Cafe worker with obvious skin condition and bad nails

[BadNailsnotabadperson]

If you were served by someone with an obvious skin condition and very damaged misshapen sore nails would you say something?

I have the above conditions and twice now I’ve had comments. Once was not too bad just a ‘oh that looks sore it’s not contagious is it’ and then the other day told
to get someone to re serve fresh food and drink as I wasn’t wearing gloves (we don’t have to to take a tray to a table) and told my hygiene levels weren’t good enough.

I get that it looks horrendous but it’s not contagious. I don’t do food prep so don’t need gloves and I can’t just wear them all the time as it makes the soreness worse. They aren’t bleeding or anything.

I didn’t go in yesterday and I’m going to get signed off and look for something else as this kind of thing really really upsets me and I’m very fragile mentally due to not feeling well (I have other medical conditions) I get PIP so can survive while looking for another job. I felt so humiliated though last week .

Would people comment on this AIBU to think it was rude or are people entitled to say something if they are worried about contagious conditions

You really should be wearing gloves around food - you may know it’s not flaky but customers don’t.

I’m sorry - I do sympathise with you but ultimately it’s about keeping the customer happy and I do think skin conditions like that should be covered when there’s food and drink involved.

Yes but people dont know that. All they see is a quick glimpse at skin that looks very inflamed and red so rightly or wrongly, assumptions will be made.

I watched an excellent programme a while back called The Bad Skin clinic with Dr Emma Craythorne. It was fascinating and they covered so many conditions I had never even heard of - I recommend you have a look. They talked a lot about causes of skin conditions and diets that might help. They also talked extensively about the psychological effects they cause which might really help you. I am sorry you are going through this.

I’ve just been looking up skin and nail manifestation of coeliacs and it sounds exactly the same im definitely going to ask for a test and I’m actually confused why my dermatologist hasn’t suggested this

I’m actually confused why my dermatologist hasn’t suggested this

I'm not. My husband asked his dermatologist about diet and things like that and it was brushed aside. There is a huge connection between the gut and our skin but unfortunately not all derms are focused on being holistic.

I was going to suggest looking to coeliac disease @BadNailsnotabadperson. I have it although it’s never affected my skin.

The main thing is don’t stop eating gluten until you’ve had the tests. You need gluten in your system for your body to produce the antibodies that the blood test detects.

Good luck, I hope this brings and answer for you.

Op, there is a form of lupus called DLE. Which causes skin and nail issues as you describe? Caused by your own immune system. Maybe worth mentioning at your appointment and being tested for?.

Why are they twats? I would not be happy to be served by a cashier sneezing all the time, while scanning my goods. I would not know if it is a cold, or allergies that they are suffering from. You are covering your mouth. I presume, when sneezing, and then touching the customers produce. Would you like that to be happening to your shopping? They are not twats to be bothered by that.

I really do feel for you, @BadNailsnotabadperson . I have a completely different dermatological condition (alopecia universalis) and I know how profoundly a person's self-image and self-esteem is affected by the manner in which visible skin conditions appear. And you have the additional difficulty of people imagining possible contagiousness.

I wish I had some obvious suggestion for insulating your selfhood from your skin! That has to be the target. Some way of separating people's perception of your skin from your sense of how they perceive you. Your username says it all: Any judgement they have of your nails/skin is not a judgement of you.

To answer your question, I think that if I was in a reputable cafe I wouldn't say anything, because I would assume that all the hygiene protocols that are legally required would already have reassured me that your condition is irrelevant to hygiene.

But I guess I can understand people who raise it quietly and politely. (People who raise it rudely are just wankers and should be disregarded, but I know it is impossible to disregard them.)

I think that you are brave and admirable for working in a job where you have to confront these issues head on, but I also think it is a bit too much for you to have to cope with, at any rate without support.

Is there a support group for people with your condition? Or perhaps a more general group for people with any type of dermatological condition that has socially isolating effects? Perhaps they might offer peer support or even a kind of counselling?

I also think your employer should be supporting you. They must be aware of the challenges the role creates for you. Have you been able to discuss with them any possible ways of making your position easier? (I'm thinking about people with invisible disabilities who wear lanyards alerting people to their condition. It would be great if there were similar forms of information/awareness for conditions like yours!!)

