To want to put up a fence but it's not "my side"

[ThereIsAlwaysWine]

My elderly neighbour owns her home, I rent from a housing association. Between us is just one of those wire diamond low fences and I really hate it. She loves it because she loves talking to me about my garden and gives me tips etc but I'm really struggling with the lack of privacy and when I've tried to make attempts to add some privacy to the garden, she mentions it, but in a jokey way. I think she'd be mortified if I mentioned putting a fence up but it's stopping me enjoying my garden as much. But it's her boundary so I can't just go ahead and put one up without asking her first but I'm too nervous to! Plus I don't even know if I'd be allowed? What should I do? Try and speak to her about it? Or just suck it up so as not to upset her? I'd be more than happy to pay for the whole lot.

Put one up inside the existing fence. She doesn't "own" that side of your garden! A few inches will make no difference at

If it’s her boundary surely on your side it’s your boundary? Maybe I’m being a bit dense. Maybe go out with a tape measure and notepad and start measuring heights and she’ll ask and you can say you are thinking of getting a nice new fence on your side so that you can grow some bushes against it for birds or something like that….

i would really hate not having some privacy.

It may be her boundary, but you can do what you like on your side.

It just means you have to leave the wire fence alone, but can but your own fence up. Perhaps get loads of planters and plant Bamboo in them? They give good privacy. Don't plant bamboo in the ground though!

This is what I was about to say. The existing fence may he hers but you can do whatever you want on your side. It might upset her though.

If you don't want to upset her and I can understand that if you are a kind person, then I'd fib and say you're thinking of getting a puppy/dog/cat whatever and will need to keep it from getting out of the garden. You can say you changed your mind after the fence is up.

Look, I know it's a bit unethical, but it all depends on whether you want to upset the woman or not really. Some people will put a fence up and it doesn't matter what the neighbour thinks.

I'd be inclined to approach her again, and say you want to put up a fence and if she moans etc., then do the dog thing.

I'm not really worried about upsetting her as such, I just don't want to cause any problems but I really really want a fence! I'll try and attach a pic to show you the garden at present. She leans over and cuts my bushes down to a height that suits her, so when I try to grow it for some privacy, she'll cut it down "to save me the job" There is the privacy fence panels between us near our back walls, I'd just like to extend it all the way up to the back fence

Stop being such a wet lettuce, OP. Tell her sharply not to cut down your bushes because you’re growing them for privacy. And put up your own fence if you want to!

Because you rent from a housing association, I would check your tenancy agreement before paying out for a 'permanent' structure like a fence. You don't want to spend money then discover you are not allowed to instal one.

Just put up a fence on your side. You can’t take hers down, but there’s nothing to stop you putting a second one up on your land (assuming your tenancy allows it of course)

I would urge you to talk to the neighbour first. I know you dont want an awkward conversation, but it will be 10 times worse after you have erected a fence she is not expecting.

No check tenancy agreement first.Then if that allows fencing, then talk to the neighbour. No point having awkward conversation and then find you are not allowed to proceed anyway.

Buy planters that have trellis fixed to them. You can get them at all sorts of heights. Chuck in fast growers like sweet peas or runner beans or anything like that.

She'll have time to get acclimatised to the growing plants that will then start obscuring the view and reach. If you do beans, then you can frame it as "saving food costs" and even tell her she can pick any from her side to keep her sweet.

Something like this www.argos.co.uk/product/2967017

Oh, god. I have a neighbour like this. Thankfully, she has now become too elderly to manage much in her garden. But for ages she was a bloody nightmare because she had got used to the idea that she could dictate whatever happened in my garden. One time she got very cross with me for having compost bins about a metre inside my boundary, because she liked to set huge bonfires and burn her green waste, and she thought the heat would melt the bins. I had to point out that if this happened it would absolutely be her issue to replace them, and I'd be hopping mad into the bargain!

I think you do need a bit to stop being a wet lettuce TBH. I agree with trying the gentler strategy of saying it ('I'm not going to cut these bushes back because I am re-doing the garden and really want them big and lovely and tall - just letting you know so you don't cut them at all!'). But ultimately you do need her to get the message.

I agree with the idea of planters with trellis, if you're not allowed to put in a permanent hedge or fence.

from your photo it looks like the ‘bad’ side of the fence panel is on your side so convention would say that it’s actually your boundary. If it is her boundary then the ‘good’ side should be facing you.
Can you double check the property details?

You are perfectly entitled to put a fence up on your own side, on your own land. If you’ve got a nosy neighbour I’d make it a 5 foot one, with a foot high trellis on top.

I would agree that you check your tenancy agreement first. If you don’t own your house, you probably don’t want to spend money on a fence. I have the same type of fence, as do all my neighbours but we have privacy because of tall evergreen shrubs.

You can do whatever you like in your garden. As long as you put the fence inside your boundary that's fine.

Just check with the HA that it’s ok for you to put a fence up and put it up alongside hers on your side .