You're always changing jobs, you will never have a career

[Suzi9989I]

Out at a birthday meal for a family member last night. My cousin who will be retiring in 2 years in their 50s asked how my is job going?

I have been working at specialist school setting for children with disability for a couple of years and loving my job and being more present for the children/ balanced homelife. I told them that it's going really well, as only working term time only the finance side has taken a hit, took a significant pay cut working but happy. DH is higher earner which they are fully aware of. We don't have loads of disposable cash but surviving.

Their response was as per title.
Am feeling actually really sad then later angry as I have always worked even after 2 redundancies, had worked in finance pre DCs.

I have not been around them in a long time, felt ver belittled. Ended up justifying decisions I made and making best decisions for me and family....

I feel every one of us can contribute to society in many ways and I am not known as a professional with a title or lots of letters after my name. I shouldn't be made to feel any less as I work at a school- I have a degree and said cousin do not BTW. Maybe they're jealous!!! 😆

I just needed a rant, interested to see if people actually agree with their statement.

The statement may or may not be correct but that's irrelevant because not everybody wants a career.

I don't even know where to start unpicking this nonsense, so I'll go with 'your cousin is a smug twat who has no idea how challenging working with any kids is, let alone ones with SEN, and should get off their high horse'.

Didn’t sound like a comment about working in a school, more that you didn’t want to climb the greasy pole. Presumably he did. I assume part time suits you and you are happy? What goes it matter what anyone else thinks? If you moaned about your wages and how everyone doesn’t appreciate what you do, then it might elicit a negative response. Otherwise, ignore it. Who cares.

People can be twats. Not everyone wants or is able to have a career. As my nan, a cleaner, used to say 'you'll always need someone to clean the toilets'. She's right, and there should be no shame or guilt in whatever you do for a living. If you're ok with your choices then everyone else should mind their own business. I've had jobs and I've now got a career. I still see the 'career' as a job because they can sack me and make me redundant; something that's far less likely to happen in your area of work.

Someone who makes such a comment would only do so if they were unhappy with their own life.

Your cousin sounds jealous.

A uni friend of mine by his own description "mucked around with different things" since he left uni.

He doesn't have a career and isn't sure where to go for his next move but without a long career history in doing what he does now (IT) his skills are limited.

It does depend what you want though.

But the statement isn’t correct.

Career - an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.

If someone changes industries every couple of years, by definition, they cannot build a career. If you have a different position, please do expand on your statement.

However, this was not the point of my comment. Not having a career doesn't make someone's job more or less valuable, rewarding or appropriate for their situation.

Agreed. Ive been in the same profession since my 20s. I did the qualifications in my teens and 20s at uni and post grad.

If you keep changing jobs to different things you cannot have a career. But that doesnt make your work any less important or valuable. Quite the contrary.

The OPs job with disabled children is so very important.

The title of this doesn't match the post. 'You're always changing jobs' suggests she thinks you're a job hopper. That's nothing to do with what type of job you are doing. It's the number of jobs, not the type of jobs.

If you do move jobs very regularly, she is right - job hoppers are regarded as a risk and so, she's correct, you are less likely to move up the ladder.

Thank you for taking the time to respond.
A varied views for sure

Smile and nod. Someone else’s view has no relevance to your life snd your family.

It might just be worth spending some time to work out why these words have impacted you. Nothing to do with who spoke them, a bit of thinking will help you see why something that is irrelevant to you hooked you in. Just for your own peace of mind. Otherwise just continue ignoring them. .