DD’s new employer taking advantage

[hamsalads5]

DD18, who will soon turn 19, has just finished working at the local nursery. She was planning to get her qualifications and then search for a nanny job (better pay and opportunities). Nanny positions aren’t too common around here, so she was considering moving, ideally to London where there are more opportunities. We also have family there. However, a local family reached out to her, looking for someone to care for their 3 kids.

She’s done a few trial sessions with them, spent some time with the kids, and they want her to stay on permanently. There are a few red flags that worry me though.

First off, they want her to be self employed. From what I understand, she can’t be self employed unless she sets her own hours, pay, holidays, etc, which isn’t the case here. They want her on specific days and have already decided her pay. It feels like they’re trying to dodge their responsibilities as employers, like paying national insurance and pension contributions. Secondly, they’ve mentioned an hourly rate of £16, but DD will have to cover any activity costs herself. With 3 kids, that could really add up. A trip to the zoo could easily cost £70-£80?! Plus, DD won’t have a clear idea of her monthly earnings since it’ll depend on how many activities they do. How is anyone supposed to live like that? Shouldn’t expenses be separate and not included in the hourly rate?

I know that she’s an adult and needs to handle this on her own. Ultimately, it’s her choice whether to continue, but this couple is in their 40s and clearly knows what they’re doing, taking advantage of a young and inexperienced woman, in my opinion. AIBU?

There is a legal precedent. The only type of nannies who can legally be self employed are ad hoc ones such as those who provide sick cover or maternity nannies contracted for 2-3 weeks at a time.

They are trying to shirk their responsibilities.

Also, even if self-employed was ok (which it’s not) £16 per hour as self employed does not equal the same as £16 per hour on PAYE. When you take into consideration holiday pay, sick pay, national insurance, pension etc, a general rule of thumb is that you need to add a third on as a minimum.

So ignoring all the other massive red flags, the pay rate they have suggested isn’t any better than minimum wage (less than, in fact, than the 21+ rate)

It's likely not legal so she should be very wary. Get her to take a look at a nanny legal website like https://www.nannytax.co.uk/self-employment and see what they say about it. They also have a lot of info on things like contracts, pay etc which will be eye opening.
Employing a nanny is a responsibility, if the family are not taking this seriously and providing her with a proper setup then she is best off looking elsewhere. It will only get worse once they realise they can take advantage of her.

They sound exploitative. An additional concern is insurance. If she's doing this on a self employed basis (and I agree the circumstances mean this should not be a SE role anyway) then she should have professional indemnity insurance. I presume they'll expect her to shell out for that too?
And as they are insisting she's not an employee they won't have EL insurance in place to protect her if she has a workplace accident etc.

If they are taking the piss this much now they will be even worse once she starts. Parents working late and expecting her to cover extra hours from her "great pay". Expecting her to cook and clean as well because of her "great pay"?

Agree she should stick with the London plan and sign up with a local agency in the meantime for some ad hoc jobs and experience with sensible protections in place.

Nannies don't have to register with Ofsted - they can choose to, but that's on the "voluntary" part of the Childcare Register (the clue is in the name). It then lets parents use tax credits etc.

https://earlyyears.blog.gov.uk/2025/07/11/nannies-what-you-need-to-know/

This family sound like opportunistic so-and-sos trying to get childcare on the cheap!

They sound ghastly.

OK you dd may officially be an adult but there are times when we as parents need to step in and educate our children about the world, and 18 does not represent an automatic cut off from parental responsibilities; you move from being a carer and rule maker to more of an advisor and mentor. I still advise my DDs on their interviews and CVs etc and they are in their twenties!

So absolutely you must step in and steer your dd away from this scenario. Even if these parents start to play ball, they have already shown their colours as piss takers willing to take advantage of a young and probably impressionable adult.

They cant decide to set her rate at £16 an hour and then say we are not employers.

How many tradesmen (who are self employed) do you get in for a quote to do any job and say "i'm paying you £20 an hour, should be 2 hours so £40".

Er no. This is the height of CF, trying to dodge their responsibility as an employer. Run far away very quickly. This wont be the only problem with them, gold standard expectations on a shoe string budget.

Agree with everybody else- run a mile.

