To feel hurt by parents

[Princessdiaries]

feel hurt - my parents want to spend time with me and my brother + his partner, separately.

so rather than being a family they want to do things seperarely and say it’s because they want individual quality time?

we are all adults with little time due to work, children, commitments, hobbies etc. I can’t understand the logic of parents who wouldn’t want that quality family time and instead separate everyone?

I said I’m really hurt and feel it’s unreasonable. They said I’m being dramatic and there’s no malice in it. AIBU by this logic?

I'd find this frustrating. It can be logically tricky to get together with people and the last thing you want is people coming up with unnecessary obstacles.

Are you upset because you now have to make a separate trip to see your brother? If they find it too much they find it too much. Maybe you and your brother talk to each other and they feel left out or struggle to hear if lots of people. For whatever reason ittheir decision and probably more about them than you. You could always host everyone if they would travel.

So you could change this by being the planner/host? Arrange a mutual date now for the spring.. A meal out or BBQ etc? Try to change the dynamic up.

I do agree with a PP... It's a real shame when some families only get together for weddings and funerals ☹️

Make plans with your brother and his partner alone. Don't invite your parents as they dont want to see you both together.

Do your brother and partner have children?

My in laws have got like this, I do feel they find it overwhelming and can't get quality time I think though I do think there should be SOME family get-togethers or you'd never be all together again.

When my parents were alive I loved the times we spent just me and them, I got to hear about their lives, their friends, their hobbies and they got to hear about mine. Having other family there diluted that time with them but was just as nice in a different way. I used to meet with them alone, sometimes with my DH and children and at other times with my siblings and their children. It doesn’t need to be all together or nothing.

Loneliness can be a really uncomfortable part of single parenting

Indeed it can, but so can many in relationships as testified by the myriad posts on here.

As a single parent, you owe it to yourself and to your kid(s) to reach out to your local community, whether that is other solo parents, bumping into a neighbour in the local supermarket or at the front door, a chat with someone at your child's school or their parent on the phone organising a get-together having a bitch with a friend lol, just having a chat at the local bus stop....

OP, our parents are no longer with us and my siblings and I and their offspring all live in different countries. I accept it as it's just life.

Whilst. I love seeing my grown dc separately, although tiring if we are hosting, i also love to see both my adult children together as brother and sister. Thats a pleaseure to me and am old , and do tire , but i rest.
sometimes they want to
come to have time together as a family without partners too.
op i think its normal
fot all members of the family to
comprise and if my adult dc wanted to be together even if was tired id facilitate.
i dont think
you are bu!

Thinking about it I agree that if they find everyone together too much a different location won’t change that

But you're chosing friends over family. If family is so important to you make plans to see your brother or see your parents. It shouldn't be on them to organize everything. You sound very "woe is me" when you're not doing anything about it, and most people don't see there's a problem in the first place.