All at once!

[UkNorthNikki]

I've been with my partner for 10+ years. We have been renting for a while and with the help of family, we have been lucky enough to put a deposit on a house and get a mortgage.
The thing is, I am in my late 30s and feel time is not on my side regarding having a baby. ( Which I want)
I'm just really struggling with the thought of having a baby, trying to hold down a job and pay for a mortgage. The thought is so overwhelming. We have the help of his side of the family but they also all work. I just don't know how it will all work out!? We are not well off, we don't have savings and we have managed to get this mortgage but the skin of our teeth. My family live in london so I don't get to see them much. We don't drive also. I have so so many doubts, it's so exhausting. I would just any other views on my situation, any one going through the same or gone through similar?! It's all come at once in my life and I feel like I can't put the breaks on!

Are you TTC?
owning a home is a big long term plus - do you know if your work offers enhanced maternity pay for example? Late 30’s you need to be thinking about baby stuff now
if you and your husband both have regular 9-5 office jobs it can be easier to find childcare such as nurseries or childminders for example

Are you married?
It's worth doing that next before you TTC just to put yourself in a safer position should things go wrong between you both later down the line & post-kids.

Sounds old fashioned but a quick look around some of the regular threads on this board can tell you how much of a difference it can make.

Hey, thanks for the advice. No we are not married. That's another thing 'on the list!!'
Also I am not TTC ATM. It's just so confusing on what to do next and like I said with time not on my side it's so worrying :s

Hi. No I am not TTC ATM, it's too much to think about. Also we are not married, we have been engaged for about 4 years but with everything becoming so expensive I am unsure if it will ever happen! We are both in standard 9 - 5 jobs

Are you generally anxious about things?

Babies just slot in really if it's something you both want then I would start ttc and planning a registry office wedding. Think you need go prioritise, no point having a big do when you've been engaged ages and have a house now, so just do parents only for a nice meal after.

Really should drive so maybe that's something you book in now - an intensive driving course

Put simply if you are sure you want a baby then just get on with it, as others have said get married first.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't. Who isn't anxious these days about life .....

If you know you definitely want kids and you’re in your late 30s I’d get on with TTC, it will likely take a few cycles.
Babies will fit in to your life. You’re buying a home, have a partner (who I assume wants a baby too), and jobs so you’re in a good position. Have a look at your work maternity policy to see how your finances would work out.
Pregnancy is 9 months so you have time for a simple wedding before the baby comes.
Childcare will work out - you will have maternity leave so time to arrange things or explore whether you and/or DP can adjust your work schedules.

Just have a simple wedding at a registry office as a pp suggested. You can always have a fancy vow renewal/wedding party at a later date.
You say you have been engaged 4 years now so you might as well bite the bullet & just do it.

Then TTC could be something you start by stopping contraception & just seeing what happens at first if you feel anxious about it.
People sometimes announce they are "trying for a baby" or make a big thing about it but that just piles on unnecessary pressure & can be stressful.

Discuss a simple wedding with your fiancée as a first step & then consider gentle steps towards conceiving.

Try not to worry so much, as a pp also said, you are in a good position & there's no reason to assume things won't work out just the way you would like them to.
You have got this!

Have a low key wedding - this gives vital legal and financial
protections
Start to look at childcare options now
you have to take control and initiative or you’ll lose another year or two worrying / being inactive

Getting married costs next to nothing. Put on your best clothes and get to the registry office.

Ps I see from reading your first post again that you are wondering whether now is good time for a baby. I would say at your age then, yes, if it's something you really want, you should be starting to make steps towards getting pregnant in the next year or two.

If you're worried about not having savings maybe make a concerted effort to put some aside now and wait a year before trying to have a baby
You get still get married cheaply in that time