Want to end friendship over lying about affair

[Easylife1]

My friend split up from her husband a year ago. I was there as a shoulder to cry on for months. About 9 months ago she met a new man - i was happy for her. Since then she has distanced herself from me and now i have found out (with 100% proof) that she was actually having an affair with him before the split from her husband. AIBU to end this friendship as I feel I have been taken for a fool when she played the ‘poor me’ card (she even made me think her husband was the one having an affair when they first split). I feel used.

Sounds like she’s already ended it

To be fair, looks like she's ended it already

You’re not unreasonable at all, she probably distanced herself from you because she’s embarrassed. You should protect your own peace and if she isn’t being a good friend then you don’t have to keep trying

Yanbu, I dropped a friend for something similar. Was actually disgusted at how she made herself such a victim.

Yes this. She must be mortified. But I would absolutely keep your distance. What a twat.

She's already distanced herself so you probably don't need to do anything.

Thanks everyone, I’m just struggling as it is a 25year friendship and I’m hurt as to how/why she lied to me. But ultimately I can’t condone what she has done even though it is her life (i’ve known her husband for just as long) so I will just be civil if I see her but step back from the friendship

YANBU to be upset but don't throw away 25 year friendship. After a while, tell her how you feel and allow her to apologise.

I had the exact situation some years ago. My friend distanced herself from me too. I think it was pure embarrassment among other things.
A couple of years passed and we got back in touch. I told her about how her her past actions affected me. I actually ended up being her bridesmaid!
It's all water under the bridge now. We are best mates again. We do talk about that period quite often. She is quite mortified about her past behaviour. We now laugh about and all is forgiven.
Give yourselves time.
I don't blame you for walking away. I also felt very hurt and deceived.
In time though, you may well be back to how you were as good friends.

She has already dumped you.

I agree with everyone else that she has already ended the friendship and moved on. Time to accept that and try to stop dwelling.

She doesnt deserve you as a friend - sounds like she was using you to convince herself and people you both knew, that she was a victim. You dont need friends like that.