Friendship becoming hard

[sarah0106]

So a friend recently left a long term relationship of 9 years, lost of bitterness between them both and just generally hating each others guts…. I’m friends with both of them though closer to her than him, in recent weeks more things have come to light such as accusations on the other side starting to look more like the truth than what’s been made out to me. I feel very much suffocated by it as it’s every day messaging, borrowing money, at first I probably was going over and above to help, but 2 months down the line I now feel like I’m just being used for when struck for cash or needing someone to talk to.

AIBU to think I’m being used?!
the messaging every day doesn’t bother me as much but it seems like every other week it’s a loan of money, or wanting to moan about the ex man when she’s got someone else now.

Distance yourself, her problems are not yours.

i keep thinking that then she’ll message and say how much she appreciates me as her friend as a lot of friends have left her too it, I’m just a soft touch and would hate to see anyone struggle

Stop lending money. Every time she messages you, ask her where your repayment is. You will soon see she’s not a friend or deserving of your help. She’s using you.

No.1 - stop lending money.

No.2 - be there but step back a bit. Answer the phone/messages when you've actually got time to give meaningful responses. Lengthen the time before you respond a bit more each day until, by the end of this week, you answer 24 hour later or only in the evening before 8 or 9 (then no answer till next eve) so you get some peace from it.