Leaving job after 10 years

[Hillymillie]

For the last 10 years I have worked in the same department as a manager. I have helped people with training, professional qualifications, promotions, returning to work after sickness and making reasonable adjustments. I have always had really positive feedback from the team.

My boss had suggested that instead of having a leaving do that the Christmas lunch would be my leaving do as it was on my last day. Aside from my boss everyone else there was under my management for years.

No-one discussed my leaving until I had to leave. I had to collect DD so I was the first to leave. At that point 4 of the 12 people there came up to me, gave me a hug and wished me well. The rest remained where they were and just said ‘bye’ as if I was going to see them tomorrow. They were all aware it was my last day and I am unlikely to see them again.

I didn’t expect a gift because I don’t think you should buy managers things since they earn more than you. I was sad that they didn’t get me a card and the majority of them didn’t say anything to me. We work in a company where it is common to give people proper send offs. So am I being unreasonable for feeling upset about not getting a proper goodbye?

This is exact situation is why it needs drumming into peoples heads that work colleagues are not your friends and to stop breaking your back over your job.
Because people just don’t care.
It’s awful OP and I’m sorry that you got such a shit send off 🙁

I’m sorry OP. Don’t take it personally. These things always need that one person who takes charge and it was probably you before.

You would have made sure something was done to acknowledge the person leaving. You would have organised a whip round. You would have got a card and got people to sign it. You would have reminded everyone and made a little speech at the lunch.

This is on your own manager really. I manage managers and have to remind some of them to do this stuff. Yes it’s not compulsory but it reminds everyone about inclusion because feeling left out hurts.

I don’t think send offs really relate to how people feel. It’s more about who was meant to arrange cards etc. I’ve had jobs where I’d been excluded and bullied yet they bought lots of presents. And others where I thought I had friends but they didn’t acknowledge me leaving at all. This is likely down to your manager not getting a card. Try not to take it personally. Some are embarrassed to say goodbye or anxious over what to say. It likely isn’t about you.

You aren’t being unreasonable. Your boss should have had everyone’s attention and made some sort of speech, and yes, a card and gift should have been given if it is the norm in your company. I’m sorry that happened, especially after 10 years dedication. Did your boss say anything as you left?

She did hug me and wished me the best

I worked for a HE institution for 22 years and no one said goodbye or thank you. I worked in another institution with the same three people for 10 years and never heard from them after I retired although we had supported each other through births, marriages and deaths. We spend more time at work than at home with our partners and families but it is work and very thing is transitory and fake.