Whats your disposable income like?

[Oglefish95]

Going back to work soon after maternity and have some credit card bills to pay. Ive not really a concept of what I need to live off monthly as my partner has been holding the lion shares of expenses while ive been off. I was aiming to pay £1500 monthly off credit csrds and then have £1000 left to live off (after mortgage/ utilities/ car etc are paid off).

I know mumsnet has alot of variety of incomes, I would say ours is just a bit higher than average, nothing crazy. Im asking because ideally id pay off even more of my credit cards monthly if realistic. I dont have loads on them, just 0% rates are running out soon. Its not something I would discuss with friends or family so genuinely wondering what is the norm.

Context is 2 kids and live in north East so cost of living isnt too bad.

YABU - £1000 is way more than needed
YANBU - £1000 is just right (maybe even need more!)

How do you not know what you have incoming and outgoing? Go through your bills and income and work it out.

I do appreciate the sentiment, but as I say just trying to see what lifestyle i can afford really, we have been very frugal while I have been off and I want to enjoy what I earn for once!

The high amount is to try to beat my promotional rate ending which is a couple of months after I return to work 😊

But my savings have been rinsed from 12 months of maternity, so I think your right and that i am feeling financially a bit vulnerable, and I think the frugal life im used to might need to stay about for a bit until I have them back up to where id like them to be.

1000 seems to be plenty and probably not necessary.

Ok you’re clearly not willing to engage on this, but focusing on enjoying life when heavily in debt and in credit cards isn’t a good idea. As to have the debt in the first place it is likely as you already enjoyed it, or you can’t live within your means. So yes, I’d recommended paying as much as possible every single month and getting the debt down.

Lifestyle ?

I have a great lifestyle but it doesn’t involve a lot of spending on things or experiences

you seem to equate lifestyle with spending power but that’s buying into one narrow form of lifestyle- do you do a lot of following people and the like? Is your idea of life warped by online rather than reality ?

I earn £1100 a month and I pay the rent, council tax, pet insurance and bus fare out of that and also most of the food shopping, so I think £1000 just for fun will be easy peasy.

I think it’s a lot and if I were you I’d be paying more of the credit card debt off.

Obviously, it depends on how long you expect this situation to last for. You can stop buying clothes and shoes for a time, but inevitably you will need to buy new ones at some point, so it’s easier to sustain a low budget for a shorter period of time. But for me personally, I cannot stand debt, I don’t have any aside from my mortgage and I never will have, so I would be prioritising paying off the credit card debt as fast as I could.

Surely there's a middle ground though? E.g you allow an extra £50 a week on frugal and you can choose whether it's a couple of trips to soft play or if you want to save it for a bigger day out over a couple of weeks.

To go from frugal to spending £250 a month on fun while you have debts hanging over you seems daft.

Do you have other kids? Personally I'd want to get it cleared while they are little and happy with low cost activities. Then you'll be able to afford nicer things when they are of an age to know the difference or remember them.

If the £1000 is purely fun money for lattes lunches and hairdressers etc
then I’d put more on my credit cards and have less fun money. But that’s just me, I like to be credit-card debt free as credit card debt can be very expensive once 0% rate stops.

Your absolutely right! I have two children oldest is still young so your absolutely right, theres no need for softplay every weekend when they would be happy in the libary

So I have £200 post monthly expenses including my petrol to and from work and the kids weekly activities.

Things it needs to cover are birthday presents, haircut for me (kids is covered by joint expense), holidays (we save an amount in the joint account but do end up dipping into our own savings each for some extra weekends away), clothes for me (kids again covered by joint account), meals out and drinks with friends etc. Its just enough over the year (I save what I dont use for more expensive months).

But I have no credit card debt or even credit card now. I have a loan from consolidating some debt a few years ago which is easier to manage but that comes out post the £200 left a month.

Does this £1000 include food?

I go with spend on the things that really make a difference.

E.g if we are going to a zoo, farm park, country park I'll always take a picnic and a thermos. The kids don't want to queue up for food and it's not relaxing, just extra expense that doesn't make the experience any better.

But if we are going for a long walk and there's a cafe part way, a cup of tea and a slice of cake while you warm up makes for a much nicer day (though I'd probably still have eaten a sandwich along the way to avoid the cost of four proper meals half of which young kids won't eat anyway).

