AIBU to feel at the end of my tether but not feel ready to walk?

[AllMyFaultt]

My husband is a narcissist. I'm fairly certain. He expects everything to be his way even if it doesn't make sense logically, he is actually nasty, whereas in arguments I'm trying to sort things out he's clearly just trying to either get his own way or punish me because something didn't go his way, there is no reasoning with him and I often wish I hadn't engaged. If he does something wrong or if I'm not happy about it I'm not really allowed to say but when he's not happy he expects to have his say. He talks over me or walks out when I try to speak if he doesn't like what I say.

We have two young children and have been married over ten years. He's always been like this. It's not new.

The latest issue is that he clearly misunderstood my plans. I'd even go as far as to say "there was a misunderstanding between us" but he is still annoyed about it a week later and has been punishing me all week. Last I went out with friends. He knew I was going and it was written down. He sometimes goes out on a Saturday night but he knew I was going out so I thought he just wasn't going. He never said he was going or asked when I'd be back.

He's now very annoyed I wasn't back in time for him to go out. He hung up the phone on me on Saturday night when he called me then didn't speak to me when I got home. The next day he was being difficult about everything, explaining I'm selfish so he'll be selfish in future. He won't do anything to help me. I explained I had no idea he still planned to go out as he said he didn't mind me going to this evening out but he didn't listen.

What annoys me most is he's punished me all week because of it, giving me the silent treatment, or making passing aggressive comments about the the things he'll do differently now he's not thinking about me. I'm sure it will pass but only until the next thing.

This morning I just thought no I'm not doing this any more. I have no interest in being in a relationship where he clearly isn't trying to make things better just punish me when he's unhappy but then not sure why I'm reluctant to actually do anything. If I could just ask him to leave, I would, but I know he wouldn't go, so logistically it's difficult.

The thing with behaviour like this is I'm actually annoyed with him. I don't think I didn't anything wrong and I think his behaviour towards me has been awful but because I feel so rubbish I just want things back to normal.

Then you have to be brave and strong. You’ll get there

So here we go again.

Yesterday he was being "normal" (only just) so I went with it but mainly I went out with the dc and we had a lovely day.

Today I took the dc to school, took him to work, did a food shop, cooked dinner, took dc to their hobbies, washed up. I was working too albeit from home. All he did was take food out of the oven as I asked him to, while I was putting dc to bed, and he complained that I'd ruined the game he was playing on his phone.

He went on to tell me just now I've done everything I for myself that I wanted today. All those things I did was because I wanted to apparently. God give me strength.

I've come upstairs after arguing telling him that clearly I have done things for others while he has done nothing except work and I've also worked. He talked over me as usual. I just texted him to say what I wanted to say but know I shouldn't have as it doesn't make a difference. He doesn't care. I feel like going down there and asking whether he even believes any of this rubbish he comes out with but I'm stopping myself as again I know it's pointless and does not serve me.

I feel like he behaves badly and I let him because I know if I object he'll be worse and then things are calm and I'm almost grateful and then I feel like a real doormat when he turns on me again for nothing.

This isn't normal, and you dont have to put up with it.