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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The NHS. We need to fight to keep it.

647 replies

Differentforgirls · 10/02/2026 18:50

My Mil is 87. Last year (around September) she was bleeding from her vagina and went to her GP.

The GP referred her to hospital for tests, which she got quickly.

It was cancerous polyps in her womb so she got further tests to ensure they hadn’t spread and was referred for surgery.

Tonight she has been discharged from hospital after numerous tests over the intervening months and a surgery yesterday (keyhole).

She’ll get follow up treatment too.

All NHS, where she has been treated with dignity, respect and kindness.

It might not be what it was due to cuts but it’s still something we should be proud of.

She’ll celebrate her 88th birthday next month, as an OAP in social housing with nothing but her pension, because of the NHS.

AIBU for thinking the NHS is something to be proud of and fight to keep?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 09:56

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 09:49

I don’t know why you’re taking this so personally or what it has to do with my MIL getting keyhole surgery and spending the night in hospital until she had passed water enough.

I signed a DNR for my dad if that helps?

I am not taking it personally

You started a conversation on a forum, I am partaking in a conversation.

Misnofitness · 11/02/2026 09:56

That’s great for you. I had to make a formal complaint to my local trust as I was treated like utter shit. There are multiple different experiences people will have. Really glad your mum had a good experience. And I’m sorry for all the people like me who were treated abysmally and their lives put at risk

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 09:57

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 09:54

I did. My brother wouldn’t do it for months until I went mental at him. My dad was in a locked ward with initially a delirium, then dementia and was in constant distress.

He eventually signed.

The decision had already been taken by staff, you were signing that a discussion had been had.

Even if you hadn't signed, it is a medical decision

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 09:58

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 09:56

I am not taking it personally

You started a conversation on a forum, I am partaking in a conversation.

Ok but obviously I’m taking it personally as I love my MIL and she’s fit and healthy otherwise.

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:00

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 09:57

The decision had already been taken by staff, you were signing that a discussion had been had.

Even if you hadn't signed, it is a medical decision

Didn’t need to use it anyway, he stopped eating and drinking and died. It was a relief tbh.

OP posts:
OhDear111 · 11/02/2026 10:00

It is not wrong to look at other countries to see how they do health care better. Just sticking our heads in the NHS gross sandpit is utterly stupid. We lack politicked to tackle the nhs issues and we have elevated it to God status. In msny areas it’s poor and failing. We need a massive rethink on what it does and who pays for it.

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 10:01

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 09:58

Ok but obviously I’m taking it personally as I love my MIL and she’s fit and healthy otherwise.

And I am being objective as I have no ties to your MIL or the patients I look after, you can't be as you're emotionally involved.

Seeingadistance · 11/02/2026 10:02

My DM paid for cataract surgery which was carried out quickly and efficiently. The surgeon also works for the NHS and commented to my DM
that he can do so many operations privately because he “doesn’t have to speak to the patients”. That may sound cold and heartless to some but the reality is that his private clinic is set up to run effectively with minimal waste of time and resources. The surgeons perform surgery, other staff in the private clinic have clearly defined roles which mean that patients are moved swiftly from beginning to end of treatment.

The NHS would surely benefit from adopting the more efficient methods already shown to be working well in private practice.

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/02/2026 10:02

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:00

Didn’t need to use it anyway, he stopped eating and drinking and died. It was a relief tbh.

I am just trying to point out that even though you have signed, you 're not making that decision. It had already been made.

BIossomtoes · 11/02/2026 10:07

Seeingadistance · 11/02/2026 09:40

They might come to regret that decision. I know a lot of people in their 70s and 80s who have gone privately to ensure good quality of life while they still have it. Mostly for cataract, knee and hip surgery.

All of which can be self insured. I paid for cataract surgery, the cost of which equated to less than a year’s insurance premiums. We’re very clear that if we need hip/knee replacement we’ll pay unless waiting lists fall significantly but we’re not going to stuff an insurance company with money we’re unlikely to ever see back. It’s better to stash the equivalent amount away and get some interest on it.

Seeingadistance · 11/02/2026 10:12

BIossomtoes · 11/02/2026 10:07

All of which can be self insured. I paid for cataract surgery, the cost of which equated to less than a year’s insurance premiums. We’re very clear that if we need hip/knee replacement we’ll pay unless waiting lists fall significantly but we’re not going to stuff an insurance company with money we’re unlikely to ever see back. It’s better to stash the equivalent amount away and get some interest on it.

