry about my upbringing, and you’ll be relieved to know that I’m neither entitled or rude. My parents brought me up to live alongside other people and to be kind, and not to cause someone else a difficulty because I’m possessive and simply because I can. I do, however, think it’s not worth getting het up about or start two threads and expect a landlord to get involved, when the obvious answer of building a divide has been there all along.

Your neighbour offered to replace the planters, so that doesn’t really fit the narrative that they’re rude or entitled. I’m sorry that I’m a vile and pathetic person for not clutching my pearls that your £3 planters - that you purposely put there in the hope that they got damaged - got damaged. I’m sure it actually gave you something to be happy about.

Spend the money, build the wall, find the next thing to fret about.

It’s hardly a difficult situation, there’s been an obvious outcome since the first thread. Sorry that I can’t muster up empathy over someone clipping the corner of a drive causing masses of anxiety. I’ll read and reply to what I want though thanks.

Aye, well, you might want to dial the tone down a bit because you are coming across as aggressive and unpleasant.

My son has a double driveway and so do all of the neighbours
but they all have a double stacked bricks to separate the drives so no one can drive across and it makes a clear boundary of the driveways

Why didn’t you accept the money she offered to pay for damage she caused?

Disagree about the aggressive, but noted on the unpleasant.

I didn’t place the planters there for them to get wrecked. What a stupid thing to say. Do you know how ridiculous you sound? I put them there because I wanted some privacy on my property and for people to stop trespassing. Did I think she would drive over them and damage them? No, of course not, because, they were on MY property. And while she did offer to buy a new one, this wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t been using my driveway in the first place. It’s entirely her fault, not mine. I should be able to put whatever I want on my own land without having to justify its presence or worry about someone damaging it. Why? Because it’s on MY property. What’s so hard to understand about that?

Also, you keep saying that I’m making it hard for her to park. Am I blocking her driveway? No. Am I putting stuff on her property? No. She still has access to her driveway; she just needs to do one of the following things (I’ll say it again since you clearly can’t read):

Take down HER fence so she can park the van there instead and put the car on the street to create more space.

Talk to the landlord about the fence.

Talk to HER neighbours and ask them to leave more room on the road for the van.

Move the van when she needs to go out or come back home.

So the only person making it difficult for her to park, is her, not me. They are LAZY, selfish, and entitled. It’s as simple as that. You can insist that you’re not entitled or rude all you want, but the reality is that you think it’s okay to use someone else’s property without permission, and if that person says no, then they’re “unhinged” or not a kind neighbour. You are, indeed, entitled.

HTH

Her driving over your boundary feature and breaking it is a reportable accident. It is also possibly driving without due care, for which she might get 3 points on her license.

A camera should have been your first purchase and if I were you I'd get one immediately.

@9champions I had a look at the cost of concrete planters as Im looking for some new ones, and they’re not nearly as expensive as I’d expected. There are quite a few really cheap ones on eBay, and they would be so much cheaper and easier than getting a fence put up.

In anticipation of your fence being installed you could dig out a foot square of the gravel strip at the end of the driveway, then put a few garden canes around the hole to stop people falling into the hole.
If she drives over that she’ll drop a wheel into the hole and beach/damage her own car and you have plausible deniability that you were just helping the fence builders make a start.

😂 Build a wall. Accept that you can’t force her to do any of the things you’ve listed. Enjoy the (temporary) headspace. HTH.

Oh, I definitely will be! And let’s just hope she doesn’t crash into it since she’s such a terrible driver. I guess that’ll be my fault too, huh? You know, because I shouldn’t put things on my own property and should keep it open for anyone and everyone to use, obviously. I can’t make her do any of that, you’re right, but I shouldn’t have to pay to put up barriers either, especially when I’ve asked nicely. Like I said, entitled people. You included. Hope your parents are proud 😘 Love and light xoxo

I can’t believe there are some people here who are suggesting you should just allow the neighbour to continue driving across your driveway, especially when you’ve asked her to stop doing it! They’re most probably cheeky fuckers themselves, or wet blankets who let people walk all over them.
It is your drive and you don’t want her to drive over it. End of.
You are not the one who is making this difficult for her, her other neighbour is and she just needs to have a quick word with them.
We have CF parking neighbours too. They’ve got a pretty long driveway - easily long enough for two cars but he kept parking half over our driveway. My DH doesn’t come home from work until 10pm so he just kept knocking on their door telling them to move. CFer neighbour said it was his other neighbour’s fault because they parked their two vans outside his house. DH bluntly told him that that wasn’t his problem and CFer should sort it out. He doesn’t very often block our drive anymore! His even more so CFer BIL (he semi lives there) still does occasionally, even though they have a long driveway! Grrrr!

