I want to stop working despite being very academic/career driven

[Kiki234]

I feel like I've had this feeling within me for some time and it's bugging me now. I am currently working as a doctor in psychiatry training to become a child psychiatrist. I love children and I cannot sit still knowing children in my community and in the world are suffering.

When I was on maternity leave I was off for an extended period of time. I had 3 pregnancies back to back with the last being a stillborn. I essentially had over 4 years off due to this.

Because I was off for so long I started using my skillset to benefit the community. I started volunteering by working with mothers suffering postpartum mental health problems and also with adolescents in the area to discuss and target drug related problems.

I really enjoyed it and felt like I was really making meaningful changes. People really respected me and because I was volunteering in an area close to home I felt like I was putting so much back into the community.

Unfortunately the NHS is so poor at providing any service to young children. It just means that I always feel as though I'm never doing a good enough job. I definitely love working with young people but public services aren't designed to provide any meaningful impact to young people's lives.

I'm just feeling a bit confused and am not seeing the light with never ending training, working in my own time, awful rota patterns ect ect ... Should I just go back to volunteering and completing a few locum shifts to fund me financially?

(Sorry for the grammar I'm brain-fudged post-nights)

Do you have a spouse of partner who’d support you volunteering instead of paid work? I’m not sure if you’re philosophically musing or trying to make a plan.

If you can afford to support yourself then you don't have to do paid work.

If you can't I wouldn't advise unnecessarily burdening the benefit system.

Could you not finish the training with the NHS and then go off to set your own private/voluntary service? Few doctors train with the NHS then set up private to do their own thing.

I do, my husband pays for everything. I have no real financial obligations.

I'm really not sure. I always pictured myself volunteering but at 18 I didn't think it would take this long to finish training.

How many more years until you finish your training? Or do you not have to be a Consultant to do locum work? You could look at becoming a Trustee of a charity supporting the type of clients you want to help.

I am LTFT so it would take another years now providing I keep up with all my assessments ect. It doesn't sound like long considering I've done 12 years. I feel like I lost idea of becoming a consultant a long time ago. As in, I want to focus on the here and now rather than constantly worrying about what it takes to become a consultant.

What about focusing right now, while your children are young, on your own children?

Why not complete your training then work as a locum with short term contracts to enable you to volunteer?

I don’t know, it can be extremely frustrating working as a volunteer in a field you are very well qualified in (my experience is in a completely different type of thing to yours but it might be relevant).
Organisations have policies which very much keep volunteers in their box so you don’t get to have any real influence on the way things are done overall even if the professionals you work with respect and acknowledge your skills. Then as time goes on your professional experience gets more out of date and even though your voluntary cv will be growing that isn’t taken into account in the same way.
If you care about the field I would suggest staying professional if you can.

Surely one of the best things you can do is get involved in a leadership role to effect positive changes in public services. Realistically, a voluntary role isn’t going to make a lasting difference to someone’s life. It can help support them, but young people can’t receive all their care from the charity sector. And they can’t afford to go private. If you want to help people, the best way to do it is probably going to be the NHS, but you need to figure out ways to create satisfying change and probably also be a bit subversive.

I don't think the SAHM Iife is for me. I have a great husband but no other support system and would go crazy at home. My youngest is now 3.

Sorry I voted wrong on this - I don't think you're being unreasonable for feeling frustrated in your NHS role. But I do worry that you could become burnt out from the volunteering, if people in very close proximity become reliant on your expertise and ask for more and more. And that you would lose the opportunity to get back into the workforce later if you wanted or needed to.

Is there a happy medium? Could you finish your training and then work three days a week?

This would be great but once we are in training we can't exit and return to the speciality. I have also looked for a public health role (even to volunteer for) but they mostly take internal candidates who aren't medics.

It's also very tedious work and I feel like it's more political and admin-related than actually making meaningful change.

Thank you for this comment.

I think you only live once and if something is pulling you in a direction then persue it.