To tell my friend that her comment hurt me when I know it was unintentional

[fluffychair]

A couple of weeks ago my friend made a comment to me that really hurt me. I know she didn't mean to hurt me but she did. I haven't said anything about it and I have seen her since. It has been fine, I still love her to bits of course and I can behave as I always have with her but it does still sting. I haven't been able to completely move on and I'm worried it will mean I hold back slightly in future with her.
Would you tell her that she hurt you? If so, how?

Totally depends what was said, this needs more context.

If you are holding back, then she might notice.
Why not get it out in the open and just say her comment hurt you.
Was it a genuinely hurtful comment, or were you being particularly oversensitive?

Too little information to know.

How on earth do you expect anyone to answer without having any idea what was said?!

A friend once said something to me that stung like hell. That was several years ago and I still think about it. Ive never mentioned it to her.
You need to tell your friend. But if you don't like confrontation then that is going to be very hard

I told my long standing friend that she had hurt me and asked her to apologise - it was uncalled for and a cruel thing to say that wasn't true and made me think she had felt badly about me for a long time. She refused to apologise, I asked once more, nope...we haven't spoken since! If she hurt you and gives a damn she will apologise and be sad to have hurt you.

All of these examples from other people are also too unspecific. You could be talking about a friend saying ‘I don’t think red is your colour’ or ‘We took bets on your wedding day as to how quick the divorce would be’, after all.

I have a very good friend who said something thoughtless and hurtful once. But she was (and still is) a wonderful friend who’d been very good to me, and would never deliberately hurt me, so I didn’t say anything. I just cooled off and stepped back a bit for a few weeks, till it hurt less. All fine since then.

Do you feel comfortable to tell us what she said?

My best friend told me a couple of years ago “Do you think it’s all in your head?” In regards to my chronic pelvic pain and heavy periods. It hurt. I never told her how it hurt though. I kind of wish I did. Hurts a bit more because I’ve recently been diagnosed with Endometriosis.

My friend once said I ‘ruined my house’ because I was untidy. I am, but at that time I had a cleaner so it was a normal family house with two kids and two dogs kind of untidy, not borderline hoarder dirty, which is how her comment made me feel. It also hurt as I take a lot of time and pleasure in decorating my home. I never said anything though and to be honest I’ve always judged her house as bland (no artwork) and also a bit messy due to her man-child DH and chore adverse son (so didn’t have any right to criticise me). But I’ve never said anything at all.
@xPenelopePitstopgoodness I know about that - for years my young teenage DD complained of a variety of issues and nothing was found nor any treatment worked and it was suggested it might be psychological by more than one person, including the school nurse who was a friend. Then at 17 at a different hospital she was finally diagnosed with MS. I felt like ringing up everyone and saying ‘see! It wasn’t in her head! She wasn’t making it up’!