Have I forced things?

[Prendetew]

We live in the UK. DH from another country. Let's says it's Portugal, (details changed to not be outing).

We live in quite a rural area but there are various Portuguese speakers dotted around the area and in next county. There were already a few niche whatssapp groups - Portuguese speakers who play a particular sport for example. I speak Portuguese and want our young DC to learn the language also.

I thought it would be good idea to create a broader WhatsApp group to bring all the speakers in the area together so DC can meet other families, we can socialise more etc. Dh was also an admin and organiser along with another friend. The idea was anyone is the Whatssap could suggest plans and events and people would join up and it could be a focal point - many others have DC that they want to learn the language too

I created the group about a year ago and we had over 50 members. At the start I made a real effort to organise events, even a big bbq last summer attended by over 40 people. That event felt like we'd really brought community together and it would be a catalyst for others to organise things. People came up to me to tell me how much they enjoyed it and when was next event.

The groups been pretty quiet since. I've had to take a step back as work/ life got busy. Plus it's winter and the usual walks/ bbq plans not possible.

I feel like unless I organise stuff no one really bothers. Maybe I've tried to force things too much, although I had good intentions. I'm not even Portuguese myself so its not really my place, I was just trying to galvanise the community a bit as it was so scattered and were still quite new to the area and don't have loads of friends. Dh isn't that bothered at this point, he's disappointed that others haven't really made an effort

Should I just step back from group admin stuff and give up? Maybe delete the group? We've lost 4 members in past two weeks as it's so quiet but I don't have the energy or enthusiasm anymore to try and make it a success

Some people just rely on others to organise unfortunately! If it wasn't for my sister we would never have any family get togethers. It's just the way it is. It doesn't mean if you suggest something on the group that the others won't jump at the idea. Some people just don't like to put themselves out there, so it's usually left to the type A personalities.

Maybe post you are looking forward to next event does anyone have any ideas?

Don't delete the group as that will make you look childish and sulky.

Just explain to the others what you've said here and ask if anyone wants to take over and/or if others can contribute more.

I think the time of year will have had a lot to do with the quiet as you’ve said: it’s more difficult to get a big group together in the pub or someone’s house than to announce an impromptu garden barbecue or picnic in the summer. Deleting the group would be churlish. If DH would like people to make an effort then as previous posters have said, as the days begin to get longer and warmer he can just drop a message in saying “would be great to get together again now it’s nicer out there - any suggestions welcome” or “we plan to be at the Red Lion in Townsville for their pub quiz next Wednesday - if anyone wants to form a team feel free to join us” or whatever. You don’t need to actively play host.

I think it sounds lovely!

If 40 out of 50 members showed up to the BBQ, and people told you that they enjoyed it, it sounds like a success.

Don't delete the WhatsApp group.
Like a previous poster mentioned, it's a time of the year when it's a bit more tricky to organise a meet up.
Soon it will be spring and summer!

What @ComtesseDeSpair said. No need to actively play host and organise things, just use the group to alert people about things going on they might be interested in attending, or flag up things you're doing and say it would be nice to meet other Portugese speakers there etc.