I resent spending £30 on food just because you need to eat and haven't prepared. But if it's a nice meal out with friends it's totally different (even though total spend that week may be identical).

And certainly with kids, drinks. Mine are thirsty monsters and a few bottles of water can soon set you back a fiver but really doesn't enhance the day over one under the pram.

Once they are big enough to get down to sleep more easily, we often liked a night away in a cheap Premier Inn. Feels like a treat but you can explore the parks, museums etc somewhere else so overall still cheaper.

For pre schoolers you can get ridiculously cheap caravan holidays mid week out of school holidays. We've done them under £100 for four nights and the kids love the pool, play parks and little activities. Again you can make your own lunches etc but choose the odd nice meal out rather than shelling out endlessly for a sandwich.

You are at a stage in life to take advantage of these things. You can make sure you have enough to enjoy life but also be ruthless with paying down your debt by avoiding the incidental spends rather than restricting family experiences.

£200 left per month but that has to to pay fuel, children’s activities, hair cut, clothes, meals out, drinks and a loan? Or am I reading your post wrong?

Yes I’m unsure how the op can have 2500 a month just for herself disposable income but so much credit card debt.

Sorry £200 after petrol, activates and loan.
Has to pay for haircut (not that I have them often), birthdays, clothes, food and drink out for me only type days etc.

You need to sit down with your partner and produce a proper budget.

List out your incomes.
List out every single direct debit/ bill payment you have each month.
List out every single debt you have and every penny you have in savings, and check the interest rates on all of them.

So basically start with a list of all the money that comes in, and all the money that has to go out.

You then know exactly how much money you have each month, and then you can assign that money to paying off your debt, paying for food and other essentials, perhaps paying something into savings and then finally free money for fun/ entertainment etc.

Also look at whether you can make your debt cheaper and your savings earn more interest, and whether you can cut down on any bills by cancelling any unused subscriptions etc or changing suppliers.

What other people have is irrelevant.

Ah ok, still impressive! I need to be more like you.

Surely you pay off all (credit card) debts bar the mortgage and put a regular chunk into savings before splurging on frivolous stuff?

Well whatever it is, it’s less than you have been spending! if you saved for mat leave…spent it all and then accrued debt on top of that then you have been living above your means.

Thanks! I buy and sell alot on vinted and ebay so that helps with clothing and things esp for the kids etc.
Also helps NOT having access to a credit card to stop the build up (I've been guilty of this in the past hence the loan repayment).

I budget my entire year in Jan and Feb so know what is left

Time of life is the main issue here unless people have small children and live in the same geographic area roughly it’s hard to compare.

You pay off the debt, you limit fun money in fact you look for low cost or free activities. You are not in the position to have instant gratification.

We are way better off than average so it was all affordable but my child had a lot of playing in woodland near our house and that sort of outdoor rolling in the mud childhood that my childhood was like without structured activities. DH had a lot of lessons and structured activities as a child and he doesn’t especially look back with fondness at his childhood like I do.

We have more than yourself and we have zero debt.

Is it possible to have ' fun ' money when you have debts.
pay the credit cards off.

Why are you paying for the children's activities ? surely that comes out of joint funds. even if that means you both have less ' fun ' money.

I hope you are paying lots into your pension, as the state pension is £1000 a month...

I would normally agree, but the CC debt was the result of a terrible car costing alot to fix before I got rid of to break even and buying a cheap run around for me an the kids. I chose against a load / PCP to save on interest and with the horrible time I had with previous car needing fixed before I could pay pff the equity.

I appreciate if we are being pedantic though, I could have lived with walking and using a bus (although on child in nursery so perhaps the car was a necessity) so was above my means at the time I guess!

I appreciate all the good thoughts and advice on what people are saving for themselves at the end of the month to spend for 'fun' which was the point of this post! The 2500 spare is after ALLL bills including food, phone, childcare is paid.

i suppose the point of the post as well is once the credit card debt is paid im going to look into savings and investments to have hopefully an early retirement and sizeable amounts for the kids when they turn 18. Im looking at a finial advisor as I appreciate we have alot of spare income at relatively young ages. I want to be able to save for the future but still live a good life in the mean time!

Op, is that 2500 total spare for the household, rather than just you? It really doesn’t make sense if you’ve say both got this but get into serious credit card debt as you can’t afford to repair your car.