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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

House selling woes....again

58 replies

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 09:04

Hi everyone,

I posted a thread a few months ago about my struggles to sell. It took 5 months of viewings and flaky offers to get a proper offer 10k under asking for the buyer to pull out a month later. In that time we found our ideal house in a great location and had an offer accepted on that. It was sheer luck the house was due to come back on the market - it's one we viewed many months before when we had another buyer.

Anyway, the vendors of the new house have kindly given us time to find a buyer and with no set time limit. I'm sure if we take too long though they'll start getting frustrated, and I don't blame them!

House is back on the market as of last week for 20k under the last price. We've had one viewing and no other enquires. For context my partner bought the house in 2022 south west London at the absolute peak and I'm sure overpaid for it. We're on the market for offers over 580k (yes I know offers over is a mistake). House next door sold for 600 middle of last year and another on the road is on for 600 currently. I don't believe we're far off the mark but it's only worth what someone will pay!

To keep the current house we're trying to buy and to speed things along estate agent thinks we should reduce to 570...or something similar. My partner is so hesitant to do this as she's got a figure in her head and sees it as losing money. I've offered to make up for the loss in the next house and pay the difference. I've also pointed out if we were to take say 20k less it's not a life changing amount. We're very lucky that we have a large deposit and even with this loss we'd both be able to work part time in a better area and in a house with so much more space. I'm not really sure what else to do. It feels like at this rate we will be hanging on another 6 months for a buyer and who knows what prices will do! We've also already spent a few thousand on solicitor fees and a survey so that currently feels like money down the drain.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

OP posts:
CautiousLurker2 · 11/02/2026 16:04

We’re on other side and buying in London. Just got docs from sellers solicitor and they are selling to us at 12% less than they bought it for. Though we are jot selling our main home the valuation has gone down by 5% since last year. If you are selling just now you are at the bottom end of the market - a good estate agent should be able to explain/persuade your partner of this. As others say he needs to understand that he hasn't lost any money, just may not make as much as he’d have liked.

It does mean that you can negotiate on the house you want to buy, though.

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:05

@MrsWallers Ive noticed prices softening near me & when you account for inflation some property has stagnated or fallen. I think it makes sense though because historically equity drove so much of the market but flats have stagnated for years & salaries can’t always make up the gap.

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 16:06

yes I know offers over is a mistake

Well, there's the first thing to change.

If properties on your street are selling for significantly more than you can get for yours (you say one is on for £600k but has it sold?) then I can only assume there's some difference between them if they're the same size etc; have they done things to add value that you don't have?

AnnieRegent · 11/02/2026 16:08

Hi OP, my partner and I sold his flat last year so that we could buy a house. We had to sell the flat for £40k less than he paid for it. He found it a very bitter pill to swallow. He did however eventually accept that this was the price to be paid for moving on with our lives, and he doesn't regret selling it. Very happy in our new house.

I would be sensitive to any sense of shame that your partner might be feeling. Mine ultimately agreed that it was a price worth paying. It also helped that we knew a few people in the same situation, though making smaller losses mostly. It's not uncommon right now in London.

I also reminded him, many times, that we were very fortunate that we could swallow the loss, though I'm not sure that helped.

It also doesn't help if you're of an age where you've spent your whole life being told by older relatives to get on the ladder as soon as possible, prices can only go up!!! Alas.

GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 16:08

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 15:54

We are talking zone 4 though, New Malden if you've ever heard of it. Near Kingston!
I think part of the problem is buyers are typically going to be first time buyers who probably don't want to spend that much....and fair enough

I used to work in Kingston, know the area well. Thanks for clarifying and sorry if I was a bit brief, just looking for context in between doing stuff here!

GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 16:10

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:03

SW London isn’t just Clapham etc!

It is if you bung it into rightmove as a search criteria.

OP has clarified the area now anyway, one I know well.

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:14

And there are plenty of flats in SW London for under 600k 😆

GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 16:23

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:14

And there are plenty of flats in SW London for under 600k 😆

Not if you put 600 in your search criteria for comparisons. But crack on and sift through everything if that’s what you want to do.

OP, my DC has just completed on one not too far from you for 400k which as a couple with decent jobs was their max. So I think you’re right about 580k being a bit of a stretch for most first timers.

I think I’d wait and quietly see how those others do too for now, facts might help persuade your partner. Sure it’s a lovely house, and the area is good for a professional single or young couple on their next step.

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:29

I live & work in SW London so I can see with my own eyes, why would I need to sift through anything?! I’m not sure why correcting you that parts of SW London have houses for 600k & flats for less has upset you so much!

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:29

ThatCyanCat · 11/02/2026 16:06

yes I know offers over is a mistake

Well, there's the first thing to change.

If properties on your street are selling for significantly more than you can get for yours (you say one is on for £600k but has it sold?) then I can only assume there's some difference between them if they're the same size etc; have they done things to add value that you don't have?

I've just asked the estate agent what they think about removing it.

So the house right next door sold for 600 just before ours went on the market. Same house and similar condition. But honestly I think they got lucky!

OP posts:
MrsWallers · 11/02/2026 16:30

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:01

Ah that is painful! Where in SW London are you? Our area seems particularly bad at the moment. We're moving to south east London and most houses are under offer within a few weeks.

Its a KT Postcode like you
We have given up for now partly because the stamp duty is utterly eye watering

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:31

I think offers over puts buyers off, personally I don’t like it.

Your neighbours may have just got lucky with someone willing to pay that. I’m sure if you waited you could get a higher price but it’s the waiting that’s the problem, life needs to move on.

