I’m really struggling and could use some perspective.
Blended family. My DSC moved in full time with us. She’s settled well, but my partner’s family has made life difficult.
They’ve made decisions about DSC without consulting him or me. When they don’t like a choice we’ve made, even if we’ve asked them to respect it, they sometimes go ahead anyway and override the decision. DSC goes to them instead of us, and they support them rather than redirect them back. It undermines my partner’s authority and makes consistent parenting almost impossible as DSC don’t listen.
They also won’t discuss anything DSC-related in front of me. Attempts to engage (like updating them about school) have been ignored both face to face and over message. Their focus is on what we’re not doing rather than what we are. Everything feels polite but cold, and I genuinely feel invisible.
If we go around they never ask anything about me, never ask how I’m doing, generally don’t really have any interest in me. Which I’m struggling to sit and pretend is okay in front of my children.
When they aren’t happy with something, they’ll stop interacting with me… messaging, social media, etc. It’s subtle, ongoing, and exhausting. They never raise anything instead ignore or give me/and or partner the cold shoulder. It honestly feels like bullying. My partner has said I can “step back if I want,” but that feels more like being forced out than being protected. This has been more frequent since September and I’m noticing how anxious it’s making me feel, it’s had a big impact on my mental health.
I don’t expect them to like me — I just want to feel respected and included. AIBU for feeling drained and undermined?