To feel pissed off?

[Stressedoutmummyof3]

This weekend has emotionally destroyed me. Yesterday DH said he wanted to listen to local football game upstairs. No problem he does that most Saturdays. Then that he wanted to watch FA on TV afterwards. I was a bit annoyed because looking after DS is so full on due to his additional needs and I was feeling emotional anyway but I just went with it. Only on the agreement he looked after DS today. I wanted to visit my dad as today is the one year anniversary of my mum dying.
He said okay but this morning changed his mind because he thought it was best for DS to get out of the house. Because I really wanted to see my dad I just took DS with me.
I've not had a break all weekend. I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't half term week now. So no break all next week either.
I adore DS but his needs are so high that I really need a break on the weekend if I'm not going to get one in the week.
Currently sitting watching DS in the bath and wondering how it came to this.
AIBU to feel emotionally wrecked and pissed off?

I’d be furious - why does he get the whole weekend to do what he wants and you get nothing? I’m assuming he wasn’t using the time you were out to buy the groceries, meal prep and clean the bathroom….

I would have told him he's got DS today and yes, it would be good for them both to get out of the house. Then I would have gone to see my dad.

Is there any reason that you didn't stand up for yourself and tell him he had to stick to the agreement? You don't get any points in this life for being a martyr, you have to prioritise your own needs too, or you'll burn out.

I didn't push it because it would've just lead to a massive row and I didn't have the energy for it.
I've barely slept this last week and just thought I'd go with what was easiest. Also DS would pick up on the row (but not understand it) and he would most likely react to the stress by having a meltdown.
@Applespearsandpeaches I wish he had spent the time doing something helpful but he didn't!

Yes he should have had DS but I am not sure why you didn't say this when he said about DS needing to get out the house. You should have made some comment about Great idea why don't you go to .... And left it at that.

To answer your question, YANBU to feel pissed off about this.
My question to you, is will you do anything differently in future so you don't have to feel this way again?
I think you need to have a frank conversation with your DH about how exhausting it is to look after DS, and that you need a few hours every weekend to recharge. Then make sure those few hours are set in stone.

No, you should absolutely be pissed off, but you should also be pissed off with yourself.
Who gives a fuck if it results in a row? He does this to condition you to behave how he wants. Fuck that.
Next time you leave DS with him and have the fucking row.
He's taking the piss and you're letting him

I'm sorry you are having to live this way. It must be hard.

He must know how rows affect your child so him ever kicking off in front of your child is really shitty behaviour. He is willing to deeply distress his child in order to manipulate you. He doesn't care who he hurts so long as he gets his own way.

You could discuss this with him, but he already knows what he's doing. You could think of counter tactics, but they would likely be met with another row. This is who he is.

If you aren't prepared to leave him (and I can understand why you might not be) then I think all you can do is adopt a single parent mind set and not have any expectation of him being a decent husband and father. I'm sure it will be difficult and upsetting to let go of what you'd hoped family life will be like but I think in the long run it will be more peaceful for you and your child.