She would not fit the criteria for self employment in the situation you describe.

She should not be paying for activities for kids from her wages.

I’m assuming this family is either naive or stupid. Even if you set aside the self employment issues they would be setting themselves up to be caught out by an NMW failure. Yes £16 an hour is higher than the £10 an hour NMW but as you say with 3 children even an afternoon trip to soft play and lunches could be £40-50, suddenly that £16 an hour becomes more like £6 an hour with those costs deducted and she’d have an NMW claim.

There is a huge tax risk for your DD here. Under these circumstances, she is legally obliged to be employed "Inside IR35", which means employer's NI (at 15%) needs to be paid as well as being paid PAYE with her taxes deducted at source. If she goes self-employed (outside IR35), which is anyway illegal in this circumstance, she will be liable to pay all taxes (including the employer's NI) as well as penalties, fines and potential prosecution if caught. Don't touch this with a bargepole unless she wants a very large tax bill she cannot pay. She should use the CEST tool on the HMRC website if she doesn't believe me.

I know a business owner who forces her young workers to go ‘self employed’ yet sets their wage and hours and tells them when they can and can’t take holidays. Basically she just doesn’t want to pay their NI contributions and pension. If it’s ever raised with her she just states that she’ll have to shut the business and let everyone go if they want to go employed because she can’t afford it.

People like take advantage of young people, who often know no different and as a result don’t question it.

Please try and guide your DD away from this job.

The nanny should not be paying for trips to anywhere. Both her and the kids transport and entry to any activity or event is covered by parents. Definitely kids food and drink and possibly the nanny's also.

It does sound dodgy. You're right that if SE she can work for multiple families and choose when and where she works. And do her own taxes and set her own fees.

To some people who are established and wish to work in this way that should be their own choice. Not imposed on them by an employer.

You are the one who chooses to be self employed, not because someone tells you to.

She should run a mile for all the reasons that have been mentioned already.

i disagree that you need to let her handle this. As a minimum you should coach her on how to manage but honestly as a mother of young adults I would have no hesitation in inserting myself into a situation like this. The family are behaving outrageously

Tell them to do one. No way in hell should she be covering expenses related to the children. This makes me so mad that they are trying to take advantage of a young person like that. Good on you for having her back, OP.

Well, £16 an hour isn't really £16 an hour if she's having to pay her own insurance and holiday pay from this!

The idea of her paying for activities is insanity. Why would she do that? If the parents aren't paying, the dc get free activities.

I wouldn't touch this with a barge pole tbh.

I know she is an adult but you need to step in here as she is very naive if she is even considering this.

She will end up working for less than minimum wage, maybe for nothing some weeks if the family insists on lots of activities. It is utterly insane to have her pay for the kid’s activities. She will also be illegally pretending to be self employed when she is not, and she is the one who will get in trouble for that.

This is a terrible job. And you need to step in and talk her out of it. I’d go as far as speaking to the couple myself to tell them all the ways they are breaking the law - fake self employment to avoid their responsibilities and paying less than minimum wage once activities are taken off.

She is still your kid and even as an adult, they sometimes need the help of a parent with life experience. Help her.

‘Job’’s a rip-off, run.

The National Nanny Assn will put DD right and tell her what she should ask for - and get- in her first job.

They are absolutely ripping her off. Red flags from a mile away.

The "you can be self-employed" line is a pretty common dodge, sometimes based on a misunderstanding of the law and sometimes based on people actively dodging responsibilities.

Expenses are always separate. I've had a system where I leave cash for the nanny and they leave receipts. Some people give the nanny a pre-paid cash card. I also cover milage if the nanny drives children to activities. Higher pay but including expenses is a terrible system - what if your DD said she was only walking them to the park or not going anywhere? It could also potentially take her below minimum wage.

Good nannies are hard to find and good families will pay decent rates. I think your DD's original plans of getting her qualifications then seeking work with a family is a good one.

They are totally unreasonable. My DD is a nanny and has a nanny card that the parents top up for activities. For 3 children that isn’t a brilliant wage. Hold out for a London job. Great pay live in or out. SW London has a fantastic family and nanny vibe with lots of families with pre school children. She’d make lots of nanny friends somewhere like that too.