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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The driveway drama continues. Neighbours are still driving me insane. What should I do now?

334 replies

9champions · 16/02/2026 11:14

I’m not sure if anyone remembers my last thread, but to save me from explaining the background, I’ll link it here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5482826-neighbour-using-my-drive-landlord-wont-help-what-can-i-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I’m not really looking for opinions on that since we’ve already discussed it. However, I’d like to hear your thoughts on what’s happened since then and what I should do next.

After chatting with the neighbour and her outright refusing to stop, I decided to put up my own fence for some privacy and to stop her from using my driveway. I considered putting down planters, boulders, etc. (which I’ll get to in a minute), but I figured a fence would be a better option since it’s sturdier. It’s not ideal because my driveway is pretty narrow, and the extra cost is frustrating, but their fence is right on the boundary line anyway, so hopefully, it won’t make a big difference, and I’ll still have enough space to get in and out of my car.

I’ve been trying to get someone to come over and give me a quote for the last few weeks, but I’ve been let down a couple of times. Finally, someone is coming this week to have a look. Now, about the planters. I’ve been parking my car there as usual, but somehow she’s still managed to squeeze past. I wanted to put something there while I was away this weekend until the fence was up, so I placed 2 long thin planters there (on my land, not hers). I got home yesterday, and there was a knock on the door. It was her saying she ran over the planters and broke them, offering to pay for a new one, etc. I said no (they were £2.50, so I’m not going to bother asking for that), but isn’t this just ridiculous? The planters were on my drive, so the only reason she hit them was because she drove over my property. She tried to claim she clipped them with her back wheel, but that wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t cutting across the drive in the first place. It was honestly like something out of a comedy sketch.

I’d be more sympathetic if this was their only choice, but it’s not. They could:

Take down their fence so he can park the van there instead and put the car on the street to create more space.

Talk to the landlord again about the fence.

Talk to their neighbours and ask them to leave more room on the road for the van.

Move the van when she needs to go out or come back home.

They’re opting for the easiest, most convenient solution, even if it means damaging someone else's property. It just reaches a point where it becomes bone idle.

So what should I do now? Continue with the fence and hope she doesn’t crash into it or damage it? I can let the planter go, but not a fence. I’ve already asked her nicely, and she made excuses. I’ve put obstacles in her way, and she’s just driven over them. So what else can I do? Should I really have to go through all this trouble to stop someone from using my property?

What’s even more confusing is that she says she can’t get out of her car on the side of the fence because there isn’t enough space, so she has to pull onto the driveway instead of reversing and driving off in a straight line. But her partner was in the passenger seat yesterday and got out on that side just fine, so there’s clearly enough room. I think she’s just a bad / lazy driver and doesn’t want to reverse on.

Before anyone says it’s not causing any damage, I don’t care. It’s my property, and I don’t want them using it. If it was now and again, that would be different, but not every day, multiple times a day. They've been dicks and unhelpful in the past, so no, I don't feel like helping them out either.

Neighbour using my drive, landlord won’t help. What can I do? | Mumsnet

I’ve lived in my house for almost 4 years now, and I had a new drive put in last year, which cost a fair bit. Parking on my street isn’t great anyway,...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5482826-neighbour-using-my-drive-landlord-wont-help-what-can-i-do?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:39

seaviewlassy · 16/02/2026 13:28

I could not get worked up about this! Do you think she's going to wear the drive down or something? Seems like such a non issue!

Exactly this. Surely it would be cheaper, easier and far less stressful just to let it go??

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/02/2026 13:40

Why were you so nice to her about it? She's caused criminal damage. That was your perfect opportunity to tell her she MUST STOP crossing your driveway immediately.

She WILL break your fence too.

You need to be VERY firm with her.

Fuzzybear22 · 16/02/2026 13:40

seaviewlassy · 16/02/2026 13:28

I could not get worked up about this! Do you think she's going to wear the drive down or something? Seems like such a non issue!

I agree

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/02/2026 13:41

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:39

Exactly this. Surely it would be cheaper, easier and far less stressful just to let it go??

Wear and tear on driveways, particularly with the neighbour dry steering on it as she does, causes a lot of damage which is very costly to fix.

9champions · 16/02/2026 13:42

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:39

Exactly this. Surely it would be cheaper, easier and far less stressful just to let it go??

Cheaper, easier, and less stressful, for who?

Anyway, I've made up my mind and I'm not going to change how I feel about this. I don’t want them using my property, and I have every right to say no and I don’t have to give a reason why. You and the other posters can call it petty if you want. But it's a lot easier to say that when it's not your property getting used or damaged all the time.

OP posts:
lessglittermoremud · 16/02/2026 13:42

I would abandon the fence and get some old granite troughs, the type you pick up in reclamation yards.
They used to be water troughs for animals and are so heavy it took 2 strong men to move ours into place. You can get them in a variety of widths as handmade, they look beautiful when planted out but if she hits one with her car, it isn’t going to damage anything bar her car.
You can get some with some height to them, they soon discourage her and they can’t easily be moved out the way.

DinoLil · 16/02/2026 13:42

You need those stinger strips the police throw down, she won't drive over that!!

Muffinmam · 16/02/2026 13:46

You put road spikes in your driveway.

