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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To text colleague on their rest day?

50 replies

Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:13

The office is closed today. Colleague has been unwell, though wfh. I line manage them. There's a meeting tomorrow that I will need to cover and get supplies for, meaning I will have to set off much earlier to get these supplies and get the meeting set up, therefore earlierto bed for me tonight. I asked colleague to text me today to let me know if they'd be in tomorrow so I can step in and sort the meeting but they haven't text. Aibu to text them on their day off to check in with them?

OP posts:
ForPinkDuck · 15/02/2026 17:15

No leave them alone. What supplies do you need for a meeting. If its food and drink just go ahed without.

Didimum · 15/02/2026 17:16

So are they off sick or working from home? If they are working, ask them, but if they are off sick, don’t. Also don’t text the past their working hours.

Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:17

They've been wfh but off today as am I.

OP posts:
Brightbluesomething · 15/02/2026 17:19

No don’t message them and you shouldn’t be asking for contact on their day off. If your sickness policy says call in on the day of sickness then leave them alone. Prepare for the meeting assuming they won’t be in.

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/02/2026 17:19

Probably not. Surely they’re going to wait and see how they feel tomorrow before phoning in sick?

tbh I wouldn’t be covering it anyway if it meant me getting up earlier and going off shopping. What if you have to do school drop off?

Ineffable23 · 15/02/2026 17:21

I probably would, but I know my colleagues would also text me if necessary - if it was to save a lot of effort on the other person's part. It sounds like maybe that's not the norm though!

Thattimenow · 15/02/2026 17:23

“How are you feeling?”

darkchocolatebounty · 15/02/2026 17:25

Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:13

The office is closed today. Colleague has been unwell, though wfh. I line manage them. There's a meeting tomorrow that I will need to cover and get supplies for, meaning I will have to set off much earlier to get these supplies and get the meeting set up, therefore earlierto bed for me tonight. I asked colleague to text me today to let me know if they'd be in tomorrow so I can step in and sort the meeting but they haven't text. Aibu to text them on their day off to check in with them?

As a line manager, why do you not know the policy for this?

SweeetFannyAdams · 15/02/2026 17:25

Only because they said they'd text you, I'd leave it till later (maybe 7.30pm?) and text them instead.

If they hadn't have said they would then I wouldn't dream of it.

GinaandGin · 15/02/2026 17:28

Absolutely not.
It's totally inappropriate

StephensLass1977 · 15/02/2026 17:28

Leave them alone. Unless you really want to piss them off and complain about you. Had my share of this in previous roles and it's awful behaviour. You're just trying to make your own life easier at their expense.

Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:29

Ineffable23 · 15/02/2026 17:21

I probably would, but I know my colleagues would also text me if necessary - if it was to save a lot of effort on the other person's part. It sounds like maybe that's not the norm though!

It does require a lot of effort from me and getting the earlier train. I dint mind though as long as I know in advance.

OP posts:
FrozenFebruary · 15/02/2026 17:29

YANU leave them be. Just sort the meeting out. & why can't you order in supplies!

sonjadog · 15/02/2026 17:33

In this situation, I wouldn't mind a text if I were your employee, as I understand why you need to know. However, some people would mind as according to the rules, you shouldn't. It depends what she thinks about situations like this. Has she ever given you any idea of that?

Bubba2dueJuly26 · 15/02/2026 17:34

I wouldn’t mind you messaging me but on the other hand, if you were expected to cover and get supplies for this meeting will you get paid a bit more to set off earlier and go and get these?

CombatBarbie · 15/02/2026 17:34

Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:29

It does require a lot of effort from me and getting the earlier train. I dint mind though as long as I know in advance.

Show quote history

What is your sickness policy. They cant be wfh and sick, its one or the other. If they are wfh and working then its fine to text/call within normal working hours. And as they have said they would let you know, its acceptable to chase in my eyes even if it is day off. They said they would communicate and havent.

If sick....... don't message and assume they wont be in tomorrow either. Easily be done for harassment/causing stress.

Barnestine · 15/02/2026 17:38

But the colleague hasn’t been off sick; they’ve been working from home. Perfectly acceptable to make contact I think.

Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:50

Bubba2dueJuly26 · 15/02/2026 17:34

I wouldn’t mind you messaging me but on the other hand, if you were expected to cover and get supplies for this meeting will you get paid a bit more to set off earlier and go and get these?

Hi, unfortunately there'll be no pay for setting off earlier. I also needed to know as I've been told to go for emergency bloods tomorrow but will have to postpone to Tuesday so I can do the meeting as there's no one else to do it.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 15/02/2026 17:51

Can’t the meeting just be cancelled? The person running it is sick, if it can’t go ahead without them then that’s just the way it goes

Lavender14 · 15/02/2026 17:52

It depends on your relationship I think. Personally I'd be fine with getting a text saying, I hope you're feeling better. I can go in and do xyz for you tomorrow if you need just let me know.

Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:52

Barnestine · 15/02/2026 17:38

But the colleague hasn’t been off sick; they’ve been working from home. Perfectly acceptable to make contact I think.

Thank you. Due to massive anxiety, there are some shops I can't go in to get supplies as they're too busy and crowded so that's another obstacle. I have to plan my day meticulously when the anxiety is high. None of my colleagues issues, but it helps massively to plan. As I now know in my head I can plan what train to get, what shop to go to and still get into work for my start time. Phew. Exhausting, but I don't mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:54

CombatBarbie · 15/02/2026 17:34

What is your sickness policy. They cant be wfh and sick, its one or the other. If they are wfh and working then its fine to text/call within normal working hours. And as they have said they would let you know, its acceptable to chase in my eyes even if it is day off. They said they would communicate and havent.

If sick....... don't message and assume they wont be in tomorrow either. Easily be done for harassment/causing stress.

Edited
Show quote history

They've been working from home as they've not been feeling well enough to come into the office. Hope that's easier to understand for you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:55

StephensLass1977 · 15/02/2026 17:28

Leave them alone. Unless you really want to piss them off and complain about you. Had my share of this in previous roles and it's awful behaviour. You're just trying to make your own life easier at their expense.

That's why I came here for advice, thanks for giving me the advice.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 15/02/2026 17:56

Carlie97 · 15/02/2026 17:52

Thank you. Due to massive anxiety, there are some shops I can't go in to get supplies as they're too busy and crowded so that's another obstacle. I have to plan my day meticulously when the anxiety is high. None of my colleagues issues, but it helps massively to plan. As I now know in my head I can plan what train to get, what shop to go to and still get into work for my start time. Phew. Exhausting, but I don't mind.

Show quote history

I keep asking, Why are you doing this? It sounds quite martyish- now you also have a serious mental illness that the extra work will trigger he you still want to do it?

Gwenhwyfar · 15/02/2026 17:59

Itsmetheflamingo · 15/02/2026 17:51

Can’t the meeting just be cancelled? The person running it is sick, if it can’t go ahead without them then that’s just the way it goes

We don't know that the person 'running' it is sick. The person who would have organised the supplies may or may not be sick tomorrow is what we know, if I have understood correctly.