Will be ever bloody leave me alone?!!

[Noideamatey]

Split with ex 4 years ago. He was emotionally abusive, which turned physical towards the end with him being removed from my house by police. Sporadic abuse received since but haven't spoken for 6 months as have no need to. Kids are college age and my input is not needed (he barely sees them anyway)

A couple days ago my new Partner got a message through Instagram from what looks like a fake account saying that he should get away from me and I'll cheat on him like I did my ex, and he should run

We've been together 3 years, and just finds the whole thing pathetic and amusing in a "what a sad bastard" way

But I'm here thinking......will I ever be free? I've done so much work on myself and recognised how truly bad the relationship was and how horrifically I was treated. It's taken years to finally start healing and it seems every time I'm doing good that cunt has to pop up and make his presence known. Like a reminder that he's still here to ruin my life

AIBU to think he's never going to leave me alone? And how do I stop every thing like this that happens putting me mentally back in the space I was 4 years ago 🤦🏻‍♀️

I have no advice but it sounds horrible. Well done for getting away and rebuilding your life.

More than once in the space of 6 months (I think but google timelines to be sure) is deemed malicious communication - designed to alarm and distress a person. Police should be able to help. That’ll put him in his place. I learnt that bullies continue to bully until you fight back (swift and decisive and without any emotion).

Can't call the police this time as I can't prove it's him. Definitely not going to reply or engage!!

We spoke amicably about 6 months ago regarding money for my son. Just a few messages

Contact before that was him calling me a cunt on loudspeaker and threatening me through my child's phone

It just seems never ending, when I think he's moved on and finally leaving me be, up he pops like a demented fucking jack in the box 🤦🏻‍♀️

And now I've not slept all.night and I've turned into the scared, cowardly woman I was 4 years ago. I'm not sure what I hate the most. Him, or my instinctual reaction to him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not heard from my exh from a decade and he sent me a text recently. Put me in a tizzy. Youngest DD took the piss out of the message mercilessly. Made me feel much better. I think he drunk texted.

I have an ex like that. It's been six years and I do generally just ignore him now without any trouble.
I'd say minimise exposure as much as possible. For starters, I'd have a serious conversation with your new partner. He shouldn't have told you about the message at all given how it affects you. Also don't overshare on SM. Your ex shouldn't have had access to your partner's name at all. A little privacy goes a long way.
Change your settings so your phone and SM accounts don't accept messages/calls from unknown numbers and accounts. All my iG messages unless they are from accounts I follow get filtered into spam folder which I don't get notifications for and never open.
It's early days. Your reactions will soften. Getting a little bit of top up therapy is also useful. I often resubscribe to BetterHelp for a month at difficult points in my life so I probably end up having eight weeks of therapy per year for under £500. Worth every penny.

You geelingd are so normal!!!! You've had good advice above. I would call the police every time and just have it logged- the pattern of behaviours is important.
Unfortunately it us all about power and control for him- how dare you leave type thing. Unless urgent i wouldn't speak to him at all about the kuds. Get your partner to document further contact. So sorry you're going through this!

I'm sorry your ex is such an arsehole 😔 try and reframe it in your mind - you have done so well getting away from him, you have a new life and a lovely partner - you are winning at life! He is sad and pathetic - after 4 years he is still hanging on to bitterness and resentment instead of getting on with his life - what a loser.

If you need to, ongoing therapy may help - I can understand your nervous system response to his message but keep in your mind that he hasn't caused the trouble he hoped and that you will deal with it if he tries to cause trouble again. You are strong and you've got the support of your partner.