When you arrange to meet a friend and they

[PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers]

always invite someone else along……why?

My friend checks if it’s ok with me and I usually say yes in order not to be seen as difficult.

Then I wonder if she invites another person because I am dull or she finds it difficult with me.

We are not close close. Have a nice chat. Catch up every couple of months. I don’t go out much as no time and on a budget

But is there a reason people do this? I think I will just say I will join her another time as I don’t want spend my evening and money with someone I don’t know.

We had friends like this. When it was situations such as a bbq so more of an open invite or we’re going to a festival, do you fancy it and x and y might come along I didn’t mind but when it became every meet up, I found it really annoying. They’re super social and always busy so I think it was more a case of killing two birds with one stone but I’ve got a lot of friends too and if I’m making time to catch up with someone I haven’t seen in a while, I sometimes just want to catch up with them. You can’t have certain conversations with other people there who you don’t know very well.

I know someone who does this.

she is kind and is a bit of a social butterfly. Her friends are all really nice and they do always make others feel welcome.

I think she is just a “more the merrier” type person, but I have found it difficult when I’ve been wanting to chat to her about more personal things etc and on occasion I have done what you have done and said I’ll see her another time.

With some people I get the impression they see their spare time as very valuable and try and kill two birds with one stone as much as they can.

There is also the possibility that she doesn’t particularly enjoy your company or finds you hard work / dull. Do you think that could be it? I know it’s hurtful but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. Another group of friends I have, there are 4 of us, meet up a few times a year. One woman I’ve started to find insufferable and will never meet one on one again. She is just full of constant drama and can’t or won’t relate to my life at all. Another one is lovely but she is quite dull one on one, but fine in a group. She is a good person and a good friend though and I mean her no ill will. It just can be quite draining one on one. The final fried is good fun, but if she ever drops out of anything I dread going with the other two.

Sometimes it's a time thing. We all have busy lives si she may be a sizable at 6pm on Monday so if she invited more friends she can see them more easily

There are some people who always wanna socialise one to one, and others who struggle with that and prefer a larger group.

I have family like that. You cannot get a date with one of them for love nor money. Not even one coffee, one pint. It always has to be a huge group of people. Usually minimum four, but often upto 20! It's so exhausting.

I never get to actually have a proper conversation with anyone. Just end up small talking with my cousin's mates or their 20 yo kids who I barely know. I end up leaving or going off somewhere for a nap. It's really overwhelming.

So I guess your friend is a slightly less extreme version of these family of mine?!

She may think I am boring but I never invite her out. She always reaches out to me.

If I’m making time to catch up with someone I haven’t seen in a while, I sometimes just want to catch up with them. You can’t have certain conversations with other people there who you don’t know very well.

Agree and this is why I wouldn't like it. Especially if it happened more often than not.

I had a boyfriend who used to do this.

Even our first date was engineered to 'bump' into some friends. We never had a date that was just the two of us. I stopped making firm arrangements with him so he couldn't do it. I'd be vague, suggest we'd decide on the day/evening etc.

With hindsight, if he didn't even want one-on-one dates, he was never going to be a long term option. I wasn't enough for him.

I've never had this happen before and would find it incredibly rude.

Doesn’t sound like she thinks you’re boring then. I’m guessing she is just a “more the merrier” person then.

Meant to add, I don’t think my friend who does this to me thinks I am boring. We always have a good laugh. But I have only known her around 5 years and she has a lovely long established friendship group going back 20+ years.

I get the impression that she makes plans with me but if one of her other friends then asks her to do something, she does not want to miss out. As much as we get on well, if it was a straight choice between me or them, I’m pretty sure she would choose them. But she’s not a bad/rude person and doesn’t want to cancel on me, so she tries to shoehorn two events / meet ups into one.