You’re so hilarious. Of course my parents are proud of me, what a weird thing to bring up on a thread about someone clipping a driveway, as if my parents should be ashamed of the person I am or all my successes simply because I don’t think it’s a big deal - which in the grand scheme of things, it really isn’t. Please don't think I’m leaving here feeling shamed that I’m an entitled person, as I know I’m not. What have I done that’s entitled?

No, if she crashes into the wall then obviously she’s the one at fault.

You think it's fine for someone to use another person's property without their permission.

You think it's acceptable for someone to use someone else's property even after they've been told not to.

You feel that a person shouldn't have the right to do what they want on their own property, and if they do, it's okay for someone else to damage it.

If you think all of this is acceptable, then you must be exactly the same. ENTITLED.

Let’s just be clear. It’s perfectly fine for her to damage my planters (on my property), but not okay for her to damage a fence (also, on my property). Make up your fucking mind 😂

This is where we need the laughing emoji back as your responses are laughable

I don’t think I’ve said she’s actually allowed to use your property or that it’s ok for her to damage stuff on it, but you’ve already pointed out that I have difficulties reading. I’ve mostly repeated that it’s not worth getting bothered about. She can be cheeky and you can be petty, two things can be true. You’ve got a solution, yet you’re still upset that they’re not doing what you’re telling them to do. Build a wall.

Maybe I do, as I’m not seeing an extreme reaction at all. Not from me anyways. I don’t think I’m the one swearing or saying someone is vile for not seeing an issue with a cut corner.

You’ll be pleased to know my train journey is nearly over though, so I’ve got less time on my hands now.

I’d definitely sign your petition for bringing back the laughing emoji!

Do you think the fairies build walls? That the council are giving them away for free or that the OP will build it in the evenings and weekends with bricks she's got lying about?

Why the hell should the OP fork out a small fortune for masonry work, or plant pots or fences or concrete bollards simply because the neighbour - who has been told already - won't adjust her behaviour of trespassing on private property and causing damage.

The neighbour is behaving wildly unreasonably and it seems the majority of people think so. Yet, because you're so laid back you're horizontal, apparently it's a storm in a teacup and everyone else should bend themselves in knots so that the neighbour isn't inconvenienced at all. Get a grip 🙄

Why don't you drive on other peoples driveways? You seem to think OP is being unreasonable to not want her neighbour to, so surely you think it's ok, so why don't you do it?

It infuriates me when people don't understand why some of us don't like it when people drive on our drives. Not someone who is parking there as they are coming to visit, just driving over it because they can't do a three point turn in the road like the rest of the world can.

What if as the OPs neighbour was about to drive across her drive OPs child/dog or cat ran out and the neighbour then hit the dog/child/cat with their car. We teach our kids to be careful out on the public footpaths, but we feel we don't need to worry as much about them being on our own front drive. It's an accident that shouldn't ever happen as we don't drive on other peoples drives!

@9champions I would build the fence, or wall of you want to stretch to it, and put a gate across your driveway, completely enclosing your front garden, and then there is no way your lazy neighbour can drive across again, and if they somehow manage to damage it, then they really shouldn't be driving at all.

Why am I being called petty for not wanting someone to use my property? You do know I didn’t purchase a house with a shared driveway, right? I bought a house with a private driveway. If I had chosen a house with a shared drive, the value would be significantly lower, and everyone would have to pitch in for maintenance and repairs.

So, can I come over and hang out in your back garden later? If you say no, that’s not really kind or neighbourly, is it? It wouldn’t bother you if I just sat there with a glass of wine. I promise I’ll keep it down! Let me know what time I can come round 😊

You called me unhinged. I’d say that’s worse 🤣

Ok, I’ll apologise for the unhinged.

And you’re welcome round with your glass of wine. It’s lovely and sunny and I have a great view.

I genuinely think somw posters here would only be happy if the OP said that she actually sold her own car so that the nasty NDN can park her car and van fully across her driveway. @9champions You should probably also have the NDN dinner ready for her when she comes home every night and then draw her a lively bubble bath.

😂 The word unhinged is hilarious in the context of: I'm going to put a fence up on my property - oh that's unhinged 😂 What 😂