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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be exhausted and worried about my SEN childrens future

6 replies

Corilee2806 · 13/02/2026 15:02

I have two primary-aged children (KS1). My daughter who I have posted about before and had lots of helpful responses has diagnosed autism, she’s been in EBSA for several months following autistic burnout. She is currently on a very reduced timetable but unlikely to be back in class any time soon. We are appealing a refusal to assess for an EHCP but have been advised by the LA to submit a fresh EHCNA with updated evidence. It’s likely to be a long battle.

My son is 5 and now showing increasing school distress. Lots of separation anxiety, dysregulation, lashing out at sibling before and after school, bolting at drop-off, saying he feels sick/homesick, attempted self harm and some really scary incidents where in a post meltdown shame spiral he tries to get hold of sharp objects (we’ve locked these all away) . He has a history of transition difficulties since nursery, sensory needs, and we’re awaiting ASD assessment. School say he masks well in class and aren’t sure with knowing what support to put in place. This has been a theme all the way through since I first started raising concerns when he was about 3

At a recent meeting, the LA officer proactively suggested we should also be thinking about an EHCNA for him sooner rather than later.

I feel slightly stunned at the idea of two children going through EBSA this young and dealing with the ECHP process for both.

It feels unusual, and I’m struggling to know whether:

  • This is early EBSA and I should act fast, or
  • I’m catastrophising because of what happened with my daughter.

Has anyone navigated 2 children with EBSA at once? Or submitting two EHCNAs in close succession?

I’m trying to be proactive rather than reactive, but also don’t want to escalate unnecessarily.

I’m so burnt out and exhausted, I’ve long given up hope of working for the foreseeable future, and feel like I’m drowning in referrals, SEND paperwork, trying to manage behaviour and do some home learning. The worst thing is the isolation- since this all started I feel completely abandoned. Help.

OP posts:
Needlenardlenoo · 13/02/2026 16:38

Hi OP, I will post a link to the EHCP support thread and the SEN kids' thread. I'm sorry things are so difficult.

PermanentlyExhaustedPigeonZZZ · 13/02/2026 16:41

Definitely apply for both. It can take a year, or even 2 if you have to go to tribunal and a lot can happen in that time. It could be that mainstream just isn't the right environment for your youngest.

Needlenardlenoo · 13/02/2026 16:42

I don't think it's possible to but the topic Special needs/SN children may also help you find similar peers.

Corilee2806 · 13/02/2026 17:12

Thank you, I will try these. I have posted on SEN/SN before but those boards seemed quiet so I always ended up here for more traffic. But will see if things have maybe changed.

@Needlenardlenoo you’ve already been so helpful when posting about my daughter and we have made some progress so thank you very much.

OP posts:
Corilee2806 · 13/02/2026 17:15

deep down I think that’s probably correct re my youngest. Finding it so hard to cope with the idea of both of them at home though, not even sure it’s safe

OP posts:
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