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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say having an amazing MIL is life changing!!

36 replies

Shamalama56 · 14/02/2026 08:50

Ive gone from having the MIL from hell to an amazing MIL who is such a wonderful person and so kind and respectful, I try my hardest to make sure she feels cared for and respected back too.
Its such a revelation. It changes everything. It makes me feel so happy. Just wanted to share!

OP posts:

TheMorgenmuffel · 14/02/2026 14:20

I agree. My mum in law was fantastic and I loved her dearly. She was so warm and funny, really caring, and always in my corner.

ScreamingInfidelities · 14/02/2026 14:25

YANBU both my in-laws are amazing and a big part of our lives. I’m very lucky compared to some of my friends

BoredZelda · 14/02/2026 14:29

Shamalama56 · 14/02/2026 09:31

Do you guys give a nod to your MIL on mothers day or is that kind of overstepping?

We go out with her as a family.

She is fantastic. I call her mother.

JillMW · 14/02/2026 14:35

Thank you! I had a lovely one (only the one). I hope I am the same with the partners of my 3. So lovely to hear as mn usually seems to be the place to hate mil

TheActualQueen · 14/02/2026 14:36

user1471548941 · 14/02/2026 09:17

I also have a fab MIL! I’m autistic and very introverted and she’s always respected my boundaries and space with DH’s guidance. I.e. she buys me the exact same thing for Xmas every year, which I think is baffling to her, but I LOVE that! We live 4 hours apart but she’s a peaceful and respectful house guest, lovely company, offers to help us with things (but doesn’t get offended if we decline!) and is supportive of us without trying to live in our pockets. We have common interests and share a sense of adventure that I can really related too. As a result we are really intentional about wanting to spend time with her- this year she’s coming with us on a 3 week bucket holiday and I can’t wait to see her reaction to some of the places we’re going!

Aw that’s so lovely

JustAnotherWhinger · 14/02/2026 14:57

My MIL said to me very early on, when she had clocked how serious DH and I were, “My MIL was a nightmare. She pushed opinions and got offended if I didn’t follow them. She made me feel like an outsider in my own home with constant in jokes and strongly believed I wasn’t good enough for FIL. My son adores you and I can see why. My grandson adores you and I can see why. I’ll probably offer advice at some point that you think is outdated and useful, if I do please try and remember that I’m just trying to help people I love. I’ll never be offended if you don’t take my advice and the words ‘well I told you so” will never cross my lips. I promise I’ll try and remember at all times that you love my son, and grandson, and you’re just trying your best to make them happy, can you please try and remember the same about me.”

It gave us a real openness with each other and we have an amazing relationship. DH was widowed before we met and before DS1 started school MIL looked after him 3 days a week so she was very involved. It’s been amazing with her.

im also incredibly lucky because DH’s MIL, who had DS1 the other 2 days a week before he started school, is equally amazing.

the day she said to me “my daughter would be very happy that DH is so happy with you, and that after losing his Mummy DS1 now has a Mum who loves him like you do” is one of my happiest moments because it must be so hard for her to see someone else in what should be her daughters place. She calls herself my Other-MIL

in two weeks the three of us, SIL and OMIL’s daughter are going on a spa weekend as a treat for surviving half term 😁

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 14/02/2026 15:00

Shamalama56 · 14/02/2026 08:58

She thinks of things we both might like to do and then invites me to them.
She invites me over for dinner without him there.
She gifts me really thoughtful presents for my birthday and christmas.
Ifshe sees something i might like she picks it up for me - nothing OTT or expensive, just small things.
I do the same for her.

Basically she makes me feel like her own daughter and I treat her the same way I treat my own mother.
I think shes wonderful.

She doesnt blindly support her son "because hes my son". Shes objective.

you are very lucky! Im def jealous...

I wouldn't say i'd crawl over broken glass but i'd legitimately pay £10k + to convert my existing mil to what you have.

TorroFerney · 14/02/2026 15:22

Shamalama56 · 14/02/2026 08:58

Basically she makes me feel like her own daughter and I treat her the same way I treat my own mother.
I think shes wonderful.

She doesnt blindly support her son "because hes my son". Shes objective.

am I odd, that sounds absolutely suffocating to me! I have a very dysfunctional relationship with my mother though well my mother is very dysfunctional would be a better way to put it.

Vintageblueribbon · 14/02/2026 15:23

I adore my mil
Shes the woman,mother and grandmother i want to be
She sadly lost her own dd to battons disease in 2000 (she nursed her to the end)
She took me in and is my mum in every sense (im nc with my family as im the scapegoat in a narcissistic family)
She never judges or takes sides (and dp is the original pfb!)
Being around her is like getting a firm but gentle hug
We both utterly adore her-i wish I could be half the woman she is

Skyflyinghigh · 14/02/2026 16:10

I hope to be a good MIL. I really like all my sons’ partners and would hate to be thought of badly by them

SquareSweetsThatLookRound · 14/02/2026 16:26

Mine is wonderful. I can talk to her about anything and she is the best at buying presents ! She does think DH is perfect- but do his 4 sisters! I think being the only boy has served him well!

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