Random things you believed as a child light hearted

[NimbleHiker]

I thought that my neighbours were moving their furniture about when it thundered. I thought that the moon was made of cheese. I thought that periods started on the first day of each month.

And I found out TODAY that Evelyn Waugh was a man......

I wanted to bounce on the clouds too. Very disappointed to learn I would fall straight through.

That having an accident only meant wetting yourself.

i remember being really embarrassed for my friend’s dad because he had an accident and it was so serious he had to go to hospital!

I couldn’t look at him for years.

When I was about seven I started worrying about vampires coming to the window at night.

I used to lie in bed, covered with all my soft toys, so the vampires couldn’t see me, whilst pulling the blankets over me leaving a tiny gap between soft toy and blanket so I could peer out. DM then had to pull the curtains, but leaving a very small gap - the idea being that I could see any vampire looking in, but he wouldn’t be able to see me! Bizarrely, I was relatively sanguine about the prospect of a vampire hovering outside my window, I just wanted to be forewarned in the event that one turned up!

I also got the idea that the devil lived down the toilet and would be summoned by the flush and/or by anyone speaking to me whilst I was in the bathroom. I used to wash my hands first, then flush, (🙀), before hurtling downstairs to safety. If anyone spoke to me whilst I was in the bathroom, I would scream in terror. This went on for years and I was genuinely frightened each time I had to flush the toilet, but I’ve no clue where I got the idea from in the first place.

The skid risk road sign was a sign to unbuckle your seatbelt. We had lap belts!

You're welcome.

@VerySameTimei also thought this. My dad took us on when we were kids and I was really anxious about it as I don’t like heights. When we did the crossing I was like ooohhhh! Ok then

I thought that Iceland the shop was named after the country.

I remember the moment I realised, I was with my dad and an advert for them came on. I suddenly exclaimed "omg! It's not because of the country, it's because it's frozen food!" Dad looked at me incredulously and I genuinely thought he didn't get it so I went on to patiently explain that the shop is an Ice LAND! A LAND OF ICE!!

Dad of course confirmed that yes, everyone else already knows this.

I was 27 😵‍💫

That when Guerrillas were mentioned on the news that they were the monkey kind of gorillas and I could never quite understand why they were involved in war

I thought it was the wedding ring that got you pregnant 🧐

My mother grew up in a very strict church going family, she was definitely agnostic if not atheist , and determined we could decide when/if we wanted to go to church, so I wasn't a church goer by the time I started school.

We learned the Lords Prayer at school, and I thought the wording was a little odd, but accepted it as such because the whole class recited it together in Assembly, so it had to be right, surely?

It made absolute sense when I went to Brownies, and on Thinking Day we went to church. The vicar gave the sermon from a marvellous lectern that towered above us as we sat cross legged at the front of the church, and it was carved as an eagle.

".....deliver us from all EAGLES.....'' - well it was pretty scary that close up, no wonder it got a mention in the Lord's Prayer!

When I was little I thought comedy sketch shows on telly were live, and couldn’t figure out how (eg) The Two Ronnies changed outfits so quickly. I don’t know why I thought this, as I was fully aware that dramas and sitcoms were prerecorded?! It was for some reason just sketch shows that I believed to be live.

I thought earwigs were called earwigs because they crawl in your ears and burrow into your brain. I used to sleep with my fingers in my ears ...

I have just gone back over the thread and find that the earwig fear was not exclusive to me!

That the bumpy bits leading upto a roundabout was to alert the blind drivers of said roundabout. My auntie couldn’t stop laughing or telling everyone about it 😂😂😂

I frequently stayed with my father’s side Gran as a child. Her accent is a mix of Donegal and North London with a sprinkle of something else. I loved my Gran and still do; she has a patience and desire to nurture and explain that made up for some of the issues my parents had (nothing terrible, but they were more into themselves and each other, but especially themselves, to an extent that meant that my brother and I just got on without them as much as we could whenever necessary).

My Gran’s ritual when it gets dark (or earlier in summer) is to go round ‘locking up’ and pulling curtains etc. – I was not too sure what the careful curtains part of the ritual was but it was probably to take care not to knock over the plants between them and the glass, especially the precious cacti.

Child me asked her what she was doing when I noticed how involved things were and she turned to me and said ‘we wouldn’t want Annie Boddy getting in, would we?’ and she made these big eyes at me, which I took to be an imitation of Annie who probably had a really big head as well as huge eyes.

The ritual made me feel secure, but Annie Boddy being out there somewhere bothered me a little.

Back home I realised my parents were a bit slack with their Annie routine, so I took it upon myself to do a check just as it was getting dark whenever I could. Better to be safe, a member of the Boddy family is out there with her huge head and eyes and wants to get in after all. What if once she is inside she lets more of them in through the door?

Eventually my mother worked out that I was up to something when I came in to the kitchen, checked behind the blind and lowered it.

“What are you up to?”

‘I don’t want Annie Boddy getting in’. And I made the eyes.

She laughed.

I already had suspicions that my mother wasn’t really into being a parent, and this strengthened them. So I explained the situation to my brother (18 months younger) and enlisted him in making sure that we could manage the anti-Annie routine together despite our parents not taking it seriously. It worked best when one of us distracted them as the other went round doing the checks and closedown as furtively as possible.

I thought this too, my auntie used to send me Irish £5 notes in my birthday cards and I would pay them in the bank, I was really upset when I went with my mum to withdraw them that they gave me English ones, I kept saying that these weren’t my notes, I made a big fuss about it 😂 I was only about 6 though!

That spiders inject poison into the ends of bananas. I still cut the ends off. I'm 68.

When you bought a box of hair dye you turned into the woman on the front 😂

I thought all roads connected eventually and you could take any random turn-off in the car and pick your way to your destination.

There were lions under the wooden gates in the pavement. I was scared to walk past.

There was a small man inside my toy computer called Henry.

That if I didnt eat my crusts my hair would not curl
That if I ate carrots I would be able to see in the dark
That if I ate fish I would be "brainy"
That if I swallowed chewing gum it would wrap around my heart

On a more serious note I was made to believe that as I was jealous of my new baby sister I had "broken" my mothers heart and she might die if I was not a "good girl". I was also made to believe that as I was such a "bad girl" a man with a van was coming to take me to a home for naughty children. In fact she had heart problems following the birth and this was my parents way of rationalising events. I was 8 years old when they told me this.

I used to think Santa was real at one point. It faded away after a couple of days.