To be annoyed at constant knocks on the door from balls in garden several times a day?

[LittleJoeyJoJo]

Please let me know your opinions on what’s reasonable. On phone so please no grammar/spelling police. Note, I used to play football as a kid and if a ball went over we’d tell our parents we were nipping next door and would knock no more than once a day. Our kids are younger (5-8) and play responsibly, so barely anything goes over their fence. Yet. I know this could change in future, but we ask them to be careful. Next doors boys (aged 11-14) and their friends usually an extra 2-4 kids) play football in their garden all year around, which is great. Love to hear kids playing (they are very noisy but I’m ok with that) and not see them on electronics. The problem is that our gardens aren’t big, but they play as if they’re playing on a full size pitch, so several times a day at the weekend and a few nights a week we get a knock at the door to give them their ball back. Once or twice is ok but there have been times where we’ve had 8-10 knocks at the door over the weekend. All throughout summer I’ll be on work calls and they’ll be knocking. If I’m able to answer i make a point of bringing my laptop so they can see I’m working and I’ll tell them I’ll do it later when im free. We always throw them back, the parents (our neighbours) are ok but we don’t see each other much. There is a small park not even 5m walk away with a big grass area.

Bearing in mind it’s up to 2-3 times in the week and on average 5 times on the weekend, are we being unreasonable to be getting annoyed at this?

The ask politely. We want to check if we’re being sensitive as:

1. once we had 10 balls in the garden and our CCTV showed them being thrown over in less than 2m as if it was intentional.
2. the balls regularly hit and break my plants, including the kids sunflowers, my roses etc
3. when we’re sat in the garden we are always worried about being hit, especially if we have little ones or elderly parents over.
4. they repeatedly smack the ball into our fence (owned by us). They have a goal but one of the friends likes to play target practice and it’s quite unnerving to be sat a couple of feet away from this noise. When I say I don’t mind the noise, I mean the sound of them playing, not this. We do shout over to ask them to stop.
5. often our car gets hit (due angle of the driveways)

Big girl pants on. Tell them you will return balls once per day only at say 6pm when you have finished work. And stick to it. You will find they are much more careful.

And tell their parents they must stop hitting your fence or you will be expecting them to pay for damage.

You're being a pushover! Just stop! You're getting the behaviour you allow and in fact reward.

This first post completely nails it.

I’m a mum to 3-one at 12 years old, who has friends over. knows- if anyone hits, bats, kicks any ball over either side of us. He is not to go, until a reasonable time and knock to ask for it back, with the manners I taught him. Once and that’s it!
If it happens again, he’s to wait.
They always come back, my neighbours are lovely and I’m lucky.
I’d fully understand, it’s on their property and at their own convenience though.
I was mortified last year, when I caught one of of my sons friends climbing over my fence, to retrieve a ball! safe to say the neighbour also caught eye to it and I stood there and let him be told-very dangerous and disrespectful.
My son was made to go and apologise for the friends behaviour later on, the friend was laughing and it annoyed me, so I asked him to apologise there and then -our garden, our guests.

My 12 year old, is now fully aware of the embarrassment of going to apologise for something he hadn’t done, but part of it! Didn’t happen again-the balls stop being booted and if they don’t like my rules, they can all go to boot balls round there gardens or the park.

I’d have to say something or just stop sending them back.
They know you will always answer the door and send them straight back! it doesn’t inconvenience them, so they’ll keep doing it.
Im all for-off the consoles etc playing outside and I join in, but we’re respectful to everyone around.
I’d be annoyed and if I’m honest, I’d have no issue being asked to be a bit more careful, if I was your neighbour.
see what happens if you stop sending them back, you might get an apology and they might realise you’ve had enough.

im a fun mum by the way and love having my kids happy with friends, but can’t stand people disrespecting others and their property or my own.
good luck.

I'd only allow my kids to go once a day max. No chance they'd disturb the neighbours 8 times a day!

Our neighbours' teen often throw her dogs balls and toys over our fence, she never come to ask for them. We just put them back when we notice.

Im mobility impaired so I dont answer the door or throw them back. Once a week my relative comes and throws any balls he finds out into the street for any kid who wants to claim them. Result is that I rarely get a ball coming over because they know they will have to wait upto a week to get it back.

You are the adult tell them no or whatever you feel is fair on you, use your big grown up voice and just get on with it

Why cant you just tell them to fetch the ball each time it goes over and not bother you by knocking. Or can they not access the garden from the back?

why would someone want random kids going into their garden contstantly?

When you're sitting in the garden they should stop playing unless they can keep it their side. That's not on at all.

Because they are not random kids, it's their neighbours and it makes no difference to them if they are in the house working. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

It would bother me if I was sitting out though and I would just ask them to stop playing.

As it often does

yep. You will throw over any balls when work has finished

YANBU.

It's more than just a few stray balls a day you're needing to retrieve.

I have ball loving kids on next to me as well.

What worked for me, is that I have a Labrador so I told the kids that if he gets the ball first, it's his. The rule is (in his mind), if he finds it, he claims it. And he will destroy it.

Can you borrow a ball loving dog for a few days? 😀

It sounds as if you’re under siege. I’d have to say something.

When your working just don't answer the door. Let them knock or ring as long as they like but don't answer. Dont leave any outward sign that you are in and make sure they csnt get access to your back garden, lock side gate etc.

Next time they break your plants and come to ask for the ball, I’d tell them they have to get a parent.

And then show that parent the damage they’ve been doing & explain about your fence & your car, also that because of the disruption to your work you won’t be able to answer the door during the day in future. Hopefully they’ll take steps after that.

@LittleJoeyJoJo have your told the neigbours that the balls are causing damage and that you’re being interrupted regularly during work hours and at the weekend? I don’t think you should bother saying that you’re ok with the ball coming over once a day. If the kids are big enough to kick the ball over the fence all the time they need to go to the park to play or control the ball so it doesn’t go over the fence.