Good point.

HoppityBun · 11/02/2026 10:12

I don’t know what you mean by “fight” to keep it so I can’t vote.

Have you joined a campaign such as https://keepournhspublic.com ?

Keep Our NHS Public

https://keepournhspublic.com

SaturdayNext · 11/02/2026 10:14

The NHS saved my brother's life two years ago when his heart stopped beating, and he had care which would have cost hundreds of thousands of pounds in other countries at no charge at all. They also detected my sister's gestational diabetes early and gave supreme care for that, resulting ultimately in the safe delivery of a healthy son. A few years ago they saved the sight in one of my eyes when I had serious shingles in it.

I know it's not at all perfect but yes, we have to keep it, which means we have to make sure that Reform never get anywhere near government.

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:14

HoppityBun · 11/02/2026 10:12

I don’t know what you mean by “fight” to keep it so I can’t vote.

Have you joined a campaign such as https://keepournhspublic.com ?

Explained earlier in the thread.

OP posts:
Pinkday · 11/02/2026 10:19

BIossomtoes · 11/02/2026 09:34

Are you sure? Private health insurance for older people is eyewateringly expensive. It’s better to stash the money away and self insure once you’re past a certain age.

You may well be right ..I think their plan may be to pay private as and when they need it ..nice for those that can afford to do that

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:20

SaturdayNext · 11/02/2026 10:14

The NHS saved my brother's life two years ago when his heart stopped beating, and he had care which would have cost hundreds of thousands of pounds in other countries at no charge at all. They also detected my sister's gestational diabetes early and gave supreme care for that, resulting ultimately in the safe delivery of a healthy son. A few years ago they saved the sight in one of my eyes when I had serious shingles in it.

I know it's not at all perfect but yes, we have to keep it, which means we have to make sure that Reform never get anywhere near government.

Agree

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 11/02/2026 10:21

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 11/02/2026 09:37

I think this was always the Tories' plan and it's worrying to see so many MNers falling for it. The UK simply doesn't spend as much per person on healthcare as France, Germany, the Netherlands etc. Yet, posters keep repeating that spending more on the NHS via general taxation wouldn't solve anything as the NHS is flawed. However, the same posters think switching to a hybrid system of funding involving health insurance companies would magically make the NHS more efficient. This is illogical.

It is not illogical.

please note that I am an economist by training and I do not necessarily agree with the full argument I am about to make.

healthcare is an industry. There are lots of different parts of it.

In the U.K. we largely now have privatised dentistry. All dentist practices are private companies and some accept nhs patients. Some accept nhs adult patients. More accept nhs child patients and adults only privately. Some only take private patients.

many practices now offer a pay monthly service which they’ve contracted out to someone like Denplan so you pay a monthly fee of usually somewhere around 20-30 quid a month and it covers you for eg routine care, two hygienist visits and so on.

if you are paying the monthly fee then your treatment is free at the point of care (because you’ve already paid for it).

now you can choose your level of care. If you just want routine check ups, no hygienist etc you can usually choose a lower level of payments. If you want hygienist visits, inclusion of tooth removal if needed etc then you pay more.

what’s important about this system is that

a) there is a level of individual choice over the coverage that you want - a bit like insurance - pay more per month but then when you need a wisdom tooth out it is covered

b) this means that the dental practices that are providing the care are subject to a certain amount of customer pressure. If people think that a dental practice does not give good care they will go to a different one.

so the dental practices in the U.K. have polite receptionists. They text you your appointment. You can make your appointment online. Some offer opening 7 days a week. They respond to that pressure.

general medical care by contrast does not have this. It is quite common in the U.K. that people go private for an operation or for an episode of healthcare not because the wait is too long (although it often is) but because the nhs will not even put them on the waiting list.

for example, a friend of my mothers needs a knee replacement, his gp has referred him. The nhs will not put him on the waiting list because he is too young and if they do it now he will probably need another knee replacement before he dies while is not cost effective.

in a reimbursement system these sorts of situations - age restrictions, cost restrictions - are less likely to be around.

the nhs is seen simply as a cost to be kept down. If healthcare instead is seen as something people buy and the state gives you (most/all/some) of the money back depending on what you needed then a lot more healthcare is provided and arguably at a better standard.

the trick which the European countries have is that for some providers full costs and covered. So your pensioner or low income person can go there in full knowledge it’ll all be covered.