In the absence of any such support, and if you feel that you can't carry on in the role, I hope you are able to keep hold of the truth that it is not you but other people's ignorance, that constitutes the fault. xx

I second the PPs who suggest you might have coeliac disease. The associated condition is dermatitis herpetiformis, but it's not a type of herpes; it's the outward sign of a severe gluten allergy and gut inflammation. In my case it began as itchy red bumps on my elbows, then on my hands and ankles, then emerged as a weeping, festering rash across my back. That was in 2018. My GP just faffed about, so I said FTS and immediately cut gluten out of my diet. It took two weeks for the joint pain and IBS to subside and about a year before the rash completely disappeared, but I've had no trouble since. Self-diagnosed and feeling good. Gluten-free living is beautiful.

Some solidarity from me too OP, I spent two years looking like a facial burns victim with horrendous eczema and I know the sheer mental strength it takes to leave the house let alone show up at work. I'm sorry some posters have said they would feel alarmed- this has probably fed into your existing anxiety- I guess they'll never know what it's like until they have a similar condition. I also know the feeling of being at the mercy of dermatologists' guesswork and it's soul-destroying. Big virtual hug from me x

Yanbu. That is spectacularly rude and ignorant of the people involved.

I hope you find a resolution to your health issues, and a role dealing with better mannered people.

The stress of dealing with people like that won't be helping.

Why are they twats?

Would you like someone constantly sneezing all over you?

I suffer from eczema on my hands and wrists. I can't wear gloves on their own, as they make my hands sweat, and the eczema worse. However, what I do is wear cotton gloves under the rubber/latex gloves as it allows my skin to breathe. Is this something you could do?

Unfortunately, you are serving food/drinks and it's customer facing. Your condition (like mine) isn't contagious but other people don't know that. Yes, common sense should tell them that your Manager wouldn't allow you to do your job, if you had a contagious skin condition. People don't think like that though.

I wouldn’t say anything. I would feel bad for you like I would for anyone with a sore skin condition.
I am shocked that you are so far away from a diagnosis and treatment plan and would ask for a second opinion ASAP.

Oh come on, that's really unfair. I would not want you to be sneezing all over my food as its going down the conveyor belt (or over me) and its not about you having a cold or an allergy, I simply dont want someone else's snot particles all over my food. It doesn't make them "twats" for not enjoying that. I doubt you would like that either.

You know who is a twat though?- your employer. If the tills were aggravating your allergies then they should have put you on other duties in the store. In fact, they had a legal responsibility to do that so you should be angry with them, not the customers!

Have you seen a dermatologist? I struggled for quite a while and paid to see a consultant who immediately diagnosed palmar and plantar pustular psoriasis. It does vary in how it presents as well so GPS do get it wrong apparently. Mine is under control by using diprosalic and lots of UV - so I spend winters out of the UK (not a solution for most people I know, but you can get uv lights).

@BadNailsnotabadperson have you seen a dermatologist yet? I have a condition called granuloma annularis, which causes raised circles/welts on my skin. The only thing that settled it down was steroid injection with tiny fine needles directly into the area. It is triggered by damage to the skin, in my case by armpit waxing, wearing a necklace with sharp edges, and my hands getting scratched by gardening, my skin reacts to this damage by raising these rings. I hope you get some answers soon.

Aw OP, im sorry youre going through all of this. I remember when I worked in retail an elderly lady came to the till and began the conversation with an apology about her hands and how "awful" they looked and told me it wasn't contagious. I hadnt even noticed her hands and it made me so sorry for her that she felt the need to justify herself to me.

Dirty nails on a server would concern me for my own food quality intake.
The nails don't sound dirty.

Sometimes ppl are just making conversation. You make your conditions sound very striking looking & unusual and people just like to know what they are seeing and what it means. It doesn't mean they are about to leave or would never return. I think you're stuck with the questions because people like to know what they are seeing. So whether you can keep the job depends if you can make yourself not mind their curiousity.

I wonder why you don’t wear gloves?

Can you pursue that? Sounds horrendous all round you poor thing!

I don’t think it’s rude and ignorant not to want someone with a sore and red skin condition handling your food.

Yes, as a customer I'd assume that any skin condition a staff member had was not contagious, or they wouldn't be in that role/doing those tasks.

She's said why.

I don’t handle any food I literally take the orders and payments and take the trays to the table