Vaping teen

[Zombiemum1946]

My 15 yr old has been vaping on and off for 3 yrs. She gets it from friends and has now told me that her friends are getting annoyed with her. and she can't cope with it. She's high masking neuro diverse and only recently diagnosed after we finally got support in place 2 yrs after an overdose , risk taking behaviour, and self harm as well as a year school refusing. Her meltdowns are distressing for her to say the least and often result in self harm.She feels that vaping helps. She wants us to buy her a vape and fluid,I've refused, but after talking to her in depth, I'm thinking I'd rather know she's getting proper vape fluid than whatever she can scrounge from others and the predators that kids get dodgy crap from in the town. I've talked her through the addiction side that she's already half way down the road to. I've gone through the health risks but she still insists.I keep saying to her she's only 15,it's illegal,it's dangerous to her neuro development.I want to keep her safe but wonder if there are things I just have to accept and pick my battles. We've got her into a small education unit again and hopefully mainstream school part time, huge step forward for her.We have refused to allow her to drink but she's gone to friends houses and had alcohol with adult supervision but been honest about it with us. I'm torn about this because I'm glad she's talking to me about the things she's dealing with like alcohol,vaping and drugs, and if vaping is as bad as it gets I should thank my lucky stars. Drugs are rampant where we are but used to be rare (one of the reasons we moved here), so it's been hard for her to stay out of the way of it but has managed so far. AIBU to relent and buy the vape and fluid? The past 3 yrs has almost broken me and I feel that this is a battle I've already lost so I need to do my best to make it safer for her.

I vape and use a proper set up and regulated e liquid
is she using nicotine? I have heard nicotine often helps with ADHD
if you bought the e liquid and she was using nicotine you could gradually reduce it until she was down to 0%

i am probably more relaxed about it and others will come on and say absolutely not, but I started smoking at 12. If vapes had been about, I wouldn’t have had all the danger of the tar etc in the cigarettes

Catera, I started smoking at about 14 and it took 20 yrs for me to stop.I tried to explain the addiction and how it takes over, the physical and financial cost. In a way I also feel angry that I'm now going to have to fund her habit, but if we do buy it then at least we know what she's getting. I met up with friends and they know who the dodgy guys are that the kids are getting their vapes etc from, and it's worse than I thought.

If she's been diagnosed, are there any other proper medications that might help? I don't think vaping is safe for children, so I understand why you don't want to buy them for her.

You should have made it ‘safer’ when she was 12 and stopped her. It gives the wrong message to now start buying it for her. At the very least tell her you’re against it, won’t buy it and hope that she hears your concern for her health and finances as she gets older.

When she was 12 we didn't know she was vaping and our main concern at that point was the overdose and self harm. We've been clear about being very against it and the damage it does but like every other kid who gets into this rubbish she can't or won't listen. I now know how my mother felt when she found out I started smoking.

We receive full diagnostic report in a couple of weeks. We had to go private because the waiting list is 4 yrs on the NHS. We can't move forward till an official diagnosis, the next step is to get access to camhs ( was 2 yrs waiting list) or specialist paeds (3 yrs waiting list) who will possibly move her on to adult services because by the time they get round to her she'll be an adult. I don't know how long the adult service is but I've not heard good things.

I agree with this. I really sympathise: it must be heartbreaking and frustrating for you but I don’t think endorsing and paying for an addictive drug is the solution.