BIossomtoes · 11/02/2026 10:22

Pinkday · 11/02/2026 10:19

You may well be right ..I think their plan may be to pay private as and when they need it ..nice for those that can afford to do that

I don’t understand the snide comment, it’s probably cheaper than paying elevated insurance premiums. Why wouldn’t they do some sensible financial planning?

Pinkday · 11/02/2026 10:25

Seeingadistance · 11/02/2026 10:02

My DM paid for cataract surgery which was carried out quickly and efficiently. The surgeon also works for the NHS and commented to my DM
that he can do so many operations privately because he “doesn’t have to speak to the patients”. That may sound cold and heartless to some but the reality is that his private clinic is set up to run effectively with minimal waste of time and resources. The surgeons perform surgery, other staff in the private clinic have clearly defined roles which mean that patients are moved swiftly from beginning to end of treatment.

The NHS would surely benefit from adopting the more efficient methods already shown to be working well in private practice.

Interesting
So my NHS dentist..who's wonderful by the way ..
So I can't just ho when I have a problem,I have to go every 6 months for a check up .
So I've not needed anything doing for 2 years and had 4 appointments in that time ..then last time I needed a small filling,and I had to wait 6 months to get a filling done ...I don't mind ,I'm greatful,I'm not complaining..but I did ask if I can just come in once every two years for a check up and then ring if I feel pain ..but it was a no ,to stay with NHS I have to have regular appointments

rickyrickygrimes · 11/02/2026 10:25

Pinkday · 11/02/2026 09:30

How much are you paying for this monthly
How does the system work ,in that how do they decide who pays what

There are two systems for reimbursement - public and private.

On the public side, the government decides how much any treatment / test / medication etc 'should' cost, and will usually reimburse up to 70% of the cost to that level. People on low income get 100%. It's means-tested, which is the norm here and I really can't understand why the UK is so resistant to it. Also, Drs / specialists can decide which 'tier' they want to offer - and you can choose a lower tier Dr to keep closer to what the govt will reimburse.

On the private side, virtually everyone has a 'mutuelle', which is insurance that pays the difference between what the govt will reimburse and what it actually costs. Mutuelles can be anything from basic to bells-and-whistles, and which one. you choose depends on what you want / can afford to pay, and what your employer will contribute.

If you are in work, your employer is required to pay 50% of the cost of a mutuelle. So DH's employer pays 52,99€ of his mutuelle, meaning that he pays €52,99 per month directly from his salary. For me and our two boys we have a separate policy and we pay €115 per month for us three. These are top-end mutuelles, meaning that the reimbursements are very generous. We have had multiple surgeries over the years (all done in private clinics i.e. single en suite rooms), hearing aids, glasses, orthodontic and dental treatments, multiple physio sessions, childbirth and wellness checks throughout their childhood, annual gynae rdv - you name it. All done in a timely manner, all in clinics / practices within a short distance of our home, all at a time of our choosing - and virtually all reimbursed. I think the most expensive thing we've had to fork out for has been dental - DH had to have multiple (I think 6 or 7) old fillings removed and modern crowns put on - that cost a few hundred out of pocket. I think when I gave birth to DS2 I as in a private clinic, own en suite room, for 5 days (it was a complicated birth), and I think I paid €40 out of my own pocket - the govt and the mutuelle covered everything else.

Again, there are no-cost and very low cost mutuelles, often offered by charities and other associations set up specifically for this purpose, for people on low incomes. French grannies do not end up dying in the street, unless they are really unlucky.

The healthcare system here is just miles ahead in so many ways. E.g. because most services are essentially private, they can be set up wherever the practitioner wants to - they aren't tied to some monolithic out-of-town hospital with terrible parking. I'm city centre, tbf, but within 10 minutes walking distance of my front door I can access my physio (and many others), my GP, the private clinic where we tend to elect for surgery, my gynaecologist, walk-in laboratories for blood and other tests, multiple midwives / nurses / physios / psychologists, imageries (clinics that offer MRI, X-ray, scanner, echography). I can book rdv at any on these online, at my convenience. And yes I might pay up front but it is reimbursed generously and way in excess of the mutuelle premiums that we pay.

