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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m failing as I don’t have a mortgage

4 replies

AmethystH · 13/02/2026 15:39

All my bills are paid. I have no debt. I go on lovely holidays. Own my car. Why do I feel like I’m missing out as I don’t have a mortgage? Please help me see the positives to this. Having a bit of a wobble today after hearing people at baby group talking about their mortgages (negatively), and feeling like I’m behind in life.

For reference, I was a teenage single mum and it was just myself and my son until 3 years ago.

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 13/02/2026 15:40

It sounds like it’s a goal of yours to own a house.

What do you need to do to achieve that goal?

AuraBora · 13/02/2026 15:43

Hmm.. we have an old house with no end of problems, latest one very difficult and very expensive to fix.
Feels like we have hardly made a dent in the mortgage over last 8 years and have spent £1000s in the house - and it looks no better!! We may also have to sell at a loss if we cannot fix issues.

Not always great!!

Tonissister · 13/02/2026 15:45

On the bright side - any responsibility for maintaining your home is your landlord's, so you don;t have that hassle. And if you want to move, you can, without the enormous hassle of trying to sell.

To me, the biggest benefit of a mortgage is to have somewhere you own outright when you are older. Having to pay rent when you are way past retirement age is a headache.

If I were you I would look in areas that you like for a property that costs the same or slightly less than your current rental and consider saving for a deposit wiht a view to trying to buy later on. Watch out for flats with massive annual management costs, though. You are better off buying freehold if possible.

BuffaloCauliflower · 13/02/2026 15:45

How old are you? What steps are you making to buy? I was a first time buyer at 36 with 2 kids, I think that’s pretty normal these days

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