Video chatting to School friends

[NotChained]

My child is 8 1/2, Audhd. They like to play roblox on their tablet, this is locked down so they cannot chat to anyone online via video or chat with high parental controls. It seems their friends are able to do everything on there so they have begged for chat. I have refused this.

We have WhatsApp on the tablet but this is only family on there and rarely used, mainly to wish someone happy birthday or video call if we are away and they are at a relatives.

Their friend has told them about an app they have called talksafe kids. I have told them they can have it to chat to their friend, now their friend is begging them to video call them.

I'm not sure I feel comfortable with them video calling and not sure what limits to set, I am getting arguments that they want to chat with their friend.

I have said it would need to be monitored I.e stay in a shared area and checked on regularly. I'm not sure what rules and timescales to enforce. It has a pass code so they can't add anyone. I have told them it is only school friends, they are to be kind, not give any personal details and not add anyone they don't know. The parental controls are £7.50 a month!

Am I BU to enforce these rules? I don't even really like them having this facility at their age. I feel there should also be a limit how long they can video call but not sure how long.

What makes you uncomfortable about them video calling school friends?

Mine is 11 so slightly older (adhd too). Him and his friends all group video call on WhatsApp when they’re playing Roblox. They just discuss the game and tactics as they’re playing it. I haven’t an issue with it other than the over excited shouting!

He is only allowed to talk to school friends.

We have some behaviour issues due to the audhd, and I wanted to make sure they are safe online. I've heard about kids doing unsafe social media trends. I'm worried about them falling out, the amount of time spent on video chat at such an age. They have moved schools due to issues at the last school. I'm just concerned they aren't mature enough for it, and the amount of time that might be spent on video chat.

I much prefer my son on games video chatting with his classmates than on mindless YouTube. Maybe have him near you at first so you can listen in

Ours are similar ages and those rules are fair. It's what we've always done so it's all they know. I do ask that they don't accept/make video calls while I'm in the room without a heads up!

Honestly they’re 8 1/2 - just say no. Keep them away from this as long as possible, I don’t think someone in Y4 needs to do this.

I would be more concerned about him playing Roblox. It is an awful game particularly for children with adhd as it literally pulls them in and gives dopamine hits that make symptoms worse. Look it up online. I would be very careful

8 is very young for even be playing video games, let alone online! Neither of my boys were allowed to play any sort of games consoles until they were 10 (year 6) and they’ve never had a tablet ever. They also got their phones in year 7 as they didn’t need them before that. They are 14 and 12 now, and the 12 year old plays online with his friends (not Roblox as it’s terribly addictive, but Minecraft). He isn’t allowed to have headphones or use the chat function on Minecraft, so he and his friends open up a WhatsApp group call and have it on speaker so they can chat about what they are doing. This seems fine - he plays in the playroom so is downstairs and one of us is always here (he has a time limit of no more than an hour on the Xbox anyway, so it’s not difficult to arrange an adult always to be ‘around’). I think the issues come when kids have games consoles in their rooms and when they are allowed to play for too long - they are far more likely to end up falling out with their friends or hearing inappropriate things if there’s not an adult vaguely listening in.