I will try not to drip feed.
Some info may be vague to avoid things going off on a tangent.
Broke up with ex 12 months ago. We had been together for 10 years. Pretty amicable in that I was asked if I was happy and I admitted I wasn't. It was a sexless relationship for many years, starting from ex partners side as he put on a lot of weight and "didn't feel attractive", despite me trying to show otherwise.
I moved to the next town to be with him and didn't really make many friends there as me going out without him was always frowned upon. He was a recluse and didn't have any friends other than one who he eventually fell out with. We got on well but I wanted more and felt we both deserved more.
We have one child aged 6.
I met someone around 4 months after splitting with ex. It was unexpected and shes female. We've been together for 7 months and get on very well. Ive met her grown up children but I've kept her separate from my daughter.
Me and ex have 50/50. Since our break up he has become increasingly angry. Battering my door, I had to call 999 on one occasion because he and his sister and mum were threatening me at my home. This was when they discovered I was seeing someone 7 months after we broke up.
Anyway, things have calmed down since. We even had a cuppa together last month. He saod he would be open to discuss my partner meeting our child.
Since I brought up the possibility of me and partner attending an event with daughter, meeting as mums friend, things have exploded. He is now saying he doesn't want this amd "if you do this, remember, you have caused this". He is seeing someone new. Im not sure what the problem is.
Anyway TLDR: if daughter doesn't meet partner, I won't be able to attend the event, which isnt a biggy.
I want daughter to meet her. He's said for me to do what I like because thats what I usually do. This isnt true. Would you allow the meet?
Im concerned about investing more time in partner if I find she doesn't get on with my daughter. Im keen for them to start meeting. But if I do, I worry about the repercussions from ex. I find him intimidating and often hints at killing themselves if things dont go their way. He's demanded half of my universal credit top up amd child benefit which I have given, as we are 50/50. Ive also agreed to many other things when he has gone back on arrangements such as sharing custody of our dog in order for me to go on work trips.
What do you think. Should I delay the partner meeting my child to keep the peace?
I won't explain why, but exdp not on borth certificate and has no parentla responsibility.