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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For taking time off work?

2 replies

BlueOtter9 · 10/02/2026 16:01

I feel like I’m failing because my workplace has micromanaged the life out of me, my manager regularly makes me feel like I’m being chastised and let’s my subordinates copy them into all emails which makes me look useless and insubordinate. Whenever my team don’t agree they ignore me and go straight to my manager and totally bypass me and my entire existence. In emails my manager will just reinforce what I’ve already said to my team for example I might email them saying: I’ve contacted X managed to give us some support with Y. I’ll let you all know the assigned date for this”
mh manager will then piblically say “Blueotter has contacted x if we don’t hear back we will have to ensure we have Y speaker in place to complete some training. We have until the end of today.” it sounds small but when it keeps happening it drains you.

I’m a manager and working with multiple senior leaders and directors and have so many demands that none of my team see. They just think I’m crap. I’m very unwell today. Woken up with a horrific virus, banging headache.

I have a big meeting on Thursday with a very senior team member but I’m just not well enough. I’m just not physically able to do it. I’m also leaving but that’s not really why I’m not going in. I know I’m be berated either way. Whether I’m in or not.
It’s because my body is so fatigued it’s now ill and I’m not fighting back as easily as I normally would. Normally I’d be going for a run I can’t even do that today.

Do I force myself in for this meeting or do I just recover?

Aibu about people here?

OP posts:
ImPamDoove · 10/02/2026 16:03

If you’re unwell, take a sick day. 🥴

BillieWiper · 10/02/2026 16:06

You're not well. Go off sick.

Your situation sounds demoralising. You say your team think you're crap, but unless you're very inefficient or unpleasant I don't see why they would. They might simply have got into the habit of copying in the higher up members of the chain. Not necessarily to undermine you but I can see how it could feel that way.

I hope you feel better soon x

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