To be irritated on here when suggestions are phrased as commands?

[mssneezealot]

It’s so bossy. The suggestion may or may not be helpful but it’s the way it’s put.

’I’m struggling with how to keep my children entertained this half term as the weather is so bad - they are four and six, any ideas? We don’t have much money.’

’Have you got waterproofs? They might just enjoy going out anyway.’ is fine.

’Wellies and waterproofs. Get outside.’ pisses me off!

Or is it just me? There’s definitely some bossy posters here!

YANBU. I tend to think it's people who no one listens to in real life so they act like this on Mumsnet.

It's the internet. You don't have to do anything just because someone else tells you..if someone said the latter to me, I'd take it as what they would do; not a command.

I don't take commands from anyone whether they intend to give them or not.

So I would likely phrase suggestions as above to convey passion rather than a command to the poster, as that's just odd.

I think it goes both ways.

‘Suggest me some baby names’.

Um..no.

I think it's just you.

Both are reasonable answers to the question. One is more "flowery" which I guess is what you actually mean. The second is only bossy, if you interpret it that way.

It's the internet. You don't have to do anything just because someone else tells you

Thank you for this powerful, revolutionary insight

Obviously. I can still dislike the delivery, though. I don’t have to open a letter because the postman banged my door down but I can still be pissed off about that.

Ignore it then... I mean I guess YANBU to be pissed off but seems like a waste of energy tbh.

Yes, it does.

I also hate it when people start quibbling about some insignificant thing in a post, like ‘and I was nearly in tears at the state of the place and the fact DH had done nothing and the children weren’t even in the bath and the sink was filled with washing up’ ‘why don’t you get a dishwasher’ - oh bog off!

You can't dictate "style" on a social media forum though. For every person who prefers the conversational, gentle explanation, there will be someone else who just wants the suggestions with no extraneous words.

Sometimes a poster can be so wishy washy and suffer so much from their own frustrating inaction I can see why some post that way

It's definitely you!

Try reading it as "Wellies and waterproofs? Get outside!"
Does it now sound better in your head?

Some people genuinely do speak that way and there's no ill intent behind it. My oldest friend has the same manner. She has genuinely dragged me through some horrendous periods of my life and her advice/support is always extremely blunt, drill sergeant style. It's probably easier to take when you know the person in real life though and trust they have your best interests at heart. Not so much online.

To be honest, if you don’t mind me saying, after all you did ask and it might be helpful, you are a bit touchy.

have you tried HRT

I’m autistic and can be blunt in my delivery. I mean well, and I hope that would be understood (I’ve taken the time to read a post and reply with a suggestion after all)

I hate any post that starts with ‘Surely…’
’Surely you’ve tried…’ or ‘What happened when…’,
‘What happened when you asked them’ or ‘What happened when you did this, that or the other’.
It’s obvious from the post that these things haven’t happened, they just make the OP feel stupid.

Though, thinking about this, you must go through life in a constant state of irritation!

"Call 0800 123456 now!"

"Clean your hard floors in seconds."

"Take care of your loved ones. Get a life insurance quote from us."

"Stand on the right. Walk on the left."

"Stop"

How on earth do you cope?!

IMO it's very strange, bordering on pathological, to react the way you are reacting to this style of comment. Do you have traits of PDA generally?

Me too! 🤣

@ClaudiasDreadfulEyeliner what? Is that a joke? Sorry if it is and I missed it!

Well, those things are a bit different.

I mean, you’re saying it’s definitely just me, but have a quick look at the poll 👍🏻 it isn’t! People are allowed to dislike something, it doesn’t mean I’m charging around beating my chest in blind fury every time an advert comes on. But FYI ‘how do you cope?’ and making out a person is deranged because they’ve expressed a view is a bit of a shitty thing to do.

I sort of get what you mean on some threads but I think your example is a bad one - threads where people have asked for suggestions are perfect for short imperatives imo! Can you imagine if we all had to reply to such threads with flowery hedges every other word -

What about a walk in the park?
Have you tried feeding the ducks?
Maybe you have a museum near you?

Who has time for that 😂

Oh yes, and moralising titles “asking” you to do things.
AIBU to ask you to save the planet by buying an electric car?
AIBU to ask you not to stroke my dog?

I think that the example you give is just a kind of shorthand rather than bossy. I can't be arsed typing out a load of pleasantries.

I think the posters who post in that style are all ex head girls. Or school governors:D

The only one that's a bit different is "Stop" as that's presumably a law. The others are all the same as what you're complaining about - recommendations framed as commands. We all know we're free to dismiss them, take them under consideration, or follow the advice.

However, your very serious reaction to my asking how on earth you cope tells me that you have an extremely thin skin and assume the negative. I might tentatively suggest a little walk outside or a mug of hot chocolate, if you feel like chilling out a tiny bit.

Yes - I saw one this morning asking people not to drop litter or something and I thought ‘yeah course the people who do are going to go on and justify it!’ It’s just so everyone can agree the litter droppers are dirty, nasty people ergo they are good, clean people!

Ah, this is cathartic!

@GarlicBound given that you saw a poll in which over 70% agreed with me then came on to loftily announce ‘it’s definitely just you!’ tells me you ARE a bossy poster, add to that self righteous and annoying. Quit trying to diagnose me I’m not reacting seriously to anything other than avoiding the hoovering 🤣