The nicer the parents, the worse the kids

[Listentothatwindhowl]

I have a job where I’m regularly at people’s houses working with children. I have noticed that the more I like the parents-friendly, down to earth, kind, relaxed, just generally a very good aura/vibe…their children are really not nice 😬 rude and cheeky and nor very likeable
These parents are not particularly lax or lacking in discipline
It’s just a pattern I’ve noticed

Maybe we should all start being arseholes to protect the next generation.

I have not noticed this at all!! Probably the opposite if I have to think about it!

Nope, not noticed that at all. I have three kids and used to childmind so been around loads of families. Why are you working with the children?

Well in my small study of my own family and friends - absolute BS!

We are all lovely and have lovely children thanks!

I would say the opposite

Are you seeing them for only an hour or only at the end of the school day?
I’m generally told that my children are delightful but they definitely have small outbreaks of awful behaviour that are harder to correct with a relative stranger in the house.

Nonsense

Mm I’m not sure this is a pattern I’ve ever noticed. Well I am sure, it’s not a pattern I’ve ever noticed! Quite the opposite in fact, so often I’ll meet a kids parents having met the child first, or vice versa, and just think ‘ahhh it all makes sense!’ one way or another.

Interesting. This is the opposite of what I’ve noticed!

I know what you mean and there does seem to be some sort of correlation.

In our friendship group the 2 sets of worst behaved children have the loveliest parents (fans of gentle parenting). I don't think it's always true as if you have children with calm biddable sunny personalities then gentle or permissive parenting can be a good match = lovely parents and lovely children. But more challenging children sometimes benefit from a firmer approach and if they dont get it you find challenging children running rings around lovely parents.

That's not been my experience overall. There's always exceptions but in general the parents who are warm, friendly and and down to earth have children who are delightful. Parents who are very rigid, aggressive or otherwise unpleasant tend to have children who are either absolute terrors or are anxious/depressed.

Are the kids spoilt perhaps? Or the parents too relaxed and not parenting them?