Bullied at work solidarity needed

[Bulliedmanager]

Hello I am a regular poster but name changed.
I am a manager in a public sector job. I won't be specific bit the closest equivalent is a cross between teaching and health care. I've inherited a team who were previously run by a bully (he was encouraged to move on to a new setting and stepped down to avoid being removed from the job. The team are very much in his image.
I'm being bullied by them in similar ways, all using plausible deniability.
I don't need solutions from this thread really, just solidarity. Also would be helpful to chat with public sector workers who know what this is like, family members in the private sector just say "go to HR, manage them out" but in my 30 years in public sector work, this is rarely done so would be helpful to chat with people who know what this is like.
I am keeping a running log with my line manager but I know nothing will happen to them. I can give specific examples if you need them (adapted to ensure anonymity) but really I just want a bit of hand holding I guess . It's Sunday and I'm already dreading tomorrow!

I don't think anyone can say this isn't bullying, because bullying is a pervasive pattern of behaviour and has to be seen in context, which OP understandably cannot provide. It's clearly behaviour designed to undermine you and your credibility/authority in the workplace and I can see how it could be part of a bullying process.

My advice is to leave @Bulliedmanager . Public sector organisations are notoriously bad at dealing with issues like this and it's really demoralising. I've been bullied at work and it eats away at you. The solution for me was to change roles (asked for demotion) so that I didn't have to work with the toxic bully anymore, but had she continued to seek me out, I would have left. I have never looked back. You are right, the whole 'get HR to deal with it' is poor advice.

OP I wish you well. I have been in your position and there was no support. HR are not your friend, they work for the company and not you. My LM just stepped away and offered no support at all.

I left for my mental health.

Oh god this has made me cry. I'm in the exact same position

I would say don’t let them grind you down. But it’s not that simple.

ask yourself if you really want to manage people, because you can earn the same money without having to deal with that shit

For me it's not the money
I think of it as a vocation and I love the service users and what we can provide them

You know you are being bullied. Sometimes it's micro agressions which you struggle to articulate, but know what is meant by others' actions.

I didn't work in the public sector and I know you don't want advice, but you have sympathy.. it grinds you down. If HR and your union recognise it, then that is almost certainly what it is.

I left (small office manager and colleague were awful and no way to remedy). It took it's toll.

Leave! Go somewhere where they appreciate you. It will be very hard to turn the tide against a whole team.

Not an option currently but maybe in the future

That's how bullies get away with it.
Here you have people saying "that's not bullying", but, you know that sort of thing happens once and you think "oh maybe they all had good reasons," so although you've looked a bit silly, you say "oh well, thanks for coming".

When it's happened several times you know they're doing it on purpose with a coordinated system and it's deliberately meant to make you look incompetent.

But bullies get away with this sort of thing because the nice people assume the first few times that they didn't mean anything by it, just a misunderstanding. Then when they report it their managers think the same - think it's being exaggerated and the victim is being paranoid or sensitive because surely they all had good reason for doing it.

And the bully is encouraged by the fact they have acted wide eyed innocent and come out smelling of roses.

I'm currently going through something similar. There's been a couple of definite issues I have been able to flag to management but the rest of the things are so hard to put your finger on - the feeling that you're being talked about, constant pushback on suggestions or instructions, low level doing what they want (e.g. not asking if they can leave to do something, asking if they can go for a smoke break with coats already on and vapes in hand so I can't really say no without looking like a bitch), having to be shown how to do basic things again and again and still refusing to do it themselves as they don't know how to. Nothing I can take to management without looking like I'm just moaning.

It's wearing me down and I've spent the weekend trying to find another job I can move sideways into.

I feel the only thing you can do is keep a record of issues. Make it very hard for them to ignore or refuse instructions by putting them in writing and giving deadlines for a response. As soon as events are confirmed put out a rota and copy your boss in.

If you can identify how existing procedures are contributing to deniability can you make changes to that?

You have summed it up
Also the denial of others here , I'm middle aged , worked successfully for years. Never been bullied before so I know it's different

Oh my god yes! Thr constant pushback I DEFINITELY recognise and the talking about me

This is mobbing, not bullying. Look it up. It follows a predictable pattern that only ever ends with you losing your job and your mental health. I would strongly advise you to leave now while you still can. You can find lots of resources about this on Ken Westhues website. You will find that a lot more validating than mumsnet. Good luck. Btw mobbing frequently happens in public sector or anywhere else where there is job security precisely because people can't be managed out.

Definitely is bullying , has been actioned as such. Will look up mobbing for helpful tips

Solidarity here.
I have a team of 4, 2 of whom have been with the organisation for longer than me. One of them went for the manager's job, but I was successful.
It's awful. I will never let on to them but the subtle undermining and barbed comments are horrible. It's bullying.
I am going to start keeping a detailed log and also, on the advice of my manager, pulling them up on comments each and every time.
Hope tomorrow isn't too bad for you.

Thank you, you too. Its just so horrible isn't it and just having to keep a track is so wearing

Bullying is when it's by one person - mobbing is when a whole team or department act together. Mobbing is much worse than bullying. Most people won't have heard of mobbing or understand it so just because it's been actioned as bullying doesn't mean that the situation is fully understood. The only helpful tip when there is mobbing is to get out as soon as you can. I am sorry you are going through this.