To get a radar key

[SherbetDipDap]

Was just looking to buy a sunflower lanyard for DS. He has autism with a PDA profile and can be very challenging in his behaviour (putting it mildly) and is a flight risk. When he was smaller it was easier to manage but now that he’s 7, he’s faster and stronger, it’s much more obvious that he is ‘different’, and his meltdowns can be very violent (both towards himself and others). We wouldn’t use the lanyard for everything but, for example, I have cancelled a trip into London to a museum today because he was he was too dysregulated and it wasn’t safe or fair to him or other people. It would be useful to have a lanyard for unavoidable overstimulating environments or ‘big trips’ where he might become overwhelmed. In an ideal world, people wouldn’t be judgemental and would just be accepting and accommodating, but that hasn’t always been my experience.

I have noticed that you can buy a lanyard with a radar key. DS is perfectly physically able and has been toilet trained since he was tiny. However, he doesn’t always realise he needs to go until the last second and then becomes dysregulated because of the sensation, and he is tall for his age, so taking him into the ladies sometimes feels inappropriate despite the fact he needs very close supervision.

WIBU to get a radar key? Not for all the time, just for those emergencies or days where he is highly reactive?

One part of me thinks this is fine. He is literally a disabled child. The other part of me feels like a fraud because on a ‘good’ day he can pass as ‘typical’. I don’t want to be one of these parents who is taking the piss and using their child’s needs/diagnosis to game the system. I guess the whole Merlin/Alton Towers debacle has really got in my head.

I have IBS and have a radar key. I only use it when I’m having a flare up and can’t wait!

Oh gosh that sounds stressful!

(adds new thing to worry about to list!)

I have one as I have urge incontinence from time to time and can’t always wait. I only use it on those occasion. I think you should get one for your son.

How do you "officially" get one?
editing to add, have googled and found out. It's not monitored in the way a blue badge is, OP your situation sounds entirely justifiable. I'm thinking my df with prostate cancer would also benefit

God this sounds exactly my GS same age same problems so I know what your going through good luck in the future ive got a key for him so go and get 1

On the days he needs to use the disabled toilet, you use the key. My DP has a stoma, sometimes he just needs a wee, so goes in the gents. On good days my Mum could get out of her wheelchair and would use the women's toilet. At other times, both need the disabled toilet.

I have a radar key for my autistic daughter. She's diagnosed as low support needs, but if the public toilets are busy, then we use the disabled to avoid meltdowns. It's not just the queuing, it's the noise of the people, hand dryers, potential contamination OCD kicking in. And whilst she'll hold it together for a short while, I can tell her bucket is filling up and she's at risk of losing it.

I've had it for about 2 years and we've only used it a handful of times. It's reassuring to have though - it's almost as if having the option means she can make a decision on what she can cope with. Of she didn't have the option, there'd be additional stress.

Ah love, I remember this very dilemma. We have a lanyard (not a key) and bought it in the most part for motorway service stations. DD (AuDHD) has interoception issues and doesn’t need to know she needs to go until she is about to burst.

Like another poster above, we use it when we need to and not when we don’t - but I don’t regret getting it in the slightest. It stops the stink-eye when we motor past a long queue to go straight into the disabled.

Solidarity OP ❤️ you sound like a great mum and a great advocate for your son. Get the key and try not to worry what people think. It’s hard not to with the culture war against autistic people coming from rightwing outlets but our kids need us to be ballsy for them and think “fuck what people think.” You’re doing great

I got mine on Amazon!

Get the key, get the lanyard, and anything else you need that might help you guys get through the day. People don't understand until they have neuro divergence/disabilities themselves or someone close to them how hard simple things can be.