I have been with my husband 15 years and married almost 10 years. We had a crazy rocky Journey that consisted of cheating in the beginning and he got physical a couple times (drunk) We were in our early 20’s so I forgave him. We pushed passed this and I still had thoughts about it in the back of my mind, but I didn’t let it affect us. We got into the habit of drinking almost everyday and we became really close like best friends. Everything was great until it wasn’t! He started over doing it with the drinking and started not to eat. All he wanted to do is drink! It started affecting his health. He became super thin and I made him go to the doctor and they said he had a little cirrhosis of the liver. I became truly concerned! He still didn’t stop drinking and started to loose drive in everything! He started forgetting a lot and mind you he’s only 35 and we found out at 34. Everyone was concerned! He tried to stop, but he said it’s not that easy. Well since all of this I have been on my healing journey and I started seeing everything for what it was. I had my last straw when we were out at my sisters event and he’s just drunk stumbling embarrassing me! I went off! On top of that he developed this insane snore where it sounds like he’s gasping for air and I just felt one day he was going to stop breathing and he started talking in his sleep! I would literally wake up and he’s staring at me talking about things that made no sense and he would like push me in my sleep. I felt myself becoming so angry from lack of sleep!! I’m also in the nursing program so sleep is needed! I had no escape until one day I decided to buy a sofa bed and put it in our walk in closet! I felt the life come back in me! He gets so mad when I come in here and he says I gave up on him and that we don’t have sex anymore! It’s been almost 3 months! We have never went this long, but he turns me off!! We have 4 kids. I have two from a previous relationship and 2 by him and I feel at this point they are the only reason I stay because I know they will be crushed on top of feeling guilty that I want out during a time he’s suffering with an addiction and needs me!! Oh and on top of that this lady in the store that we always use to talk to came to me concerned. She said is everything okay with your husband? It looks like something is eating him from the inside out! He looks sick and said some other things. I wanted to throw up in the grocery store! I came to him and begged him to stop drinking for his kids and I cried myself to sleep! He came in drunk the next day! That’s when I cried out to God and asked for peace with the situation and it’s like now I want out!! Am I selfish and wrong for this?