BF childish language

[ShudderIck]

Hi,
I've name changed for this.

Would you have the ick if someone in their 40s constantly complained of 'tummy ache' (I don't know why, but it conjours up images of a poorly 5 year old rather than a grown adult)

I've really noticed a pattern in this person complaining quite extensively about various health ailments, almost like they want a mummy to fix it for them.

Maybe I'm not making sense, but it's been a continuous cycle throughout our "relationship" and I'm running out of patience with hearing it.. He's like a stuck record.

Majority of time it's self-inflicted with poor diet etc

I had an ex like this - it was quite extreme at times, he seemed to regress into annoying little brother mode - I had to tell him that's what it reminded me of and the consequences for our sex life! I think at one point I told him if he referred to my 'boobies' 🤮 one more time he'd never be touching them again...

Ugh no that would give me the ick. He sounds like a hypochondriac.

Bin him off

Yes it would give me the ick immediately.
"Tummy" is an easy reference for a child to use.

Is he using the same word when he describes symptoms to a Dr, or does he he manage to say "stomach" or "abdomen" then?

Does he actually speak to a Dr about the multiple ailments?
The fact that the ailments complained about are repeatedly self- inflicted sounds very frustrating.

He doesn't see a doctor about the stomach issues, although I'm pretty sure he would probably still say Tummy in a medical setting. It's really strange, it's almost like he's stuck in child mode in some ways.

I have over our time together made gentle suggestions about it being diet related, or about seeing the doctor as it seems to be an ongoing issue etc, but it seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.. It's almost like he just wants to complain/get attention for his "poorly tummy" rather than actually resolve it or change things.. But I realise that's what some people do to keep a cycle going.

😂😂😂🤮

I can't actually see anything wrong with saying 'tummy.'

legs it out of the thread!>>>>>>>>> 🏃

It would annoy me that it was self-inflicted through an awful diet, that would give me the ick.

Saying 'tummy ache' probably wouldn't give me the ick, but funnily enough use of the word 'poorly' definitely would (sorry OP!) as I utterly detest that word.

🏃 <<<<<runs back in to the thread>>>>>

I say 'poorly' too.

legs it back out!>>>>>>> 🏃

It's fine to say these words. It's also fine for op to find it a turn off. To each their own. Another woman may find him endearing and attractive. I don't think he's going to change. This is who he is

Giving me the ick! Doesn't sound serious. Put him in the bin.

Thank you. The hard thing is that I do actually really love him and I find other things about him endearing and attractive.

Having read the responses, I think I've established that it's because it's a really regular complaint and I'm a bit bored of hearing it... It seems a bit 'boy who cried wolf' and particularly frustrating when, as mentioned, he's got a pretty bad diet and doesn't seem to actually want to do anything to try and find a solution/resolution.

Oooh noooo

He doesn't seem to be taking responsibility for his own health. Is he wanting you to fix him? Does he have all the qualities you're looking for in a long term relationship?

You have a lot of patience @ShudderIck
Hearing endless complaints about ailments that you've already given sensible advice about.

I wonder if a Dr would say what you already have, but less patiently.

Some people learn in childhood that illness begets them sympathy and extra attention.

How does he treat you when you are unwell?

This is a big part of why I am giving it less time and energy, to be honest.
I'm noticing that I'm becoming a bit 'take it or leave it' mentality towards our time together.. Think I am just sick of his ailments running the show, especially when they seem a bit fictional/exaggerated.

Yeah, that's what would bug me. I don't think I care whether it's a poorly tummy or intermittent cramping in the region of the ileum. I do care if it's pathetically repeated whining!

If it's a sudden illness, he has brought medicines and snacks over. But with ongoing complaints (I have a long term sports injury which plays up now and again) he is completely indifferent and doesn't seem to give a flying fuck when I am in pain with that.

He's actually quite confusing and pretty selfish.
I have noticed of late that I am doing things like intentionally ignoring his messages etc, because he will leave me on read for hours but seems to expect a quick response from me, so I've started giving him the same treatment and energy that I receive.

Think maybe I've just recognised that I will only put my energy where it's welcomed and reciprocated..!

Sounds as though you're losing respect for each other as well

Thank you. It's been quite a journey so far!

I think I will have to say something because this "poorly me" dynamic of his cannot continue, I am getting more and more irritated by it and it's actually turning me into someone I don't recognise...!

So it's one rule for him but the opposite treatment for you?

It doesn't sound as if he deserves your care, let alone love.

I’m hear you, OP. Any adult saying tummy’ or ‘poorly’ is so mimsy. I’d be put off immediately.

I'm with you.

Yes, this is the conclusion I've come to.

It has been quite constant and he frequently makes doctors appointments for other ailments.
I had to stop him from going to A+E for (what turned out to be) an ingrown hair. To me it was VERY obviously an ingrown: location, presentation.. But rather than trying first aid, he was going to rush to A+E... I was like You cannot be fucking serious!!!! Lo and behold, he went to the pharmacist like I suggested and it was fine a few days later.

Alas, he's the first to complain about NHS wait times.

It's a bit much to be honest. Seeing it written down is making me realise how chaotic he is...!

I saw a bag on vinted that said wifey and I thought that’s it, we have all strayed too far from god’s light.