Should I disclose this to GP? (Content warning -mentions suicide)

[Paintisblue]

Stbxh was awful the last few years of our marriage. He had an affair, in order to cover up my suspicions he became abusive. He’d gaslight me to feeling like I’m suffering paranoia, make threats about finances, blackmailed to do his work, he’d silence me, mock me, lie, he would create scenarios that made me look crazy to others while I was just going about my day.

He’s been gone since march and I don’t feel any better because I still have to be around him with the kids. He tried to commit suicide twice, though not very seriously but was sectioned for 28 days after the second attempt over spring. I don’t feel like myself, I am contemplating seeing the gp but if I outline the above what would happen?

there was police involvement at the time as someone anonymously reported him, I think our neighbour. Professional standards came to speak to me but I declined to make a statement in the end as he was attempting to kill himself and I didn’t want to be the thing that tipped him. If I reported it and he lost his job I’d also lose maintenance which would put me and more importantly the kids into poverty.

I want to ask about trauma therapy but don’t want it to open the can of worms again.

mumsnet please don’t put this on Facebook thank you.

I think you should tell your gp.

Sorry I should say
yabu - tell gp
Yanbu - don’t mention everything

Tell your GP. Its confidential. You've been through a lot and I think most people would struggle to cope on their own. Sounds like you could benefit from some therapeutic input/support. Have you considered speaking with Womens Aid or any other local services that help people who are survivors of domestic abuse?

That’s good to know, I just wasn’t sure if disclosures over ride confidentiality. I spoke to woman’s aid last January but it was just over email, I reached out to see if his behaviour was an issue and they said it was. I haven’t had any support though.

Some disclosures could over confidentiality but that is normally only if you would be a direct danger to yourself or to people around you. (Or if your Ex was a likely danger to the children)

You should have a discussion with your GP about your MH and about what and when something would fall within their reporting guidelines. You will find it much easier to have an open discussion when you are feeling safe about disclosing material events.

This is about the support you need.
Because you are traumatised by his issues and behaviour
So your gp needs to know it all
I dont understand your worries
He was sectioned so his mh status is known on his records

What is it you will talk about that is not already reported?
His employer presumably already knows he has been sectioned after suicide attempt? What is it you will disclose that is not already known?
And why does it matter if you are seeking support for yourself?

I’m worried in case the gp reports it back to the police or social services. I don’t want the pressure or stress of external agency lnvolvement, I don’t think I could cope and he would make my life a living hell. I spoke to a solicitor around the way he was with the kids and she didn’t think it would meet any thresholds and she recommended he’d likely get a period of supervised visits followed by unsupervised if he is maintaining following the advice of his psychiatric team. His behaviour to me is obviously different. It’s like I’m stuck in this loop of being afraid to upset him but knowing I need to be stronger.
I do want the gp to know because it would inform their clinical decisions but equally I don’t want to bring more trouble to my door when I already feel so broken

Maybe I am overthinking this

I think you need to just be honest OP, and allow yourself to get the support you need.

If that means he ends up questioned, losing his job etc then that’s what happens but you cannot live the rest of your life struggling for fear of the impact on him.

This. It feels important his behaviour to you is properly recorded somewhere too, tbh. If he does the same to a new partner in the future for example.

You are going to gp to get support foryou.
You no longer in thecrelationship. You need support to be successfully separated.
If he goes to court for access to dc these issues might be considered.
Your therapist might explore with you reporting certain crimes(?) Eg blackmail . You can discuss this in therapy.
There are thresholds for them making disclosures elsewhere. If you or dc are in immediate danger from him they can support you to report.
Dont overthink
You are doing the right thing to get support for you and they cannot support you if you hide things which worry you
His long term future is his problem

You need to look after you, you deserve self care. His actions are his responsibility and you do not need to save him from his own actions.

Nothing will happen if you disclose this to the gp. (My abusive exh is high ranking copper) I never pushed for any investigation into him as I’d rather have the child maintenance!

You are a little.

Understand that this overthinking is likley also a trama reaction.

You will double and triple check yourself as this is what you needed to do to be safe around him.

Be open with your GP about your feeling on involving outside agencies.

Would their involvement strip back the protection of you being able to convince yourself that it was not quite as bad as your rational mind knows it was and is?

NHS talking therapies are unlikely to accept you as somewhere like women’s aid if more appropriate. You can self refer to them and gp doesn’t need to be involved .

looking forward - if you end up in court cases for child access - they can court order your medical records too.