I’ll preface this by saying I also have adhd and appreciate how difficult running a house is, mine is messy within reason and Im sure most MN would find my home dreadful, however it’s cleaned regularly, it is just a few toys and laundry piles that usually are needing to be put away.
But there has been a tiktoker (who had adhd hence me mentioning mine) who is calling out being bullied by other creators or the comments on her posts because her house is pretty dirty. Literal shite in the carpet dirty or mouldy beds etc. I try never to judge anyone with the classic line of “i have this x and I don’t do x” because we aren’t all the same, however, Im sure if Im being quite hypocritical, but I just couldn’t imagine leaving poo or mould around my children. I can’t express enough how overwhelmed I get at housework and how much of a struggle it can be, but, I can’t also imagine my dc living with poo smeared in carpets. Or somewhat worse, me sharing that with people. How little privacy do those kids have? Imagine going into school and all the kids know your poo was shared with strangers when mum cleaned it for views. Im conflicted here, am I a horrible judgey person and need to remember that as long as kids are loved, fed, clean and not abused everything else is fine or, nope Brenda, people shouldn’t be sharing their children’s poo stains for views and should probably be cleaning the poo once it’s exited the arse.
YANBU - don’t show the world you're a scruffy mare.
YABU - share it’s ok to have a disgusting home, let’s normalise it.