To ask if you would share a photo of your unwell newborn with lots of tubes and wires

[dodomin]

Background:
Our wonderful DS has been diagnosed with a rare ano-rectal condition - because of the nature of the illness DH and I have chosen not to share what is wrong with him with friends and family. Surgery should resolve it (but also it may be a lifelong issue he has to live with). And so if he wants to share it when he is older than is no problem, but given how intimate/sensitive the issue is DH and I feel like we should protect his medical issues from everyone we know for now. For example, both DH and I feel like if this was something that happened to us and we had lifelong ano-rectal issues, we wouldn't want everyone to know about it and ask us about it..

Where he's been in hospital for the last few weeks now, naturally we've had lots of questions as to why he isn't home yet. We've told a half truth in that he's just having some digestion issues. Lots of people are asking for photos. He is heavily cannulated, has an NG and long line. I don't mind sharing photos with some people, but not all.. is it distasteful to share photos of him like this?
YABU - you shouldn't share such sensitive photos with any old relative or acquaintance
YANBU - it's fine, share the photo

I think you should just do what's right for you in this case. Share with the right people who will support you but don't feel pressured to send any photos when it doesn't feel right. Fingers crossed for these surgeries and look after yourself too.

OP. You're right to do whatever feels best. I would start to manage expectations re how long you'll be in hospital and ongoing treatment. You don't need to give all the details, but it's obviously not something that is being resolved quickly so start to add in that you might be a while and will need ongoing treatment. This stops people commenting later on and unintentionally being rude or upsetting you. Ime it is easier to not have to re explain everything 50 times and have stock messages to send out. @

The photos won't give anyone any idea of his condition so I'd happily send them to close family. I think you are right to keep his condition private; it's not your business to disclose, it's his.