To question religion vs spirituality

[100jamjars]

I'm atheist but born into a religious C of E family. My parents and my siblings have always behaved like they believed. Husband is atheist but born into a catholic family. None of them ever went regularly to church, or even behaved
like they were religiously orientated even though on the outside they claimed to be.

So, given that my dh thinks it's all a load of claptrap, I struggle to make him understand that there is a certain spirituality that continues on throughout
our lives. And spirituality is different to religion.

We live in a rural area with no piped in gas, electricity is too expensive, so we have to rely on a woodburning stove to heat the house.

I find that watching the fire, watching it wax and wane, feeding it and watching the flames flicker up into a blaze is amazingly comforting to me.

It could be that I'm stuck at home caring for my disabled daughter that is making this a satisfying function. I don't know. But what I do know is that the need to have fire connects me to my long dead family.

The hearth, and having a fire burning was upmost in my childhood. Many could not afford it. Fortunately, my parents managed.

So when I chuck another log on the fire and watch it burn and feel the warmth,
I think how lucky I am. And when I watch the flames flicker, I think of them.
And all the people who have been lucky enough to feel the warmth.

I think that might be spirituality.

Connection to lineage. And having a thankful heart. Practicing gratitude is a common spiritual practice. Religion too tbf.

Not to sound flowery but, I think of it as many people carry a light within them. The spiritually inclined, we have to nourish it. Or we are inclined instead to become dimmed and cold.

For some people, its fine, they live solely in the practical. And the world ticks along for them just fine all the same.

But many flit the line between the two worlds. And even thought they may not think of themselves as deeply spiritual, there are things their souls need in order to be nourished.

Perhaps he has things that he just doesn't think about. Or perhaps not. But you do and that's a special thing.

Hippy comes to mind reading this load of nonsense both my granny’s saw things other people couldn’t see unfortunately I have also too - many things have happened and I knew it was going to happen and sure enough it happened I don’t like it and have now suppressed it not nice knowing you’re about to have a car crash despite telling partner not to drive that day knowing when a death is coming soon then getting the phone call to verify it it’s always been people close to me or very good friends

I think we can all benefit from having things that make our lives meaningful.

I wouldn't call that spirituality tbh, although I think the definition of spirituality is probably very vague. I think human beings have a need to connect with something that feels greater than them, or something that gives meaning beyond concrete, day-to-day experiences. So it's common to look for that in from other sources if you don't believe in any gods. The comfort of a fire and thinking about your relatives seem pretty normal, not necessarily spiritual things to do though.

It’s the beginnings of spirituality, of recognising that there’s more to life than the material.
Intangible things make life richer and more meaningful- the connections we share with others, the beauty and awesomeness of the created order.
It’s healthy to be aware and connected to things beyond ourselves.

Interesting that you are not spiritual despite so many glaring signs that there’s more to life than the immediate, but I don’t think it’s uncommon.
My mother is similar in that she finds excuses for seeing ghosts and she’s seen quite a few, but always tells herself there is some other reason. She did come to me for advice recently though as she had an encounter with something in the night and it worried her. Fortunately my advice worked and whatever it was has stopped bothering her.

I personally wouldn’t call that spirituality, I am however concerned for your lungs if wood is regularly burned in your home.

What glaring signs?

To me, spirituality is believing that there is more to life than the scientific explanation of it. Religion is what humans have done with that belief, controlling it, manipulating it, and monetizing it.

Well, I light a fire nightly throughout the winter and love it, and I’m contentedly atheist and without the remotest ‘spiritual’ stirring. What you’re describing sounds to me like pure enjoyment of the sensual qualities of having a fire.

Things is scientists also say there is more to life than the scientific explanation ...
It's why they haven't stopped

They don’t, you know. It’s just that there’s always more ‘scientific’ explanation to discover.

I’m a Christian but I’m a doubt-filled questioning one. I think spirituality is also contemplating something bigger than oneself and trying to make sense of our existence and beyond. Christianity gives me a framework for that. Whether it’s the right framework or not, I’m still figuring it out.

Your meditation on the fire in your fireplace certainly is spirituality, because you are observing the wonder of energy conversion and how that manifests repeatably in certain unique conditions on our planet. Around us is an infinite lifeless void (as far as we know) and yet in an ordinary living room is a phenomenon that is not only beautiful and meditative, but gives us light and life. This to me is where spirituality and science comes together.

Exactly. None of this "here's all the answers with a bow on top.

As I committed atheist I know one can certainly be a spiritual atheist and feel connected to the last and the universe and not require any supernatural explanations for this. Science and nature is “awesome” and powerful - I don’t need an additional layer of a god to make this anymore wonderful (or sometimes terrifying) than it already is. I can still meditate, take time in nature to appreciate it and reflect and develop through reflecting in my diary.

‘both my granny’s saw things other people couldn’t see unfortunately I have also too - many things have happened and I knew it was going to happen and sure enough it happened I don’t like it and have now suppressed it not nice knowing you’re about to have a car crash despite telling partner not to drive that day knowing when a death is coming soon then getting the phone call to verify it it’s always been people close to me or very good friends’

To me spirituality is a sense of connection either with the past or something within yourself. I find it in nature, old buildings, relationships with the people and animals I love, peaceful places and the steady contentment that comes with the day to day rituals of life. If I focus on these things and allow myself to enjoy them then I'm happier.

A fire in the hearth is as old as time. The connection to that has been passed down in our blood.

For me there doesn't need to be any more to it than that.

Everyone enjoys gazing into a fire. Or being outside in nature. Why does it have to be named spirituality?

I like sitting and staring into the middle distance. Lazy? No, I’m calling it mindfulness. 😂

You yap about him who is him could be a female who knows I’ve spent many years in Southern Ireland with all the religious notions spent time visiting a convent I’m not convinced that there’s a so called after life once you die that’s it finished you get put in a wooden box dumped in the ground or burnt - cremated either way you’re gone all that is left is people who loved you and remember you now and then - I dislike the words death coffins yes it’s raw for the family if you have one they get over it and continue to live there “lives” running around like hamsters for want of a better word i obviously was born went to school grew up worked got married more than once had babies continued to work to the point of now I look back and think what was it all for

Excuses that’s a good one !!! My granny’s must have got it wrong my dad didn’t believe in any of it I remember as a child my paternal granny telling me things that did happen and my maternal grandmother saying to my mother she’s been here before I certainly don’t want to ever come back to whatever this place is

and @ClaredeBear As I committed atheist I know one can certainly be a spiritual atheist and feel connected to the last and the universe and not require any supernatural explanations for this. Science and nature is “awesome” and powerful - I don’t need an additional layer of a god to make this anymore wonderful (or sometimes terrifying) than it already is. I can still meditate, take time in nature to appreciate it and reflect and develop through reflecting in my diary.

👆 both of these posts express it excellently imho

I think your post is quite lovely @100jamjars . I'm not religious or spiritual but I think its normal to seek a connection in whatever form that takes. Awe and wonder are part of spirituality so I think what you describe is spirituality, but everyone is going to have a different description and experience. Whatever gives you comfort and makes you feel part of a greater purpose is important and good for you, so enjoy it.

I don’t consider something reminding you of loved ones as spiritual?’…

They are both a bunch of crap