Nursery won't tell me child's friends name

[GentleKhakiWasp]

No idea why not.

Their picture and name is on a peg....

I don't have any issues at nursery. Behaviour is generally ok. It's just one member of staff that I asked.

I was trying to take more of an active role in child's nursery life and wanted to talk to him about his friends - especially as he's going to a party.

Aibu

Ask your child 🤷‍♀️

GDPR it has changed a lot since my DD started 12 years ago when you did get a list now they can’t.

They are trying to cover their behinds to avoid any accusations of breaking any privacy laws. Your child should be able to tell you the name of his/her friend of not you connect with the parents at the party and develop a relationship outside the nursery.

Wouldn't your child know?

Ask your child

Some children don't/ won't talk about it.

My (autistic, but not diagnosed for until the junior school years) son has never volunteered information about his nursery/ school life. Even at secondary, I only know two friends' names because one, we happen to see at a sports activity and he finally admitted that he knew his friend and the other was from a bit of Columbo style detecting involving a bus stop and a small family business.
He doesn't contact them out of school and they're not saved on his phone.

It's hard when you don't know what friends your child has and if there's any issues and there's no information to give you a foothold into conversation without it feeling like an interrogation that shuts communication down even further.

School just generally saying it's all ok and there's no issues is not reassuring when they can't recognise autism when it's presented to them with an NHS letterhead and you've seen evidence of them brushing issues off such as ignoring sensory distress.

It was really difficult when DS was young and undiagnosed, never having a clue as to how socially settled he was.

What privacy laws? The name of the child with a picture is on the peg

1 year olds generally don't talk

They generally don’t have friends either

In the short term you can just say "your friend" then as you get to know the other parents and their kids you will be able to start using names.

If you are looking at a picture and name on a peg, why do you need the staff to tell you ?

Seems like a weird rule and utterly pointless. Maybe the member of staff didn’t know? I’d try asking another member of staff who might know your child better.

Even so I don’t fully understand the problem. So you know the children’s names but want to know which children specifically your child is friendly with? How many are in the class, is it that hard to remember a few names and faces in preparation for the party? Your child is bound to be friendly with at least one of them.

They will gravitate to the children they like and I don’t really see it being problematic to ask their parent what their child’s name is. You’re still making the effort you want to make by doing this. Is your child not friends with the child throwing the party?

How old is your child? If they can point then they start to give you clues about who they like. My child is nearly two and now walks around the pegs naming everyone, from this it’s fairly easy to gauge who he spends time with. Most of the children do this.

Do you not speak to any parents at pick up or drop off? Surely you can just have a little chat here and there and start to get to know the parents and in turn, the children.

So you can see the pegs and the pictures but you don't know which one is your child's friend? I think you'll work it out soon enough, you'll see who he is with at pick up most often etc

If the name of the child is on a picture on the peg why is she asking the staff??? I guess she is asking for more details than is on the peg like full name etc

Again why can't her child tell her his/her friends name?

How does your child get invited to a party and you don't know the child's name? Why can't you figure out their name if their name and picture is on their peg. Why can't you ask your child??

Alot of assumptions.

My nursery has 35 children enrolled in the toddler room (2 and above). Some attend for the 15/30 free hours and some attend later and leave earlier. The nursery will also permit door pick up at 5.30pm, so come after that and it's not inside pickup.

I'm not sure how you are supposed to make friends with nursery parents when you all don't have to be there at a set time, like school, and also everyone is generally going to work, so not going to hang around.

So yeah I think it's rude for the staff to not give a couple of names of children, especially as they are spending so much time there.

Gdpr - what gdpr. Are we known as Employee365 at work? A first name is more than adequate to be shared, especially if toddler is having settling in issues.

I think the poster means they have been invited to a party and don't want to be there being "so do you go to my child's nursery, first time I've seen you". They would rather be like "oh yes Johnny speaks about playing with X"