DM is always talking about how much she failed me and my brother. She talks about how well other adult children are doing and how when adult children are “struggling” other people always blame the parents.
I am going through a difficult separation from my husband and difficulties around child arrangements right now, things are very tough however I don’t see it as a reflection on my upbringing and if I heard about one of my friends in their 40s who said they were separating from their husband I wouldn’t blame my friends mother!
She regularly talks about other children who are “thriving”
I see myself as going through a hard time right now but in a lot of other ways I am doing well such as I have a job I enjoy, I have close friends, I am a good mother and I have had a lot of success in a creative pursuit of mine and won first prize in quite a few competitions, not bragging but it feels like she sees me as a big gigantic failure!
My brother is struggling, he has severe mental health difficulties and he does have leaning difficulties too, my mother sees this as her fault too. I do feel guilty like I’ve added to their burden.
so, AIBU in thinking that you do your best, raise your children but they ultimately make their own choices in life, good and bad. Plus a divorce or separation doesn’t necessarily mean that you had a bad upbringing?