Neighbour damaged his car on my drive

[lghtnght]

I moved into my new house 3 months ago and after a few weeks, I noticed that the neighbours across the street were reversing onto my property when they left their house. The road is pretty narrow, so they can't really turn around without reversing onto my drive. Plus, another neighbour parks his car (in blue) on the pavement by their house, which makes it harder for them to pull forward and turn around.

It would be much easier if they just reversed onto their own drive and drove out from there. I don't know why they haven't done that yet. I didn't want to start any drama or fall out with them. I had never talked to them before today and wasn't sure how they'd react if I brought it up, so last weekend I decided to put some garden rocks in the corner instead. Just to clarify, they're on my drive, not on the pavement, in case anyone wonders. So, the neighbour knocked on my door earlier and said that his car got damaged because of the rocks. He insists that they were half on the pavement (not true) and half on my drive.

He asked why I didn't tell him I was putting them there so he could avoid driving over them. He said if there was a problem, I should have just talked to him. I told him it's my drive, on my property. Why would I need to inform him? His car wouldn't have been damaged if he wasn't using my drive… He got really aggressive with me, saying that the previous owners never had any issues and that he's going to call the police and a solicitor about the damage to his car. I haven’t heard anything since. I can't believe I'm even writing this. I’m not sure what to do now! I do feel a bit intimidated by him. Am I being unreasonable?

So, if he’d ask the OP if he could use her drive and OP said no, how would that have solved things? Would he have replied ”OK, fine!” Don’t think so.

How does him using her drive benefit everyone - how does it benefit her? How does it benefit the neighbours? How does it benefit the town? How does it benefit me?

Ignore him. He won't get anywhere, he shouldn't have been on your drive. I'm sure he'll not do it again.

exactly!

I can't believe some of the posts on here.
If OP built a fence or a gate at the end of her drive or parked her own car there or bought a huge great big tree, or a nice bench or whatever, would you still expect her to go and tell him about it?

If your neighbour knocked on your door and said "by the way, just wanted to let you know I've put a gate up on my drive" guarantee you be like 'Ok...that's nice...why are you telling me?'

If he's too stupid to notice a pile of great big rocks then he isn't looking properly when he reverses, and could just as easily have backed over a dog/small child/bike or similar if any of them were on OP's drive where, because it's HER drive and not an extension of his, they have a perfect right to be!

You need these and a remote control @lghtnght . I don't know if the gif will work but you get the idea

a) Surely he should have been paying attention to where he was driving;
b) It's the OP's driveway and she can install a scale model of Stonehenge if she so desires.

Oh god lets cut through the usual Mumsnet bollocks. He is being a big man baby who doesn't use his mirrors to reverse and has an enormous sense of entitlement. Of course he can't use your drive and has no right to complain. You are perfectly within your rights to block him from using your drive and no you don't need to inform him.

I'm not at home at the minute, so I can't take any photos of the rocks right now. But here they are! (Just to clarify, this isn't my drive, it's the person I bought the rocks from) Mine is a cream colour, so the rocks are visible imo! I’m not sure why people are acting like they’re invisible!

We’ve got 2 parking posts on our drive for the very same reason as the OP. Shouldn’t have to but there are some ignorant sods around!

I don’t think it was very neighbourly of you to put rocks on your driveway. They can’t have been obvious (eg taller bollards or painted white - which would have been completely reasonable) so you should have known that somebody would damage their car.

Thank you 😊

😂😂😂

For future reference - seeing ankle height objects that are pavement coloured and adjacent to the pavement can be quite difficult in rear view mirrors or on reversing cameras.

I get that you assumed they see them, and notice your passive aggressive action and change their behaviour without you ever needing to interact on the topic. That was naive. Not considering that your plan might not be noticed and that they’d damage their car on them was short sighted.

But overall naive and shortsighted, not arsehole like.

Equally, it’s not unreasonable for your neighbour to be pissed off in the immediate after math that it appears to them that their neighbour has put out obstacles that they know could damage their car, and chose to take that approach rather than talking to them like an adult.

Grey rocks next to grey pavement. Grey rocks on pale drive.

One persons easy to see, one persons stealth hazard.

Wow gaslighting at its finest. Don’t fall for it.

“did you not see my new garden decorations “
“Awh thats a shame. Good job it wasn’t a small child ya Prick”

In all seriousness the grey rock theory is the better option!

For the millionth time the neighbour had no business going on OP’s drive. She could have had a zoo or a swimming pool there, but that’s nothing to do with him!

Yes, like I have a dent in my door because I parked on a road, next to a grass verge between the pavement and the road. I was on the road and not on any yellows or anything. Totally legal parking.
Opened my door and it hits a bollard on the grass, painted dark green, which was lower than usual so I didn't see it in the dark because of the colour and height. That was obviously put there to stop people parking on the grass but it isn't visible. That didn't feel neighbourly either and felt like it was there deliberately to punish people. I feel it's the same with the rocks.

Your best bet OP if he comes for you legally is say you had no idea he was using your driveway as a reversing space. You may have already implicated yourself verbally in the conversation you had with him, but make sure you don’t write anything down that proves it was pre planned and purposeful.

As if ‘For future reference’ isn’t passive aggressive.
Did you skip the post where it was confirmed the rocks contrasted the drive colour?

It wasn’t very neighbourly to trespass on OP’s drive. So he damaged his car- hard cheddar, won’t do it again (hopefully!)

I assume the grass was not someone’s private property! It’s a different situation.

A fence would be fine because it's obvious. The problem with rocks is presumably he didn't notice them because they are not very large/high and, crucially, not normally there. Something more obvious would've been better. (Or having a chat.)

It's interesting how the OP says 'I didn't want to cause any drama' and then proceeds to do something passive aggressive clearly designed to cause drama.

It's also interesting how passive aggressive behaviour gets such positive reinforcement, but suppose it's a cultural thing.

My neighbour or anyone parked in tight spot is welcome to use my drive anytime if that makes for a safer and easier exit from their position. Having your car damaged is terribly stressful, and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

Obviously neighbour OTT and out of order but putting rocks on a path you know someone regularly uses is not nice. It's not far from setting a booby trap for someone you suspect does something a little naughty. Age 18 onwards people should be able to talk to each other rather than playing practical jokes at each others' expense. Often other people can't tell that what they are doing isn't to your liking.

Especially this time of the year where a lot of driving occurs in the dark and things like rocks aren't visible, and OP observed that the neighbour uses the drive daily, OP knew what they were doing, trying to teach the neighbour a lesson.

Causing Drama 101 and unlikely the relationship will recover.

It's true, generally I assume most people are reasonable human beings, and that most people would do the right thing. In my experience they are.
You do understand I am not saying he is right, it just isn't the worse crime in the world to turn on someone's driveway. All this could have been avoided with a conversation.

It’s lucky that the rocks weren’t hidden, then.

Does the neighbour sound like some you could have a conversation with? OP said she felt intimidated!