being fed up of endless invites to tea for DCs

[jellybeans]

Hi I have twin 5 yo DSs. There are two parents who 'mither' constantly if they can come and play with their kids and have tea. Minimum is once a week and sometimes more. I think it is too much as they have other friends and activities and DH works odd hours so likes to see them as much as poss, once a fortnight to a month would be enough with us having their DC in between. One
even said what about a sleepover, but it is too young for me.

My DTs were developmentally delayed and are a year younger than one of their friends. I find having twins they can get very boistrous and while I can relax with other parents who are abit overprotective like me and watch their kids, these two mums are very laid back and let their kids play out unsupervised etc but they are good parents and friends, just different (I just don't want my kids playing out etc). I am abit overprotective, worse since I lost my DDs late in pregnancy as I am scared of things happening to DC. I don't mind them going to peoples houses and appreciate the invites but would rather it wasn't so often. AIBU?

YANBU. My daughter who's almost 10 keeps getting invites from two of her friends. These parents are happy for their dc's to cycle around by themselves, call at people's houses + generally go where they want in the village, trusting them to be back at a certain time.

Although my daughter's out a lot, she's never unsupervised. (She's bright but I don't really trust her road sense on bikes, etc!)

I've now had to speak to one of the parents, who I know thinks we're over-protective, on what she's allowed to do + what she isn't.

Obviously when these children come to us they question our rules, + can't see why I go with them if they go to the shop to buy sweets or to the park. We've just told them
it's different rules for different houses, don't think they liked it but I'd rather be safe than sorry when looking after other people's dc's!

YANBU - I only do back for tea's once a term!!! Every week - you have got to be kidding!

Mind you I do CM after school, so ALWAYS have a house-full of kids, but at least i am getting paid

Puzzled by this - Why on earth wouldn't you want your children to be with their friends as often as possible? I love having people for tea and dcs go ot to tea a lot. Can't see the problem!

Thanks for replies. Sorry if was confusing, I mean they get invited to go to these houses all the time. I only invite people here every couple of weeks or so as am so busy with my 4. I don't mind them going to friends at all but it seems too much once a week or more just for these particular friends when they see each other all day at school. I can't relax when they are at them as the parents are very laid back and their kids play out unsupervised etc. With some of their other friends I can relax as I know they are more like me and watch them and don't let them out on the street etc.

it is easier as they get older-and the formality goes...kids just turn up on doorstep...and get sent home at tea time!

We often have 9 (including my 3) in the house...and sometimes i am happy for them to be there till teatime- sometimes i cannot stand the noise- so at that point they all have to go!

I do get annoyed when a child says 'ah...my mum said i had to be home at 6...not 5'...and i say 'well, you're all being too noisey...off you go now'...and then the child says...'but mum's gone to asda'...and i realise that i have been used as 'free after school club'

YANBU...i used to dread the 'Can so'n'so come round to play' question at hometime....and then though great when mine got invited to others...i then felt obliged to do the return invite!!!

growing up my friends and i were constantly at eat others houses. i wonder if the problem is that you simply do not like them too much. which is fine. everybody can't like everybody. my friends neighbour is our age group and sort of hangs around when we are at the house and she is pregnant and already i am tired of the baby talk and dreading what the future holds in wanting play dates... it's painful to hold a conversation with this woman.

I think it is lovely to get lots of invites and to have DCs back for tea. I would see not getting invites as being a problem.

YANBU - if you're busy with other stuff just say you're busy!

I'm a once a term playdate mum too!!!!!!!

Thanks
I do appreciate them being invited but it is just too often them going more than once a week to the same people's houses.

YANBU I have the same problem, life is busy doing other things, which sometimes means chilling out at home as a family, or it could be doing other things, the point is I don't want someone else's child round every week - once a month is fine - I think once you start something like that how to do you get out of it? There is plenty of time for them to live in one another's pockets .. they are only young once. You are still being sociable and as you say, they see each other all day at school! My DD is 4 and I'd definitely not let her out unsupervised - my other DD is 7 and she is the same - no way. Your house, your rules, your children, your rules. If something happens then its not THEIR child but yours. So safety wise, stick by your guns. As for the invites, I make sure its only once a month - eldest DD goes to a friends house once a month and we have a friend round for a play once a month, which works out that she is doing something with a friend every 2 weeks - more than enough !!!!!