Student flirted with me - I'm freaking out

[TheUmberHelper]

A student flirted with me today. I am extremely worried. He begged me not to report it which of course i said I could not keep it to myself. I said to him 'that is very inappropriate, stay after class please' in a stern tone. I am extremely strict. I am really worried about being in trouble for this. When I spoke to him afterwards about boundaries he said 'but you sat next to me (to help him as he was doing no work same as every lesson), you are friendly' what the fuck?!- That is not true. I am literally the least friendly teacher and the strictest teacher in the entire school. I am deeply impersonal and never permit personal questions or discussions. I can always be heard admonishing students. WTF. Little shit!!!! I told him I would have to report it and have no choice. All protocols followed to the T.

I am worried that he is going to say I somehow invited this flirtation. :(

Follow your safeguarding protocol. Report it immediately and ask safeguarding head what you should do to protect yourself (and the student) in future.

I followed all the protocls and double checked with DSL to ensure that i have done it all correctly.

Immediately report to head teacher and email your version of events to yourself as well to ensure there's a day and time stamp.

Don't leave anything until tomorrow.

Possibly not the wisest to tell him to stay alone after class under the circumstances but suspect that's due to habit & shock.

Never be alone with this child every again.

How old is he and what sort of organisation are you in?

Why did you keep him alone after class!??
Reporrt it to all the relevant people immediately. Write it all down immediately. As exactly as you can remember it!
What does flirting look like and were there other students present?

Do you mean school pupil, or university/college student?

You kept him behind after class? Alone? Not your smartest move. Document everything and let you line manager/head/safeguarding lead know immediately.

I assume this is A Level?
Sitting down next to a student is not being friendly. Sometimes it's necessary to explain something complicated! I do it a lot as I don't like bending over a desk as I think that looks odd!

I would not have got them to stay behind unless you called another member of staff to sit in on the conversation.

He flirted with you and you kept him after class?! Follow the protocol, do the necessary reporting, it's there to protect both you and him. Much better to have the boundaries conversation with another responsible adult present, not in an empty classroom with just the two of you. Seek proper support from your line manager and whoever leads on safeguarding. Not really sure why you are panicking though - if you knew you did nothing wrong then you did nothing wrong.

You've done everything you can. While it is fresh in your mind write down everything that happened during today's lesson. Write a diagram of where he was sitting and where all the other students sit so that your version cam be corroborate by students nearby.

Take a deep breath. It'll be okay.

If a student was flirting with me, I think the last thing I would do is ask him to stay after class with me.

Follow whatever you school's protocol is. Presumably it needs to be reported to someone.

I wish we'd go back to calling school age children, pupils. I teach in higher education...I have students. Under 18 is a very different scenario. Anyway, that's a tangent...

Sounds like you've done what you should but it concerns me that this is yet more 'manosphere' stuff, for want of a better word.

What if you were not strict? What if you are friendly but professional? Does friendly and sitting next to mean "up for it"? These young men are testing boundaries but it's a bit worrying . What happens when it's an inexperienced girl who gets unwanted attention and she feels that she's done something wrong, especially if a young man says 'but you were friendly/sat next to me'?

I wonder whether this is something that needs discussing more in PHSE or something?

Totally understand why OP is worried, some young people really do like to cause trouble/test the waters, which is annoying considering the amount of real child protection/safeguarding cases there are that receive poor levels of investigation. The pupil already sounds like he is in fantasy land, probably bored due to not being interested in class, so he could literally say anything at this point.

Would have been better to bring another teacher in with you when you spoke to him on his own, as tbh it does look suspect that you now kept him behind alone unfortunately. He could say more 'flirting' happened.

Also I do not think it is fair to say that, because you are a strict teacher, you can't be guilty of flirting, as it seems to say that friendly teachers would be guilty of a flirting accusation. On the other hand, I do hope you are genuine and not looking for ways to get out of this...

Well he was certainly being a cheeky yoke. He was probably trying to get a laugh out of his classmates. I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't give it a second thought. It was inappropriate

Sounds like your male students need some education in relationships. For example, if a woman is polite and friendly, that does not automatically mean she is flirting. It can just mean she is a polite and pleasant person. Ask him if he thinks every male teacher who helps him is flirting? FFS.