Society needs a whole shake up to rid ourselves of the patriarchy. We know that most women and girls are abused by men they know - family, partners, friends etc and it is swept under the carpet unless it’s a stranger. And even then we don’t deal with it well.
I remember a childhood friend was raped by her cousin around age 12. She coped by engaging in sex with basically anyone who was interested, and she was well known in our neighbourhood for having a lot of sexual partners way before she was 16. Her family knew and didn’t report the relative.
A couple of years later she was assaulted by a vile local (Asian) shopkeeper who thought he could take advantage of her since he knew her “reputation” .
She managed to flee the shop and told her Dad. He was all guns blazing talking about “p#%$ bastards” and did report him
to the police (rightly so of course). I thought okay where was that anger and action for your nephew who was your daughter’s first abuser?
We need to stop raising men of all stripes to think they can take what they want to satisfy their own desires and ego and need for control. When I was a teacher I didn’t tolerate the “boys will boys” schtick. I expected manners and kindness and decorum from all my students!
And this may be unpopular but we also need to raise women not to value men or “family” as much as they do.
I used to work in social services and you’d be amazed at how many mothers turn a blind eye to abuse of their children to keep a man or think nothing of starting a relationship with a sex offender and having risky men in their home. We see it on here all the time, women in these pathetic yet dangerous relationships.
We need to stop this depiction of marriage and motherhood as the ultimate goal and singlehood as being sad. We have to push back against these narratives which are bubbling up by right wing podcasters and politicians about how women need to have more kids to provide more workers for capitalism basically, and how this is a woman’s highest calling blah blah
Because currently with the way women are raised and the way society operates and the messages it sends, it’s no wonder so many women don’t recognise red flags or stay with violent men and tolerate all sorts to cling on to the promise of a man. We are told we must get a man by all means or our lives are a waste.
These women are victims as well of course, victims of the patriarchy. Society needs an overhaul.