Pinkday · 11/02/2026 10:28

rickyrickygrimes · 11/02/2026 10:25

There are two systems for reimbursement - public and private.

On the public side, the government decides how much any treatment / test / medication etc 'should' cost, and will usually reimburse up to 70% of the cost to that level. People on low income get 100%. It's means-tested, which is the norm here and I really can't understand why the UK is so resistant to it. Also, Drs / specialists can decide which 'tier' they want to offer - and you can choose a lower tier Dr to keep closer to what the govt will reimburse.

On the private side, virtually everyone has a 'mutuelle', which is insurance that pays the difference between what the govt will reimburse and what it actually costs. Mutuelles can be anything from basic to bells-and-whistles, and which one. you choose depends on what you want / can afford to pay, and what your employer will contribute.

If you are in work, your employer is required to pay 50% of the cost of a mutuelle. So DH's employer pays 52,99€ of his mutuelle, meaning that he pays €52,99 per month directly from his salary. For me and our two boys we have a separate policy and we pay €115 per month for us three. These are top-end mutuelles, meaning that the reimbursements are very generous. We have had multiple surgeries over the years (all done in private clinics i.e. single en suite rooms), hearing aids, glasses, orthodontic and dental treatments, multiple physio sessions, childbirth and wellness checks throughout their childhood, annual gynae rdv - you name it. All done in a timely manner, all in clinics / practices within a short distance of our home, all at a time of our choosing - and virtually all reimbursed. I think the most expensive thing we've had to fork out for has been dental - DH had to have multiple (I think 6 or 7) old fillings removed and modern crowns put on - that cost a few hundred out of pocket. I think when I gave birth to DS2 I as in a private clinic, own en suite room, for 5 days (it was a complicated birth), and I think I paid €40 out of my own pocket - the govt and the mutuelle covered everything else.

Again, there are no-cost and very low cost mutuelles, often offered by charities and other associations set up specifically for this purpose, for people on low incomes. French grannies do not end up dying in the street, unless they are really unlucky.

The healthcare system here is just miles ahead in so many ways. E.g. because most services are essentially private, they can be set up wherever the practitioner wants to - they aren't tied to some monolithic out-of-town hospital with terrible parking. I'm city centre, tbf, but within 10 minutes walking distance of my front door I can access my physio (and many others), my GP, the private clinic where we tend to elect for surgery, my gynaecologist, walk-in laboratories for blood and other tests, multiple midwives / nurses / physios / psychologists, imageries (clinics that offer MRI, X-ray, scanner, echography). I can book rdv at any on these online, at my convenience. And yes I might pay up front but it is reimbursed generously and way in excess of the mutuelle premiums that we pay.

Edited

I'm not really following that ..brain is not braining today .
I've never seen a gynecologist..could probably do to do .
What about people on full benefits who are disabled and not working,what do they pay and did the benefits go up to cover it

Calliopespa · 11/02/2026 10:34

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 06:58

No but I have read other peoples comments in the thread. Still prefer the NHS.

What is it - in substantive terms - that you are "preferring"?

You are saying you had a fortunate experience - for which I am glad. But what is it about the system that you feel is working? What features commend it to you?

I'm just struggling to feel that a bit of a lottery of experience - sometimes poor but sometimes good - is actually a merit.

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:37

Calliopespa · 11/02/2026 10:34

What is it - in substantive terms - that you are "preferring"?

You are saying you had a fortunate experience - for which I am glad. But what is it about the system that you feel is working? What features commend it to you?

I'm just struggling to feel that a bit of a lottery of experience - sometimes poor but sometimes good - is actually a merit.

I prefer it being free at the point of use for everyone.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 11/02/2026 10:39

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 08:28

Jesus. Had to come back just for that awful post.

Her mother lived until she was 101 and her brother is 91.

Do you think we should put them down like a pet?

Yes, I cannot agree that not saving lives is the way forward for the NHS.

Calliopespa · 11/02/2026 10:42

Differentforgirls · 11/02/2026 10:37

I prefer it being free at the point of use for everyone.

I agree with that for emergency use.

But for everyday appointments, why is paying any different from paying for food or lodgings? It's an expense of self-care and providing for yourself.

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