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:32

AnnieRegent · 11/02/2026 16:08

Hi OP, my partner and I sold his flat last year so that we could buy a house. We had to sell the flat for £40k less than he paid for it. He found it a very bitter pill to swallow. He did however eventually accept that this was the price to be paid for moving on with our lives, and he doesn't regret selling it. Very happy in our new house.

I would be sensitive to any sense of shame that your partner might be feeling. Mine ultimately agreed that it was a price worth paying. It also helped that we knew a few people in the same situation, though making smaller losses mostly. It's not uncommon right now in London.

I also reminded him, many times, that we were very fortunate that we could swallow the loss, though I'm not sure that helped.

It also doesn't help if you're of an age where you've spent your whole life being told by older relatives to get on the ladder as soon as possible, prices can only go up!!! Alas.

At what point did your partner settle on the idea of selling for less? Mine is very skeptical and as it's inherited money doesn't want to waste it.

I'm sure a year down the line in our new house it won't matter. Plus as we're buying together it means I can take on some of the financial burden of it all.

Last night I said she can have all my money if we just move 😂

OP posts:
treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:32

@MrsWallers I want to move in the next few years and the stamp duty is indeed prohibitive.

MrsWallers · 11/02/2026 16:37

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:32

@MrsWallers I want to move in the next few years and the stamp duty is indeed prohibitive.

Not to get off topic but I have 2 older Fabulous DS age 19 and 22 and I want to be able to help them later so if I spend loads on Stamp that will impact that etc

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:37

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:31

I think offers over puts buyers off, personally I don’t like it.

Your neighbours may have just got lucky with someone willing to pay that. I’m sure if you waited you could get a higher price but it’s the waiting that’s the problem, life needs to move on.

Yeah totally agree. I think as the last buyer offered 590 she clung onto the idea so we've ended up with offers over. Baring in mind it took 5 long months for this offer to materialise!

Yeah I think they did. Chances are we could wait another 6 months for a higher offer but what's the point. We've already had 6 months of stress

OP posts:
Onetimeusername1 · 11/02/2026 16:39

Are you not also paying less for your new house than you would have if it had been on the market the same time as your partner bought hers? Can you couch it in those terms?

RollOnSunshine · 11/02/2026 16:39

Offers over £550k and see what interest you get.

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:44

GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 16:23

Not if you put 600 in your search criteria for comparisons. But crack on and sift through everything if that’s what you want to do.

OP, my DC has just completed on one not too far from you for 400k which as a couple with decent jobs was their max. So I think you’re right about 580k being a bit of a stretch for most first timers.

I think I’d wait and quietly see how those others do too for now, facts might help persuade your partner. Sure it’s a lovely house, and the area is good for a professional single or young couple on their next step.

Where abouts just out of interest?

I think that's making it more tricky. Why would a first time buyer spend a load more for probably the same size house. When I bought my first place in 2018 it was the same size house for £330k in south east London. South west London has some crazy prices!

The last buyers were a young couple and most of the viewings we have are so fingers crossed it appeals.

OP posts:
GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 17:36

treeowl · 11/02/2026 16:29

I live & work in SW London so I can see with my own eyes, why would I need to sift through anything?! I’m not sure why correcting you that parts of SW London have houses for 600k & flats for less has upset you so much!

Forget it, can’t be arsed with people looking for a row. Not fair on OP.

GertieLawrence · 11/02/2026 17:40

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:44

Where abouts just out of interest?

I think that's making it more tricky. Why would a first time buyer spend a load more for probably the same size house. When I bought my first place in 2018 it was the same size house for £330k in south east London. South west London has some crazy prices!

The last buyers were a young couple and most of the viewings we have are so fingers crossed it appeals.

Ah, it was an apartment not a house. I meant that was what they could afford with their budget, much as they’d love a house with garden.

Location is zone 3.

AnnieRegent · 11/02/2026 18:37

Ep9993 · 11/02/2026 16:32

At what point did your partner settle on the idea of selling for less? Mine is very skeptical and as it's inherited money doesn't want to waste it.

I'm sure a year down the line in our new house it won't matter. Plus as we're buying together it means I can take on some of the financial burden of it all.

Last night I said she can have all my money if we just move 😂

I think tbf he knew it was coming, he knew he’d overpaid in the first place.

I see you’ve owned a property before, did you make a profit on it? Any chance you can argue your case by netting your profit against her loss to come up with an overall profit or smaller loss?

treeowl · 11/02/2026 18:40

@Ep9993 this is anecdotal obviously but a few of my younger relatives & colleagues have skipped the flat stage and bought houses as FTBs. So instead of the z2/3 flat then have gone for the z4 house. It makes sense for some depending upon age, life stage & plans etc plus moving is so expensive now.

MrsWallers · 12/02/2026 07:57

treeowl · 11/02/2026 18:40

@Ep9993 this is anecdotal obviously but a few of my younger relatives & colleagues have skipped the flat stage and bought houses as FTBs. So instead of the z2/3 flat then have gone for the z4 house. It makes sense for some depending upon age, life stage & plans etc plus moving is so expensive now.

My DH has said exactly this for our older DS
The flat market is a nightmare now with all the charges and leasehold issues
Almost 10K a year before a mortgage when we look at them
Such a shame and they can work well for people that dont want all the reposnsibilty of house maintenance

Londonrach1 · 12/02/2026 08:04

I know the area well as we've escaped as couldn't afford to buy in Kingston but know from Friends the market is vvvv slow. Talk to your partner as it's the next house not this one that matters. Good luck