That’s what you do.

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:46

9champions · 16/02/2026 13:42

Cheaper, easier, and less stressful, for who?

Anyway, I've made up my mind and I'm not going to change how I feel about this. I don’t want them using my property, and I have every right to say no and I don’t have to give a reason why. You and the other posters can call it petty if you want. But it's a lot easier to say that when it's not your property getting used or damaged all the time.

Edited

You!

MissPobjoysPonies · 16/02/2026 13:46

Can you put in a chain link fence to the boundary line? Just as a started, metal posts concreted in but narrow? I know painful but I can see how this would be more than irritating.

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:47

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/02/2026 13:41

Wear and tear on driveways, particularly with the neighbour dry steering on it as she does, causes a lot of damage which is very costly to fix.

Less than fences, planters etc.

Anonanonanonagain · 16/02/2026 13:49

I fully agree with you OP and hope you get sorted soon. The amount of people on here that just let people walk all over them is the reason so many others are so entitled.

9champions · 16/02/2026 13:49

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:46

You!

Why do you think they have the right to use my property?

OP posts:
9champions · 16/02/2026 13:52

MrsJeanLuc · 16/02/2026 13:23

This.

Crazy not to take money from her for that. You have given her the message that it's ok to drive over your drive AND that she doesn't have to pay for any damage she does!

Looking back, I really wish I had accepted her offer, just to teach her a lesson, but it felt a bit wierd to take £2-£3 from someone.

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 16/02/2026 13:53

I haven't read the other thread but have you sweetly suggested a couple of driving lessons with a focus on reversing skills? Maybe give her the number of a reliable local driving instructor ...

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:53

9champions · 16/02/2026 13:49

Why do you think they have the right to use my property?

They don't, but driving across your driveway is hardly equivalent to squatting in your lounge!
Let it go, you'll be happier for it.

Noshowlomo · 16/02/2026 13:54

They’re basically taking their problems and making it OPs issue when they have numerous other options that they are too lazy to implement. That’s why OP is pissed off!

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 16/02/2026 13:55

ZookeeperSE · 16/02/2026 11:29

Make sure it’s a fence with concrete posts and base boards and then if she does hit it her car will come off worse than your fence.

Absolutely this. It does sound as though she's a not very skilled driver.

9champions · 16/02/2026 13:56

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 16/02/2026 13:53

They don't, but driving across your driveway is hardly equivalent to squatting in your lounge!
Let it go, you'll be happier for it.

You don’t know me very well! I won’t be!

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 16/02/2026 13:56

The only thing you can do is keep paying for stuff to put on the driveway to block her.

Do you really think this is all worth it?

I still think you are making a ginormous mountain out of a tiny ant hill and causing yourself completely unwarranted stress and cost.

Parsleyforme · 16/02/2026 13:56

I like the look and idea of lead or concrete troughs. They will be heavy when planted up but there is the possibility she or her husband may be able to drag them out the way in a rage as that is much easier to do than lifting. It would be much less expensive than a fence, but the fence has the added bonus that you won’t have to see her dirty looks if you get one high enough.

I don’t agree with others saying they couldn’t get worked up about this. It’s OP’s property, where she has paid for a driveway, and the neighbour is so cheeky that she is dry steering and driving over a bed of stones just to avoid having to park normally. If the neighbour was a good friend and/or asked nicely with a good reason, then maybe I would let it slide. But if I’d paid thousands for a drive designed to be driven on and off of and the neighbour felt she was entitled to do whatever she wanted, then I’d be equally annoyed as OP

9champions · 16/02/2026 14:00

Noshowlomo · 16/02/2026 13:54

They’re basically taking their problems and making it OPs issue when they have numerous other options that they are too lazy to implement. That’s why OP is pissed off!

Absolutely! This is it! They're incredibly lazy, I can't even put it into words. They’ve chosen to do anything, including damaging my things, instead of fixing their parking issues! And when I politely asked them to stop, they just kept going and ended up damaging my property. They are fucking bone idle!!

OP posts:
HollyHoly · 16/02/2026 14:01

I agree with PPs. A low brick wall or concrete planters. She seems unreasonable enough to cause damage to your fence and then you would have the grief of claiming the costs off her. You need something immovable.

Mumofoneandone · 16/02/2026 14:01

I'd be tempted to contact their landlord to let them know that their tenants are being inconsiderate of their neighbours and property. There's usually something in the letting contract that would cover this.
Go ahead with your plans to fence your property - anything to add reinforcement would also be useful. It may stop her because there's a risk she'll damage her own car. Make it clear that you will pursue her for any damage.
Report to the DVLA about concerns about her fitness to drive.....
She is completely out of order.

Whattodo1610 · 16/02/2026 14:02

Flowerlovinglady · 16/02/2026 13:22

You can do all this stuff but presumably they might make your life more difficult (large planters/fences blocking your drive?). If you get into a dispute with her involving demands for payment, be aware that you may well have to declare that when you sell. It is infuriating though for you - I'm dealing with something my neighbour is doing that is impacting us and she won't stop it either so I get where you're coming from - just saying this because a lot of people who maybe haven't sold a house in a while are unaware of this.

You only have to declare anything that has been officially reported ie to police/council, or has been formally written about to neighbours.